If I could write how I was feeling, I would fill a hundred books
But it’s impossible to write, what I have never understood
The tears that leave me eyes are becoming (much) too common
I somehow wish that I, could be the man I promised
Life has gave me chances, while love has gave me scars
Can I still be saved? Or am I too far gone?
I’ll walk a thousands roads, but never reach the end
I love to turn around, as soon as life begins
I’m quick to help another, but slow to help myself
I’ve tried so many times yet fall back in this hell
My heart is slowly breaking, my soul is frozen raw
Another day of chasing, the man I know I’m not

When the harshest words you hear, come from inside of your head
When the loneliest you’ve been, comes from inside of your bed
Maybe it is time, to give yourself some love

When the reflection that you see is covered by a mask
When the person that you are, loves to tell you what you lack
Maybe is is time, to give yourself a try

When you cannot fix yourself and all you feel is hurt
When the time is passing by and your questioning your worth
Maybe it is time, to give yourself some help

When the toughest critic yet is the man in your reflection
When your tired and alone, and you lost all your direction
Maybe it is time, to give yourself a break

When you learn to love your flaws and feel free inside your head
When you wake up filled with hope, and smile cuz you can  
You know it is time, to start living your life

When you say that your enough, that the lonely times will pass
When you wake up without hurt and don’t put on a mask
You know it is time, to start living your life

When you no longer feel pain from the emptiness of words
When every single day feels like a chance to learn
You know it is time, to start living your life

When the life that you have dreamed are within your own grasp
When you start to feel happiness without reaching for the flask
You know it is time, to start living your life

are we really ‘all alone’ or just addicted to the pain?

There’s mountains I am climbing
No man will ever see
There’s times when I feel broken
When life won’t let me be
There’s whiskey in my bloodline
But waters what I need
There’s pain outside my front porch
It’s staring back at me

Guess that’s the way it goes now
I’m fighting on my own
I don’t know where I’m going
Just hope it’s not alone
Some peaks are not worth reaching
Some lives are cut too short
I wish that what I know now
I had known before

The world is big
My mind is small
Another day
I can’t recall,
I’m learning just
How hard I’ll fall
A lonely life
Ain’t what I’d thought

You live for life
I live for pain
I search for words
Yet can’t explain,
I’m in the past
Cannot escape
Tomorrow’s stuck
In yesterday

Why can’t you see, just how bad it gets
Life will never be, the way that I except
I once dreamed a dream but now I’m lost and blind
I once dreamed a dream that I cannot still find

I don’t have fun
I can hear you London
I don’t have fun
I can hear you fine
I don’t have fun
I can hear you London
I am running out of time

Open up
But just get hurt
Need some love
oh how it burns
Losing time
Here on this Earth
I don’t care
I’m not the first

Feeling you
But now you’re gone
All alone
Another song
World at war
An unknown cause
Life is pain
For all involved

I know that peace, must start within
Not living life if it never did begin
Not feeling fine, guess I never did
Yet here I am, blowing in the wind
Here I am, blowing in the wind


I don’t have fun
I can hear you London
I don’t have fun
I can hear you fine
I don’t have fun
I can hear you London
You will never see me smile
Yeah cuz you will never see me

If I could tell you how I feel, all these thoughts inside my head
You would probably run away or say your phone has just been dead
I can’t seem to get replies when I talk about my struggles
I still yearn for younger days when I was jumping into puddles  
I wasn’t scared of what’s ahead, I just took it breath by breathe
I was happy with myself, now I’m filled with loneliness
Don’t know how or don’t know when, I just know I’m not the same
I’d trade a thousand friends just for one who’d want to stay
I’ve been walking on my own for as long as I recall
My body merges with the trees but the wind won’t take us far
I cannot shake my roots, and the man that I’ve become
Can’t you see I’ve changed? I’m so uncomfortably numb

The voices in my head have never been so loud
A moment slowly passes, another’s left to drown
The man above is looking up, the devils looking down
Why are some noises cherished? And others just sound

Nostalgia doesn’t push away the times that cause us pain
It wants to see the brighter side, and I should do the same
But I focus on the darker ones and stay inside my cage
I push away the ones I love, there’s no one else to blame

