As I lie in bed writing this I feel an overbearing sense of nothingness, emptiness.. void of any emotion when normally I would.

Writing to me was therapeutic, calming progressive for me. But now..it's lost it's edge. I no longer feel creative, the desire to pick up the pen is gone and I'm back to square one. This was the one thing I was good at.

My fix wasn't taking drugs or getting drunk. It was pouring my soul into my work...and now....

It's gone...I don't know what to do.

I'm literally at a

loss

for....

There is no upward mobility
Here in America
Poor is poor

And you'll stay that way

Who wants to work
A 50 hour work week
For a lousy 25 grand a year?

Not me

I won't be used by some system

When my parents die
I'll inherit their home

I'm sure many other
30 somethings
Have the same plan
Here in America

The Tao is misunderstood
And the loving man
The gentle man is despised

I dislike mainstream American culture
At times

They say im a bad guy
For noticing all lies
They got us fooled
With fake wise
Open up your eyes
Youll see the sunrise
Shaft of light
For your mind
Shadows of times
Reflectin' off your moves
Which proves
This aint what ya body
Should be used to
News crews breakin' fuse
Open the breaker box
N you'll see all the plots
Darkness works best at opposites
Earth is a mirror of hell
Trapped in a jail
Cell with no bail
When will we yell
Out for a help
Too many swimming in pawns
Like mike phelps
Trying to achieve a
Gold medal
Only to settle
With a broken wing
As the skies sing
A beautiful melody
But we tuned out
Natures sound cuz we
Penitentiary bound
By these evil spirits
Who worship the ground
Moloch to Bohemian
Grove owls appearin on death tolls
Read the scrolls
On tv watch them expose and scold
A world of perfection
But wheni see reality
I see imperfection

When absurdity is the show,
What else does then remain?
To be branded with the tag,
"Stupid" you are... yeah, stupid I am!
I see the world with clear eyes,
No calling brown black or Tan white.
The moon travels around the sun,
Not the sun travelling across our skies.
I like to call a ***** a *****,
"Stupid you are!!" modernity demands more.
Duality... not my way or inclination,
Even if modernity demands it.
Gone are the days of morality and modesty.
****** seems to be the new trend,
Truth and courage relegated to the rear.
Now if games are not played or graft taken,
A label of "Stupid" is then attached.
Then, it seems that "Stupid"is my moniker,
As such, then, I shall wear the name proudly.

Oh, he travels this dark path,
Adventuring beyond death.
He’s the champion of
Molag Bal to Sheogorath.
Oh, The Dragonborn with a dark path.
He’s prepared for the battle.
His legs, torso and head
Covered in metal.

Hands on his sword
Covered in snow.
He’s prepared
To cover his hands with blood
Again.

Another war
Heads roll on the floor.
Ulfric on his knees
Praying to the gods.
Killed his own wife
In cold blood
Ripping off her head
With his own hands.
Oh, The Dragonborn with a dark path.

That fight between the ears,
between love and war...

when love loses
and hatred oozes.

You've gone and lost control.
Your ego is on a
I Me Mine trip.

Let go
and do your back flip.

You kind of
feel like crying,
it has been
a long ride home...

Why don't you
roll up your sleeves
and dig in the dirt.

Go and repair the damage,
now that wouldn't hurt.

Oh Lord,
I'm a ******
for your junk..

so go and plunk your junk
right down beside me.

Forget about the grief
it doesn't really matter.

Don't hold
any cards up your sleeve.

Listen to the washboard,
guitar and harp.
All that banging on
the piano, it sounds so good


Just go on and get free
any way you can...

Come on if you want,
that's the way it's supposed to be.

Now I'm not lying
and I am trying
but sometimes it's
one step forward two steps back

So many mistakes, let them go,
just smoke up the smoke stack.

Where to go, where to go,
you have a beginning
and a middle part
but you can't
see the end....