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 Oct 2018 Imari Stevens
Noone
I saw her posting pictures of you two together today,
I don't know what happened to me after that
I could feel it, in my stomach, in my chest
I don't know what it was
Was it jealousy? Was it rage?

A series of questions are torturing my brain now
Why her? Why not me?
Am I not pretty than her?
Am I not beautiful than her?
Am I not girl enough?

I  surely don't know how to curl my lashes
I don't know how to fix my eyebrows
Can't walk on heels, Can't put on makeup
Never wore a skirt, never even an earring

But I know what makes you smile,
You like to get drunk on *****,
And sing Ed Shereen
You like to dance like crazy
You call it your "drunk dance"

Your eyes become wet when you yawn
And You don't like the freckles on your shoulder
You like pizza, But won't eat it
I don't wanna get fat you say

You have your way of kissing too
My style you call it,
when our tongues touch just for nanoseconds
And you pull yourself away

You like it when I give you a hickie
You'll check in the mirror if it is blue enough
You like running your fingers down my spine
"I love your curves", you tell me
"Your skin is so soft and you smell so pure"

You like sharing your toothbrush
You like hiding my clothes
You like closing your eyes and expecting me to kiss you
And when I don't , I can see the cute disappointment in your smile

You like chocolates 200%
You like gifts like a girl
Birthdays excite you like a child
And you can't watch a horror movie at night

Are these all phony?
The things you said to me, the things we did together
If so, you are quite an actor
And if I could, I would nominate you for an award
An award for the best teller of the untruths.....
That's what you are, a LIAR
 Oct 2018 Imari Stevens
Noone
Why is moving on so hard?
A day, A week, A month
And again I go back to the start
I promise I don' t love you anymore
I promise I don't hate you anymore
I promise I don't feel a thing anymore
But again, Why is moving on so hard?
 Oct 2018 Imari Stevens
Noone
Sure I can't force it
But I also can't help it
The things I feel for you
This undying feeling
Torturing my heart...
Oh I m sorry,
I dont have a heart
I had one...
You forgot to return it back
When you left....
 Oct 2018 Imari Stevens
Noone
Go on, show that you own him
Post pictures on social media
Depicting stories of how madly you're in love
But no, he can never be yours
Because its his soul that I have held captive...
You may lure him to bed
With all the skills that you have
**** him to his heart's content
But remember, I am a memory he can't erase
I m gonna live in him forever
You think he loves you, dont you?
Oh poor girl... how naive you are
He is trying to find me in you
But I promise, he wont be able to
 Oct 2018 Imari Stevens
Noone
You don't know how many times I have erased the texts I wanted to send you...

"Hey!"

" Hey! Can we talk?"

"Hi, How have you been?"

" I miss you.. Do you miss me too?"

" I heard a song today. It reminded me of you.."

" I found a new place to eat. The coffee they serve is great..."

"Can we meet? I want to see you..."

"Can I call you? I just want to hear your voice...."

"I am sorry."

"I am sorry. Can we start over again?"

" We gave up too soon, too easily. I want to give us another chance."

" I feel restless. I need you.."

" I m scared. Please tell me it'll be okay..."

" I love you. Please come back..."
 Oct 2018 Imari Stevens
Noone
I know my texts don't excite you anymore,
But you are polite enough to reply it anyway
And if I call you, you'll receive it too
But I know you cringe when you hear my voice
Just for the night , you needed me
Just for that one night
The night's already over
But I m not over you yet

I remember everything, so clearly in my head
How beautifully you sang, & I sang along with you
How you made me laugh, laugh & laugh so hard
How you held my hands & we tried to dance
How your lips blew life to my cold and dry spirit
How the butterflies in my stomach fluttered
How my cheeks turned crimson and I looked away
But you kept on staring at me
Like  you wanted to fall in love...

I did not undress my body that night,
I undressed my soul
I put it right in front you
Just in its purest form
I let you see me,
See all my imperfections
I told you all my fears,
The secrets I hid inside,
I thought this is it,
This is what I had been looking for,
My soul was happy
And thought it had found "THE ONE"

Little did I know, it was only for the night
Just for that one night
So tell me who do I blame?
Blame you for setting up my hopes high
Or blame me for believing the truth like lie
Or should I just blame the night?
The night for lasting just awhile.......
Honestly, I am barely surviving without you
I now get that it never stops hurting
And all I can think of is how you look in the moonlight
How your lips were cold and slow
How my ribcage broke the moment you pulled me closer
You are alive in every corner of my mind
Feels ***** yet powerful
And I kinda love it

I can't really be alone at night
So I search for slow cold lips and knowing hands
Pain in the chest. I connect you with pain. The good kind.
I summon you at night.
Whatever I touch I leave numb
Today it became crystal clear why no one has ever wanted me
I drag so much bagage
and am constantly followed
by demons I gave birth to

In fact some would say
It's a good common sense
to stay as far away from me as possible
Yes, maybe my fingers have the potential to do magic in the light or in the dark, doesn't matter if you are the right one
But is that all you are looking for?
Because, for once I'd rather be the full course than the cold leftover
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