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451 · May 2019
To My Friends
JG May 2019
I'm sorry you have to  hear me complain about my life
I'm sorry that I'm not a silent person
I'm sorry I speak my mind
but if you truly care
if you really are my friends, you would listen

I'm braking and I need help
trying not to cut again
but it's getting harder to deal with the pain

the drama,
the names I get called,
my own mother makes me feel worthless
but no one helps me
I try to stay strong
but I can only try for so long
370 · May 2019
Im Tired
JG May 2019
I'm tired of the pain.
I'm tired of the name calling because I'm different.
I'm tired of feeling worthless like I don't matter.
I'm tired of people telling me it gets better.
I'm tired of trusting people than they stab me in the back.
I'm tired of living.
I'm tired of everyone yelling at me.
I'm not perfect I'm sorry but I thought I would still be loved.
I'm tired of you telling me I'm alright.
You don't know what I'm going through so stop judging me.
If you ever need anybody to talk to I'm here
318 · Feb 2020
The Rope
JG Feb 2020
She pictures her death,
The rope hung on a tree.
The words you said,
The lies you've told,
The rumors you spread,
The hurtful thought you put in her head,
They all become the rope.
This is everyone's fault,
the people she asked for help,
And told her "you're fine",
The people who hurt her the most.
It all becomes the rope,
The rope she uses to end her own life.
263 · Dec 2019
Forever
JG Dec 2019
I can't wait to feel your lips on mine
To be in your arms
To see you, face to face
To cuddle with you.

I want to spend forever with you,
To be able to wake up next to you,
To be to go to sleep beside you every day,

I want you forever.
Your insecurities,
Your messes,
I want it all if I can have u.
To have Your beautiful face to wake up to.
I love all and everything about you.
189 · May 2019
What If?
JG May 2019
What if I told I like you?
Would you stop talking to me?
Would you stay with her?
Would you hate me?

What if I told you I like it when you hold my hand?
Would you laugh?
Would you smile?
Would you call me crazy?
Or would you grab my hand?

What if?
I ask my self
should I tell you?
Or should I hide it?
178 · Mar 2019
my feelings
JG Mar 2019
Sometimes I have a waterfall flowing
from my eyes.While my happiness is towing
far from view
Never knowing when it's due
Or if it will come back
As if someone gave it a smack

Sometimes I’m as happy as a rainbow
I feel like the star of the show
Skipping through the heavens
Hoping it never ends


Other times I’m an angry bull
When my mind is too full
And I don't know what to do
Just wanting to feel new
169 · Mar 2019
my mask
JG Mar 2019
You see me smile thinking its real
Im crying on the inside and holding back tears
No one knows how I really feel
I’m tired of hiding all these fears
I just wanna be free
I don't wanna fight anymore
Can I just flee?

I'm scared and i just wanna disappear
I don’t wanna hurt anymore
Im dying on the inside
The pain is the only thing proving im alive
I say i'm fine but i lie
You see what i want you to see
When im alone thats when I cry

When people feel alone I try to help
People think its because its who i am
I help because i know how it feels
I fight and fight but for what?
More pain
More heartbreaks
I’m sorry I give up
153 · Jan 2020
The Truth
JG Jan 2020
People say depression is a  fake smile,
You say “I’m fine” when you’re not,
That’s not the whole truth.
They say anxiety makes you feel worthless,
It does but that’s not the whole truth.
Depression is when you feel sad a lot,
Its when the simplest thing can break you.
You’re too tired to do anything.
Anxiety is feeling worthless,
Or like no one loves you,
Or no one cares,
No matter how hard you try to tell your self you matter,
Anxiety gives fake evidence that no one cares.
Anxiety makes you worry,
It makes you do many things.
And having both is complete hell.
149 · Apr 2019
Look at me
JG Apr 2019
Look at me not my mask
Look at my eyes, not my smile
If you take a moment you will see my tears
My fear is no one will ever notice
But i hope someone does
Until then I’ll fight

But one day I will quit
I'm already to the point where i'm crying every day
But no one notices
I feel like I'm invisible
I have people there for me
but they don't see my tears

I have finally broken
I need someone who understands
Someone who cares
Someone i can trust

Look at me
I'm broken yet you don't see
You let me fool you
My fake smile
Maybe i have gotten so good at hiding my tears they can’t be found by anyone
147 · Mar 2020
Anger
JG Mar 2020
My pain has become anger,
Im angry at myself,
Im angry at the world,
You hurt me,
And got away with it,
You got to make me feel pain,
You got to take all my happiness,
You took my joy.

