“what are your special skills?”

well—
lately i have mastered the art
of silent tears
and wordless crying,
shuddering breaths
instead of wracking sobs.
my eyes don’t even get red.
if i do it right,
i have the exclusive ability
to break down in a full room
without anyone noticing.

also,
i can brush my weak gums in front of the mirror
and watch blood drip onto my uneven teeth
without flinching.

last,
i can give the best i have
every time
and still my brain can convince me—
worthless.

I didn't come to the world
just to see its beauties
I was born to gain everything
I came here to do my duties.

I did not come here to destroy
I was born to make something special
I did not come here to cry
and not to make anyone want to cry
I was just born here to win everything.

There is no leisure time in this world
I came here to do something
and to delight in the outside
I was not born even to feel trapped
I came here to reach the equanimity
I did not come to be tortured
I was born to utilize to everyone.

I came to overcome the bind
I'm going to make a heaven here
This world is a beautiful flower
I'm just a bee, and I'll take out its honey.

In regards to promiscuity
A man gets a cheer and a clap
While a woman gets a slap
On the wrist
And a tsk tsk

Oh the double standard

Lady in blue
If only I could reach you
You will know that I love you

Lady in blue
I honestly adore you

Please allow me to love you...

I miss you
And you aren’t even gone yet
From experience
I know how this will end

One day you will find someone new
Meet someone funnier; prettier
You’ll slowly slip away
All while denying anything is wrong

When you look into her eyes
You will see a future
When you look in my eyes
You see lust and desire

There is no future for us here
so why do I let myself fall in love anyway?

With a heavy heart and a sinking feeling, I slowly realized that we would never have worked out, that we weren't good for each other. I wanted what she couldn't give me and she needed something that I didn't have – something she got used to, something she's familiar with. We lived in perhaps separate universes, and it was only through some mistake, some unfortunate collision we both shared that we had met and fallen in love – if it was even real love.

I knew what I saw in her and how I felt and somehow, despite my instinct that it would all end in tears and heartbreak, made me dive completely in, made me offer all my love and made me irrevocably careless. I knew. I had known. But that did not stop me.

If you knew her, you couldn't blame me.