So many days I begged God for freedom
And how many nights I pleaded for more –
Love.

And here I am, free and fulfilled
For a moment in time.

Let the present go on forever.

Not to string you along, my dear

but we cannot simply cut ties with the past

even the inconsequential have its consequences

You might outlive regret, but that doesn't mean all is forgiven

people in their wholeness
can only be understood.

not explained.

Dear Soulmate
I'm pretty sure we've crossed paths before, just unassured of the spot
But I know you've already forgotten
How I look or how my name sounds like
Just another wallflower within your area of sight

Dear Soulmate
It's pretty weird for me to have you here as well
A bit restless, I don't know if you can tell
After being spun around the other way
By you who caught me in his arms and let me stay

Dear Soulmate
It almost feels like I have a debt to pay
Only to be fixed by paying attention to you
One burden I don't find myself to be in dismay
For I know that somehow, you carry the same load too

Dear Soulmate,
I am not in love with you, let's make that clear
I have learned not to after all these years
From many a chance encounter broken by this mere
Emotional "commitment" shrouded in unvoiced fear

See, I can not be caught in the teeth of romance
For it has bitten me once, let's not give it another chance
to ruin something good, I know you'd understand
So let me keep my distance now, before it catches me with its glance

Dear Soulmate,
I hope you feel the same
As I write to you, it may sound insane
Let me explain, before things turn twisted
Why I can't let you be one of them in the end

The problem is when my soul finds a mate, it ***** it dry
leaving it dependent for it to thrive
I see yours basking in freedom, a wonderful light
So I won't say goodbye, but rather, goodnight.

Most of my life I have been what every one wanted me to be.
I have been kind to many people. Sometimes too kind.
Other people in my life sit and talk with me about why do I do that when they just **** on me. It's the right thing to do...so I was taught.
A lot of people in my life don't understand me (hell I don't understand me). They get upset because they think I am bein used. Maybe so. But isn't that my choice if I choose to go back over and over again.?
I feel invisible when I do what everyone wants me to do. Yet when I do something that is kind hearted they all of the sudden see me just to stop by and say hey you do realize that your getting used or why do you have to get involved or my favorite don't those kids have parents. Why is helping someone such a bad thing?
Okay... Back to bein invisible!!!!
No one sees me, no one hears me, I wonder if they even care that I'm sitting and crying inside, that I'm sitting here hurting inside. That I'm sitting wondering what is so wrong with me.
You see I know what it like to be so down and out and no one there to listen to help to just see. So if I can help someone else out, see someone when they are hurting or just even listen to the tears pouring down there face then YES that is what I am going to do. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Yes I try very hard to treat others like I wanted to be treated. Life *****! Parents forget what it's like at that age. Friends they become convenient friends only around when they want something. Life and people are not perfect. Some times humans have pain. Pain that we don't see. The pain is invisible. So when I see someone that needs help I am there.  
Yet when I do Help I feel so invisible to the other people around me. My feelings are invisible to them. I slowly become invisible. Then when I stop at what makes me happy I still sometimes feel invisible.
They talk about how people use me to get what they want, others can't understand why I allow people to  manipulate me. How can I be so blind to what they are doing. Well my opinion is if you really think that I am that blinded that I don't see a twenty something person manipulating me then you are the one blinded.
My opinion doesn't matter I'm invisible.
Some days I really do think they all would be better off without me.
Oh wait I'm invisible it doesn't matter!

like water
I poured myself into her until she was overflowing at the brim

like reinforced steel
I bridged my heart to hers and welded myself to her soul

like the sun
I filled myself with light to cover her darkness

like a blanket
I shielded her from the harsh world underneath the covers

like magnets
I orbited her aura until we inevitably collided

like a seed
I felt myself growing up from her

Then, like an idiot
I could tell she felt nothing.

Roosters and swampy leaches,
always attacking the Georgia peaches,
darkened chasms oozing stench,
trying to control the velvet trench.

Leering eyes stare out at mountains,
saliva drools, like Trevi fountain,
imaginations in overdrive,
thinking about creating lives.

In the sty, squealing lies,
as the fairer fire fries,
in the grease, they exuded,
and the things, which they alluded.