Deep thoughts packaged in pretty phrases.
My mind a hostage to fear.
A dark room filled with  stagnant thoughts.
Memories crouching in a corner
Stark
Painful reminders.

Hands like vices
****** to keep control.
Let it go. Let it go.

It's of my own creation
this cage in which I reside.
The door stands open
Waiting.
A way out
A way to let my mind soar
warmth of freedom.

Let it go. Let it flow
through me
fill my mind
my mouth full of the sweetness.

Rushing rushing
tumbling out.
here it is
here I am.

Untethered, unfettered
Free.

Your rage
your fears
coalesce into crystalline form.
Wrapped like a chrysalis around a timid heart.
Bruised and Battered
Emotion shuttered away
batten it down again looming threats.

Peering in I ask
won't you come out to play
to live?

The only reply a hollowness of echoes.
Your wounds
your misgivings a hardened shell.
Hidey hole.

I search for a trace of you
the soul that left kisses of blue skies smeared along my breast.
Shouting to you
we were made of stardust
you and I.
Created to dance along clouds of silver linings.

Silence
heavy and dripping.

Humans were never meant to be turtles.
My statement.
My affirmation.

But the only reply I receive are echoes
memories of blue skies.
You are too deep in the shell to hear
perhaps you never cared to.

one, two
buckle your shoes

three four,
open the doors

five, six
seven more tricks

nine and ten,
writing in pen

eleven, twelve,
don't hurt yourself

thirteen, fourteen
fifteen years

sixteen, seventeen
eighteen pills

nineteen, twenty
and thirty will ****


I promise, sweetheart,
you'll be beautiful

so come on sing with me:

one, two,
three more pounds


a couple more,
you’ll be **safe
and sound

Close my eyes
Just for a second
Time flies
The past is beckoned

Colorful leaves
Cover the trees
When they start to fall
You usually leave

But not this time
We have made it this far
Maybe this is a sign
That we'll have forever this time

Open my eyes
Wish on a star
Smile deep on the inside
And be happy for where we are

Inside my head is
like the storming of the Bastille,
it's kind of unreal, but the noise
is immense,
cells being ransacked, thoughts being
hijacked,
if feels like I'm packing a service revolver
with the barrel aimed square at my eyes.

Wednesday's alway begin with the feeling that
I have been broken into,
in two,
and I always knew that they would.

These walls tumble down and the crown I once wore is no more,
the eyes see it all as I fall and I still fall as if I never learned anything at all.
In the Bastille and I can't even speak French, someone says, (probably me)
'not much of a wrench then to leave then, is it?'

I can't answer that one, my mind is too far gone and
Wednesday drops its bomb
as I wake.

They summons me.
Henry and
the chancery are trying to
dismantle me.

Treason's not the reason for this recall
to the great hall,
they want to quarter me,
hang and draw and slaughter me
I think I'd rather not see,
Henry
or the chancery.

Inequity,
dividing wealth from poverty which
breeds a new society or so
they keep on telling me.

They're all hell bent on making cuts,
shutting doors on those like me,
writing letters, can't you see
Henry and his chancery are
closing opportunity, destroying what
it is to be,
and to be is what it's all about.

My mom would give me give me a steak to remove the ache
My brother would give me a game to remove my pain
My father would give me a crown to remove my frown

Each family member has made me smile
For each of them I have a vile
Fulled with love

Each family member has a spot in my heart
For being playing a part
In my life