Imperfections fill my soul and nothing’s ever changed
My days are just a movie scene, I’m acting on a stage
But nights are when I lose my mind, it cannot be contained
I know I’m prone to run from love, I wish I would of stayed

Stayed to see the friends I knew grow up before my eyes
Stayed to see the girl I love become more than one night
Stayed to see my mom be proud of the man I am inside
I’d leave behind the pain I felt, and live to see the light

But I let fear take over every inch of my weak soul
I never learned to fight for me, I lost all self-control
I’m not sure I can be okay, and go on with my life
The man I see that’s staring back, I hardly recognize

The person who I am is not the person that you see

The voices in my head have never been so loud
A moment slowly passes, while another’s left to drown
The man above is looking up, while the devils looking down
Why are some noises cherished? And others (are) just sound
Nostalgia doesn’t push away the times that cause us pain
It (just) wants to see the brighter side, and I should do the same
But I focus on the darker ones and stay inside my cage
I push away the ones I love, there’s no one else to blame
Imperfections fill my soul and nothing’s ever changed
My days are just a movie scene, I’m acting on a stage
But nights are when I lose my mind, it cannot be contained
I know I’m prone to run from love, I wish I would of stayed
Stayed to see the friends I knew grow up before my eyes
Stayed to see the girl I love become more than one night
Stayed to see my mum be proud of the man I am inside
I’d leave behind the pain I felt, and live to see the light
But I let fear take over every inch of my weak soul
I never learned to fight for me, I lost all self-control
I’m not sure I can be okay, and go on with my life
The man I see that’s staring back, I hardly recognize

I’ve spent my whole life running
From the demons I won’t face,
Yet I thank my lucky stars
That I am here today

The world ain’t nearly half as bad
As I make it out to be,
I know that I will be okay
Even if it’s in my dreams

The pain that I’ve felt before
And the struggles up ahead,
Will not leave me defeated
I will never walk away

My soul is broken
My heart is froze
Yet I will fight another day
I’m no longer alone
The Lord has blessed me time and time
To be the man I’ll be
I thank Him for the pain I’ve felt
Without it I’m not me
Without it I’m not me
Without it I’m not me

The hate will try to knock me down
And leave me half past dead
I’ve been there many times before
And I’ll be there again

But life ain’t bout the lowest days
It’s bout how you respond
We’ll get back up, find our way
And learn how to go on

My friend, I’ll help you make it through
The darkest of your times
I’ll lean on you, you’ll lean on me
I know we will survive

My soul is broken
My heart is froze
Yet we will fight another day
We’re no longer alone
The pain you’ve felt will soon become
A distant, far unknown
Know that you are special friend
Without you, we can’t be
Without you, we can’t be
Without you, we can’t be

The wolf howls as the moon appears
The wind shrieks, light disappears
The alpha is hunting, craving a taste
Of the lips of a prey, whatever it takes

He hunts and hunts, but to no avail
He takes solace in drinks from the pail,
He needs to feed this hunger inside
He’ll do what it takes, no matter the price

Spotting a prey, he waits to pounce
The prey is alone, the wolf has no doubt
Her friends are all gone, she’s fully exposed  
The moment has come, he rips off her clothes

Helpless and ashamed, the prey cannot react
Yet her screams can be heard, these wolves hunt in packs
This has happened before and it will happen again
Another innocent prey wearing the wrong dress

The wolf could be a man who spent last night alone
The wolf could be a friend dressed in sheep’s clothes
The prey must be careful, can only trust few
The prey could be anyone, pray it’s not me or you

Elijah, don’t be scared
Elijah, I’ll be there
You’ll feel as if you can’t go on
Tell yourself that you’ll be fine
Fight my son, the war is long
Don’t let thoughts control your mind

Elijah, you’ll feel pain
Elijah, I relate
I have seen the lowest lows
I have nearly lost all hope,
But I knew, the sun would rise
And darkness would be left behind

Elijah, I’ve held you near
Elijah, have no fear
I know that life has knocked you down
You soon will learn how to go on
Get back up from off the ground
Trust the Lord, His love is strong