Im tired of letting you win,
I wanna make you feel the pain I feel,
Im done,
goodbye
143 · Feb 2020
Untitled
JG Feb 2020
She cries,
The day becomes a blur,
She begs for death,
She hurts,
She's in pain,
The scars on her wrist,
She imagines her death,
She doesn't wanna feel the pain anymore.
She lies,
Wears a fake smile,
She hates life,
She hates everyone,
Everyone is leaving her,
Only 14 and wants to die.
140 · Apr 2019
What you see
JG Apr 2019
She walks slow through the halls
Try hard not cry
Her thoughts are driving her crazy
She’s scared
She’s hurt
She’s dying slowly

When she is at home she cries alone
She hides
She don’t trust her self with anything sharp
She scared of what she might do
She was a cutter
She has stopped for now

Her mom always works and makes her feel worthless
She has been abanded not once but twice
She’s scared of trusting people
She dont want to fight anymore

She feels fat
She feels worthless
She feels ugly
She feels stupid
She feels hopeless
She feels like she doesnt belong on earth
She hates life
She feels like giving up
She want to be able to wake up with a smile
To be able to think about happy things
To be happy
To wear a real smile
To be what she used to be

This girl your reading about she is me
Im scared and im screaming help
No hears me though
HELP ME PLEASE
139 · May 2019
You Don't See
JG May 2019
When I hold your hand I'm not being friendly.
When you say her name you don't see my jealousy.
When I go to you because I'm hurt I trust you.
there is something I want to to tell you but I can't,
Because you are with her I can't tell you I have feelings for you.

She hurt me and I don't want her to hurt you.
I tell you everything,
You're more beautiful than a pearl.
As I sit here and write this you're in front of me,
But you don't realize that I Love You.
sorry I'm just feeling this way as my crush/bff sits in front of me
130 · Mar 2020
Because of you
JG Mar 2020
How is it fair I'm stuck in the past,
how is it fair that you get to move on,
I can find some else sure,
but I won't love them as much as I love you.

How is it fair that you dont get to take the pain,
why am I the one who gets hurt,
why do I have to lose everything I love,
why do I have to be the one that cries myself to sleep,
all because I love you.

Why did you lie to me,
you promised forever,
then you left,
said you'd wait,
but now you dont love me.
and how am I the bad person for telling how I feel,
I feel hurt,
I feel betrayed,
you lied,
so *******.
115 · Dec 2019
6 minutes
JG Dec 2019
She laid with her head in the water,
The voices kept repeating,
"6 minutes,
6 minutes,
6 minutes.
Over and over again.
The scariest part is,
It takes 6 minutes to drown.
She pulls her head out of those thoughts,
But the voices bring her back,
6 minutes,
6 minutes,
6 minutes.
109 · Jan 2020
Sad Reality
JG Jan 2020
This is the sad reality,
She cries in front of everyone,
But no one notices,
No cares.
Shes abused,
Not physically but emotionally.
She never knew,
How sad is that,
How sad is the truth,
That she’s broken.

No one tells her they love her,
She doesn’t want to live this reality.
But this is it.
This is her reality.

She sits silently in the classroom,
Tries her hardest not to cry,
The voices tell her,
She’s not good enough,
Lies go threw her head.
Hurtful words slip in,
She tries to ignore it,
But it is hard.
She believes the voices,
She knows it true.
She barely eats,
She can’t sleep,
She hates being home,
The screaming,
The abuse,
She cant handle it.

— The End —