as she spiralled down the rabbit hole
expecting wonderland
yet frightened she was
in the world of the aces

as the daisies began to wither
and the cakes now tasted bitter
doomed, her mind became
the list of impossible things was nothing but a card game

‘’off with her head!’’
she heard, faintly in the distance

mad had she become
and numb she went
in her wonder-turned-waste land

on the platform i stand
waiting for the midnight train to Paris
the wind brings with her
a sweet strawberry scent
i follow its lead
and am met with a pair of emerald eyes
carefully studying my complexion
i look away
a soft rosy colour on my cheeks appears

i can count the stars reflecting in your eyes
it brings joy to my heart
you give me a soft smile
as i return it
your eyes light up
as beautiful as the moonlight
gleaming over the water

my tears had dried out
like Sahara’s dessert
Oases no where to be found

as I lay there
almost alone
With company; the stars

‘what can be done?’
‘to one who can drop no more?’
The void did not answer

while moonlight gleamed over my self
i cried out for help
But it had lost its way

lonely I had become
so I was now
‘could it get worse?’

I was testing it’s limits

The darkness under my eyes
reveals for the observant
my ongoing struggle of
the way of going, being and finding
for the majority it is yet concealed
under a mask I appear
looking bluntly bliss

Around me is a cycle
spinning worlds all over
dazed and confused I turn
as lightning it hits
leaving a burned inside
with tension through the veins
I lay struck but awake

Chaos in my head
i’ve been feeling no regret
just chaos
chaos in my head

for a long time i have silently shun
not wanting to know what was there
avoiding that feeling out of place

being the omega
yet aspiring for the alpha

time has drastically changed
i feel more in place

but now this ache emerges
heading to my inner me
framing an image
something unlike i
picturing a fright
of this undesirable oblivion
remodeled into the mediocre masses

aware i am this will pass by
frankly speaking,
this angst brings determination
eventually leading to me
now with ongoing inspiration

chaos brings me balance

As lost I was
Deep in my sea
Thin as glass
In search for some flee

For a while I was there
Finding everything but air
All things I was seeing
And meanwhile my void was feeding

There was not much left to eat
Just me on this sinking fleet
‘Must this all go on?’
‘It is not even what I long’

What did I have?
Slowly the bucket was filling
Could I even laugh?
All my thoughts were drilling

And there rainfall came
Filled then overflown
It was the end of the game
I started recapturing my throne