Elijah, let’s see that smile
Elijah, you are my child
Know that life has trying times  
I love to watch you slowly grow
You will be tested, you will survive
I love you more than you will know

I miss so many and I feel alone
An empty mind is the devil’s home,
I have no answers, have no time
The world is changing and passed me by,
The man I was is far away
The man I am was led astray,
Nostalgia should be left behind
I can’t control my lonesome mind,

I care too much what others think
And pour myself another drink,
The world will never see my pain
The bottle knows and loves to stay,
Addiction runs throughout my veins
Another sip is all it takes,
I’m sorry all, you know I tried
I can’t control my lonesome mind

The days are cold, the nights are long
The cliched quote, ‘I can’t go on’,
Yet everyday, I choose to live
I made the choice to never quit,
I feel the pain, I feel the hurt
But still I know, my life has worth,
I have a Lord I can confide
I’ve learned to love my lonesome mind,

Life knocks you down and leaves you broke
But know that life, it still has hope
I write these words to ease your pain
Or let you know, that I relate
I see the hurt, you try to fight,
You punch and punch, with all your might
Yet feel as if you always fail
But trust me friend, you will prevail,
You’re not alone, no need to hide
You can control your lonesome mind

Out in Phoenix, they’re seeing lights
In LA, they shine too bright
In Flint, they’re drinking poison
In Santa Anita, they’re killing horses

The Sun has seen this lonely place
Turn from hell to heavens gates
Far from perfect, we all lack grace
We see nothing when God sees faith

Out in Boulder, they’re drinking Coors
In Sudan, they’re fighting wars
In Quebec, they’re shooting pucks
In Kensington, they’re shooting up

We all drive down different roads
Yet we’re similar I suppose
We laugh and cry and learn and love
We slowly see what we become

In New York, they’re writing plays
In Kuwait, they’re killing gays
On TV, they’re spreading lies
In DC, they’re facing five

We cannot change the hand we’re dealt
Born to nothing or born to wealth
Birthed in freedom or forced to labor
Love has meaning, love is greater

Our hope will always stay the same
No matter what this world became
See death will come for what it raised
But why be scared, that’s just our fate
We live, we breathe, we fade away
Yet leave behind what we create

I look at old pictures and see the person I used to be
I look in my mirrors, and stare back at me uselessly
I just turned 23, thought I’d have it figured out by now
I had a choice when I was 18 and I choose the lonely route
Isolated myself from family and friends
Looked into reflections and played it pretend,
I don’t know why I feel how I do
Ain’t no cliche like ‘I’m missing you’,
Never felt love, I’m a hopeless romantic
My life it lacks meaning, it’s not how I planned it
Help me Lord, help me friend
Please let me see tomorrow’s end
Cuz I’ve been thinking bout calling quits
To close my eyes to all this ****
I’ve hurt myself too many times
And you have hurt me without knowing why,
I am sorry for what I’ve become
I’m still alive because I’m numb
For what I say and what I think
Are miles apart, I’m on the brink
****** rhymes, I feel like Elvis
There’s just one word to describe my life...
And it is ‘helpless’

As I sit inside my room and watch the time go flying by
Kinda wish that it was noon, our football practice starts at 5
I don’t like when I get hit but ‘be a man’ is what I’m told
I watch the clock go ticking by as my life begins to fold
I’m with my friends it should be fun
But butterflies are all I feel
Wearing pads out in the sun
Should not be this big deal

12 years old with anxious thoughts
What if I’m not good? What if I’m not strong?
My momma tells me I’ll be great
But bedroom mirrors lead to hate

On the town a little drunk
Gone from home I’m moving on
Leave my worries behind in childhood rooms
I was a stupid kid, but now I’m grown so **** the blues
But then I see it, there it is
A reflection of my broken face
And now I’m back to nervous times

18 years old with anxious thoughts
Are these my friends? Or am I bombed?
Don’t know what’s it real or what’s fake
There’s no avoiding this burdened fate

