I’m not going so say it again
But you know what this is about.
I don’t know why I keep feeling this way.
I wish I could stop

i dislike poems,
they welcome memories of you to waltz in my mind.
i loathe poems,
they make me reminisce every encounter with you.
i abhor poems,
they never fail to make me maudlin; pity myself.
i curse them,
i have unfollowed nearly every poetry accounts on instagram yet they still appear in my feed.
right,
then it hits me that i still am following some poetry accounts.
why?
because i enjoy self-pitying, victimising myself.
and?
i like to reminisce about the past.
not to mention,
the memories of you are irreplaceable.

11:58

your birthday
is away by two
silent minutes

11:59

I want to
wish you. I really do.
there's this hurt
which makes me
doubt everything
which has happened.

12:00
12:01
12:02
12:03

keeping all
the pain aside
I breathe slowly.

s l o w l y typing the
letters.

I shouldn't think about you

I do

I want you to think about me too

I saw you in my dream
Is that okay
I'll ask for your permission

I shouldn't think of you


I do

I do

I hope you do too

I think you like me a lot less than I like you. I'm trying to balance my feelings, but I get really happy around you. I think it annoys you. I think you're mad at me. I'm trying so hard to get you to like me. Maybe that is why you get annoyed. I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry. I just want you to be happy.

so I noticed that we both drink coffee.
just like anyone, we both like ours a certain way.
i like mine sweeter, with just the aftertaste of coffee there.
caramel, sugar, creamer.
i think about when i’ll have my next cup, and the idea of it alone makes me happy.
i don’t care what time of day i have it, i almost always have a cup.
i make time for my coffee.
it might be safe to say i think you like your coffee black.
you might add just the smallest touch to soften its bitter taste, but never too much.
sometimes i think you just pour it and carry on, as though it’s nothing important at all.
as though all it is, is just some quick fix.
like you just want to get it over with.
we drink it in two different ways.
i drink it slowly.
i note every flavor in every sip, i enjoy it.
i note the warmth it brings me.
i like it all hours of the day.
you drink it quickly.
quicker than me, at least.
you don’t care if it burns your tongue, or perhaps you’re used to the pain.
you accept it.
you never let it last, you move on to something else soon after.
i lay in your bed, watching your eyes as they skim the screen in front of you.
your mind is somewhere else.
i savor the moments you look my way, if even for a second, and smile at me.
i wonder if you even notice them.
i feel your laugh vibrate my bones, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
do i make you feel at all?
i reflect on it every time i drink my coffee.
i think about it with each and every sip, taking my time.
something tells me that you don’t do the same.
after all, it's just coffee.
but i put my all into this coffee.
i think you like your coffee black.

People like you die young, she said
You don't drink, don't
do drugs, eat healthy, rarely
go out, rarely meet new girls

But you keep on writing, boy, you
keep on writing
and that's enough to outweigh
all the above

You'll see