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Scratched
Worn
Splintered  
Torn
I hang on
But who knows how long

This piece of driftwood
In the open—raging sea
Pummeling me and this driftwood
Far away from land
In a surging storm
Me at to rip away the weak

I try so much
I cry all day
I beg for mercy
On most of my days
This pain
The nausea
The dizzy spells
All the times I *****
Because I can’t keep things down

Or how about my anxiety
My hallucinations too
It’s not fair
That the medication isn’t doing
what it’s supposed too

I try and try
But I fail and fall
And I collapse
So much
Ive fainted before

If you ask me if
“Im alright”
I’ll say “Im fine”
And move on with my life
Because no matter
What I have to keep fighting
I know that Theve tried
I know there trying
But what there doing isn’t enough
And I’m hurting

So here I am
On a driftwood out to sea
Fighting brutal storm
Pushing me
I don’t know the last time
I was free

But
At least I know
I have energy left
To keep up the mask
And I know that in this space
I can be me
And spill out
My battles

Like this painful
Ride
Whitch I will try
To fight
And let myself be me
Sorry for my bad grammar..I was crying the whole time I wrote this…
And this..has led to at least some relief..thank you to those who care about my work— i appreciate you all. <3
I know how life is
People always let you down
Yet , the world still turns
I read a book once-
a story so captivating I couldn’t put her down.
Her edges grew tattered, her pages creased.
I etched my name into her front cover
so long ago you can barely see it.
I recite her words to myself even when she isn't near,
My favorite pages covered in notes only in my mind because I'd never ruin her that way,
Her paper so worn,
it’s as if I sharpened a blade that now cuts my fingers,
simply because I refused to stop reading.
I read a book once-
a story so captivating
I couldn’t accept its ending,
so I reread her, again and again,
like my heart could change the ink.
I think it's time to read another book
You’re closer now (in my waters?)
Yet, here I am
Lodged
between a rock and a hard place
just a little pebble
ticking away time in wishes
watching as the sun
rises, sets and years progress
Observing ocean tides
rise then gently recede…
Until one frigid night
intense & wild king currents
washed me out to sea
Lost in sand and sea-grass
as waves rock to & fro
watching ***** scuttle by
or snatched as eagles dive from the sky
Now I, like those hapless *****, aimless;
Never to rest on your welcome shores;
Remain, lodged
in these capriciously shifting sands of time
while you catch a connecting flight
Away
prompted by a photo of a rock, suspended, held precariously between 2 boulders as the sun set over the silent seas behind it. The smaller rock was since dislodged & the boulders shifted by a king tide last winter.
At the end of a path where no voices reside,
I walked where the dusk and the silence collide.
A flicker of light called soft from afar,
Like death in the shape of a delicate star.

I followed the gleam with no map in hand,
Each step was a whisper, each breath was unplanned.
Carved in my skin were questions I hide,
Written in scars that I wear from inside.

I dug through the dust in the cracks of my chest,
Hoping to find where the aching could rest.
I tasted the rope, the cliff, and the sea,
Each one a door that might set me free.

There’s a hallway ajar but it leads to no place,
An echo that weeps in the shape of my face.
The sky doesn't answer, the moon only stares,
As I try to dissolve in the weight of my prayers.

This isn't a plea, nor a scream for the light,
Just the rhythm of lungs forgetting to fight.
And maybe, one night, I'll quietly learn—
How to leave without leaving, how to never return.
You think it’s magic,
like I was born with glitter in my veins,
You chase the shine,
but darling, envy leaves a darker stain.

Your life's a script with no direction,
a plotless play, a sad distraction.
You sneer at me from shadowed seats,
but I’m the show; the main attraction.

The lights adore me,
my heels are power on this stage,
While you sit there bitter,
burning with a secondhand rage.

You crave the crown,
but couldn’t stand the weight,
So here you pout,
a hater dressed in stolen fate.

Applause rains down like sweet seduction,
while you dissolve in self-destruction.
Watching from the balcony tonight
you’ll never reach this kind of high.
Our eyes met that gloomy day,
And I immediately knew
It had been another time another place
I had always loved you

Lives we lived together
Spanning since the dawn of time
Energy of us tethered
Two souls intertwined.

Soulmates don't always work out as planned
Life gets in the way.
Things just aren't so grand
And our path isn't paved.

Is it wrong to crave a soul?
Is it wrong to lust for the past?
And to long for someone you've always known?
Wishing love forever lasts.
Warm days
Cool hearts
Fresh starts
Silence once.
     Stood
Unspoken words
Softly calmness
Across the oceans
Silence
Love confused
Caught in a fire
Blaze too deep
Sought companionship
Unspoken words
Left with a puzzle mind
It was hard to find
Answers of silence
Warm days
Cool hearts
Fresh starts
Silence once stood
Unspoken words
Warm days
To the caged eye a keyhole can whisper of the sky.
Because even the smallest crack lets the universe in.
Pondering about how the concept of infinity and eternity affect us. Maybe this is how we try to relate to the idea of God?
Infinity offers power.
Eternity offers home.
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