Outta school and onto work
First 7-5 without much earned
Sunday night and staring off
And then it hits me all at once
‘What I am doing?’ that is my thought
Life lost its meaning as my body attacks
No physical disease is leading the cause
Just mental fatigue from living so false

22 years old with anxious thoughts
Will I ever be enough? Is living really worth it?
Back inside my childhood room, 10 years gone but all’s the same
I don’t know why I gave these thoughts, there embedded in my brain

I know I’m young I still have time
To right this ship and cut my ties
Controlled by anxiety and don’t know why
Another lonely day with anxious thoughts

This life was never meant for me
I’m filled with pride and jealously
My ego held me back for years
And now I’m left to sitting here,

I thought about leaving it all behind
Just one swift click, won’t say goodbye  
I feel so hopeless and don’t know why
Another day with a mask, or a comforting lie

I met a girl but I’m afraid what I’ll do
I am unstable, don’t wanna damage you
The tough times in the past the lord helped me through
But my faith is shaken with each priest that’s been sued

Religion was never something I loved
It was a chore before Sunday brunch
My innocent love is gone with the wind
My heart has been broken again and again

I keep looking for love in a world that is fleeting
One night stands never have any meaning
Yet why am I tempted by being a fake
Maybe to cope with the mirrors I hate

Chasing love will leave us all alone
Chasing friends will leave us with a phone
Chasing happy leaves an empty soul
Chasing’s why I’m writing on my own

Lying in a room that’s engineered for death
As I try to ignore these thoughts in my head
I don’t think I’m dying, least that’s what the doctor said
But yet I’m still crying in this hospital bed

See love is what we know
Yet hate is what we seek,
So quick to be alone
So slow to live in peace

The thing that makes life so sacred is that it ends

I see the devil inside the people I love
I see a savior inside these dangerous drugs
My first existential crisis, don’t know how I’ll
survive
It made me understand, how we live ain’t alive
Post pictures of the good, ‘likes’ give us false hope
Ignoring how we feel, it’s the only way we cope
Convince ourselves that we’re all stars of our reality show
But really we’re just flawed, and won’t admit we’re alone

Ain’t no man up in the clouds that’s gonna bring us peace
People dying every day, guns are filling the streets
Yet when Sunday comes around, we sit in silence, and preach
Opioid of the masses brings us false security,
Side effects may include: hatred for those that disagree
Please don’t tell me I’m the only one that can see

Pop another pill when we realize it’s fleeting
Gives us hope that life has some ******* real meaning
But really we’re a collection of atoms on a tiny blue dot
And to be honest, no one is as holy as we thought
Jobs made billions off the backs of kids
Madoff acted out of his own self-interest
Ghandi was a hypocrite and mysoginist
Churchill was a ardent white supremacist,
Stalin almost brought the world to nuclear devastation
Einstein made a bomb that wiped out generations
****** oversaw the execution of millions,
Very slim margins separate heroes from villains

Sorry, didn’t mean to burst your bubble
That blue pill is blissful but the red pill is trouble
Propaganda fades away and all you have is reality
At the very least once, every human is bound to see
Life has no meaning, fairytales just don’t exist
There are numerous crises that we won’t outlive
We’re all given an option: either red or blue
The choice is yours, ignorance or truth?

The genius is troubled because he thinks

Everybody’s making plans, but I’m not in them
For this extended weekend, I’ll be all alone
Wasting time on my phone, cuz I’m afraid when it goes dark
All I see is a black mirror, with stranger’s eyes staring back
Unrecognizable to my two green eyes, afraid of what comes next
No wonder I’m not in popular, anxiety and friends don’t mix well
I’ve tried to relate, but I’m afraid of my mind and so are you
Starting to love this state of mind, addicted to the constant panic
Insomniac with a little mania, lay in bed but sleep won’t come
I search for hope inside a world gone mad, haven’t found any yet

I can’t control my emotions
It’s a battle I’ll always fight,
They run deep like the ocean
Keep searching for darkness in light

I seek out problems that aren’t really there
I say I can’t solve em and live in despair
But really I’m lying, I get off on sadness
Chester kept trying but, ‘There’s comfort in panic’

I’m a man that accepts his faults
I’m vulnerable, fragile and soft
I’m wandering around and constantly lost
I’m very far from the person I thought

I never meant for this to happen
I once was a kid that lived free from fear
My apologies, I don’t mean to sound tragic
But my reflection is no longer clear

I don’t know where I’m going, you’ve read that all before
You read because I’m showing, my guts and all it’s gore
I wasn’t used to losing, I’m trying to endure
Coped by just abusing, I don’t go there anymore

My head used to be empty, I was happy with myself
But tougher times were lengthy, took awhile to break the spell
I was trapped inside my mind, losing hope might as well
I was running out of time, that’s what it’s like inside my hell

I’m writing this for purpose, cause I don’t know where that went
Is living really worth it? Never know until we’re dead
Found meaning in my youth, but that is leaving every day
Sun is rising as the proof, life is fleeting no debate

Endless battle with the clock, forcing sleep it never works
When you get inside my thoughts, you will see why I’m concerned
Go from zero to hundred, feeling fine to all alone
Keep my spirit up in public, that is why you’ll never know

I found myself walking streets
On sidewalks that remember me
I was a kid, I lived so free
But now I’m grown and love to leave

I met with friends, we shared a laugh
We reminisced on what we had
On how we were when we were young
Cause we don’t like what we become

The family says I’m still the same
The same I was when I was eight
But they miss out on all this pain
It’s hid behind a happy face

Sometimes I feel that people leave me, move on to a better version
Sometimes I feel that I leave people, now those reasons I’m not certain
I have a binder of excuses, but deep down I know their untrue
Maybe I’m just useless, and a mirror is where I can find the truth

These waves of sadness start as innocent swells
It just takes one little moment, for me to feel this unwell
Could be a bird chirping that reminds me of youth
Then I’m down to my knees, never thought I could feel this blue

Not a main character in this plot, trapped in the background usually
I’ve become all those things I’m not, I miss the way I used to be
This mindset traps me I get caught, but I don’t care truthfully
Starting to feel alone on this dot, but I take solace that it’s blue like me

You know that feeling when you first wake up, when you feel complete weightlessness.
The stress of your morning, your life, and your pain, are completely washed away.
This illusion plays tricks on our minds, while our brain is quick to autocorrect.
It all comes rushing back, as the weight of the world crushes all in its path.

The moon is shining through my window
I think in silence to write this poem
My mind runs wild under the disguise of darkness
Starving for style, as I feed this hungry artist  

Then sounds of screaming consume my thoughts
Just beyond my window, I can hear it trot
Should I feed my curiosity? I ought not
Finally look outside to see a furry red fox

Something about noises in the nighttime, they never fail to disturb
Deeply afraid of what we might find, unveil the curtain to a great unknown
Shades of Beckett with a dose of Hitchcock, as I slowly await for nothing to return
Waitin for the moment I can hear a pin drop, but oh my clock, how it loves to slow

As each night passes, the more certain I am of how little I know
Tricked by those glasses, at a distance even bronze looks like gold
Stock up on rose-colored lens, see the world for only good
But Satan surrounds our broken fences, danger lurks in quiet woods

I fly over Nova Scotia, I swim the ocean blue.
I land in New Orleans and eat Poe Boy or two.
I am not the person people expect me to be.
I'm not warm, I'm not over and I am not in between.
I'm living in my car now, I sold all my stuff.
Not because I needed money, because I had too much.
I'm writing this in a notebook, that no one will ever read.
So why am I still pretending I'm who they'd think I'd be?
I am in between the margins, these words are just me clothes.
That I wear to cover up, what I want no one to know.
Jungle Green, Magenta, and Underwater Blue.
I love every single color, Teardrops + Balloons

I don’t really know this man that I see
I stare in the mirror and feel lost at sea
Nostalgia it kills, I yearn for the past
I just gotta learn, today ain’t that bad
My mind is a cloud with rain coming down
Not building an arc, I think I might drown
Don’t like what I hear, I hate how I sound
Not ‘time’ that I fear, it’s living for now

See I don’t know why, I feel this way
Cuz being depressed, just ***** with my brain
Got all that I need, outside I look great
Dig deep and you’ll see, it runs through my veins
I gave up on happy, wasn’t into the chase
The devil is laughing, oh how easy I break
I’m tempted by evil and listen to snakes
Eat fruit that’s forbidden, that leads to my pain

Can’t quite find a song that relays my message
I’m doing it wrong, my words should be spreading
I write how I feel, for those that need lessons
I hope that it helps, learn at my expenses
I say I want meaning but that has no substance
My life is so fleeting and I am the suspect
Destroy my upbeating, replace it with sorrow
My mind is defeating the need for tomorrow

But I still have hope, guess all of us do
I know you feel pain, I feel it too
The nights can be long, but each day is brand new
I don’t write this for song, I write this for you
This world is insane but calm down, just breathe
Cuz living for now, is all that you need
Don’t live for the highs, where roads to nothing lead
We all know we die, let’s live in between

Started writing how I feel, so I’d channel all this pain
Thought that maybe it would heal, all the **** inside my brain
Being lost became too real, pretending it was just a phase
No way out the doors are sealed, oh the monsters I create

I’m not proud with how I’m coping, it’s the only way I know
Substances run my emotions, welcome to the life of a broken soul
On the outside I look fine, but really that is just a show
‘Scars will heal give it time’ but life is moving way too slow

Patience ain’t a trait of mine, quickly losing all my hope
This life ain’t what I thought, wasting time is al I know
I got voices in my head, I got thoughts I can’t control
I am losing all my friends, guess I’m better on my own

Life is full of two types of people:
Ones that have already been humbled
And ones that are about to be humbled...

Which one are you?

I hide behind a smile, it's as simple as that
My mind is going wild, exposing the cracks
See I long for perfection and hate what I lack
I'm quick to learn lessons but slow to face facts

It is 1:48 am. I am in Flourtown, Pennsylvania or as I like to call it 'home'.
My parents are asleep, my brother is at college. And here I am, by myself again.
See I don't know why I always stay up. I'm terrified of the dark, the great abyss of unknown.
But yet like some abusive relationship, I meet it every night. Those monsters that were in my closet moved to my head.
But they don't scream anymore, they just sit there silently, driving me insane.
I wanna just be numb. Make the feelings I'm afraid to confront disappear. But deep down I know, I'm a ticking time bomb, ready to explode.
See I've been lost for 4 years. I spent college terrified of living.
I didn't know what I wanted to be, I didn't know where I wanted to be, all I knew is I wanted to be home.
I wanted to be in Flourtown, Pennsylvania...

Well here I am.

I write this **** for people like me:

Ones that hide behind a smile and wish they stayed a child
Ones that want to live in peace but can’t avoid broken dreams
Ones that love to help a neighbor but never help themselves
Ones so quick to do a favor but so slow to love themselves

Now here’s the part I should give advice
Tell you how to live a better life
Bad news ahead: I don’t have it
But please don’t view our lives as tragic

Take solace that we feel the pain
Take solace that we can relate
No time for lies, I’m lost tonight
But could be found by morning light

I’ve lived with this pain since I was 18
Best years of my life nowhere to be seen
Waiting for the day I drop the regret
Start living for now and seeing the best

Stuck in a box with a negative mindset
Staring at clocks wondering where the time went
I’m lost in the world but don’t worry about finding
Only I can decide when the sun will be rising

Got demons inside that scream and shout
Keep telling the devil he needs to get out
But hell to me, ain’t a war or a death
Hell to me, is a mirror and my breath

I can’t control the nighttime blues
They make me freeze I cannot move
I try to cope by smoking ****
Cuz lately I’ve been losing sleep

Relive the day inside my head
Regret things I should of said
Close my eyes and try to breathe
To no avail, I’m losing sleep

Plan a life I’ll never live
Wish that I had thicker skin
Need a cure for anxiety
But until then, I’m losing sleep

Want to cry but built up walls
Numb inside and missed God’s calls
I know He’ll help me with my grief
But I’m in hell and losing sleep

Life's been known to knock us down
Lay us flat on the ground
But when you lose your faith and hope
Just recall childhood jokes

When we were kids we never cared
About our wallet size or hair
Learned that life is all fun
Playing games til we lose the sun

But some things change as we grow
Giving up on all those impossible goals
We all want to shoot for the stars
But only few make it that far

I wish I lived a little more
Didn't care if I hit the floor
But failure brings me down so low
Forget that it's the only way to grow

And when I leave my childhood home
I'm not certain where I'll go
It's so scary to be
Confident in my hopes and dreams

And when my flaws overwhelm
I will leave them on the shelf
Because I know I can be
Happy alone so perfectly

I never got why we stop
Only living half the life that we want
We should learn opportunity
Come and goes so quickly

So when you get scared of the moment
Just remember it may only come once
I must learn that life's not a movie
And happy endings aren't a guarantee

Wanna go back to the days at the pool
Just a quiet kid following the rules
I lost all my brothers after high school
I was sucha **** fool

Now I got all these problems
Thought being alone would solve em
There all piling up one by one
Starting to forget how to have fun

Tryna figure out who I wanna be
In this so called land of the free
Feel like dropping all my responsibilities
There too much of a liability

Tried to go live and be myself
But pain was all I felt
My true me kept up on a shelf
Tryna throw away the cards I was dealt

I'm physically able
Emotionally unstable
Constantly being labeled

Losing sight of the shoreline
Keep telling myself give it more time
Everything will be fine
Thats just another white lie

Lost in the ocean
Lost my devotion  
Too much emotion
Might start smoking
Need something to help me with coping

We see the world from a rectangle
Gotta get the selfie from the right angle
We're all living life virtually
Nothing's done purposefully

We see the world from a rectangle
Gotta get the selfie from the right angle
We're all living life virtually
Nothing's done purposefully

Social media's creating divides
Selling millions on ******* lies
Zuckerburg is one messed up guy

He claims we're connected
But last time I checked, I don't feel love from a Facebook message

Post post post
Gloat gloat gloat
Til **** gets real
And you remember how you feel

It's so easy to hide behind my phone
Telling myself if I get 100 likes how could I be alone?
Technology is turning me into a drone

Sleepless nights
Battling myself with all my might
Just wanna cue the lights
Without having to fight,

Don't know what I'm worried about anymore
Tend to push some people that love me straight out the door,
I gotta problem, I admit it
And that's why I'm still awake in the dead of night, isn't it?

Not taking a risk is what cowards do
And I guess I'm just one of the few,
Cuz it seems to me everybody else got their **** figured out
Hiding behind a phone in a virtual crowd
Facebook Twitter Insta ya see
I've rarely seen someone's life look better than from a screen,

In high school I swore I had my **** figured out
Til I got to college and ******* broke down
Pushed away most of my friends somehow
All because of my own ******* self-doubt

But god ****** I think I'm on the right track now
Making some good strides and I oughta be proud
Cuz a year ago, I wanted to throw it all out

I felt lost and alone
In a place I refused to call home,
Talking to my mom everyday
Didn't take the pain away,
And I felt better when I was numb
What the **** did I become

But now I'm able to see
I got no problems just being me
And I don't wanna impress anybody from their screens
No matter how hard it may be
I'm just tryna chase my dreams

Tell myself to not care
But that really ain't too fair
Cuz there's a beauty to feel
It reminds you your real

I have no clue what the future holds
But I'll try my best to be bold
Look up to the sky
Waiting for a sign from the big guy
But I get nothing, is my foundation all a lie?

Tell people to be themselves
And I keep mine on a shelf
Afraid to be fully exposed
Like Kim in that ******* pose

I've given being myself plenty of tries
But life taught me it's easier to hide
Just wanna say my side
Told myself I'd do it a million times
Afraid I might die
And keep it inside

My attraction is technically a sin
Feeling totally locked in
Just cuz my love don't align with the doctrine

I'm hardly the first and won't be the last
And I know it's difficult to grasp
But I've come so far to let this opportunity pass

I like a little bit of both
Don't view myself as more courageous than most
Just sick of living a lie
I've been in love with a girl
And I've been in love with a guy
I guess u could call me bi