in the mirror*
I loved you alone
I missed you before
I want you calm
I drown you discreetly
I loathe you endlessly
I need you first
I remember you greatly
I see you hiding
I call you indignity
I cuss you justly
I think you kidding
I have you lone
I forgive you momentarily
I wish you nothing
I hate you openly
I bind you permanently
I doubt you quickly
I trust you recklessly
I hurt you spitefully
I know you too
I find you useless
I leave you voiceless
I declare you worthless
I vote you XL
I give you yourself
I will you zealous
I always see you number 2

Sometimes,
I lose track
and find myself wondering
and I find it hard
to convince myself to come back

I love the places off the path
care free days
no trying to swim
in a boiling bath

but, my mother groans
and my father laughs
they say stay on the road
and all my sorrows and woes
settle back, deep in my bones

In the land of silk
goods traded hands-
cotton, ivory, wool, gold, and silver -
down one stretch of land

a down side to this trade
that led to much disarray
was the bandits and disease
that also traveled this way

One day I decided
to walk out that door
and see what places the word had in store
I traveled to and fro
for years on end
but somehow, someway
I always recalled this place
I remember how i left
without uttering a word
and disappeared faster
than a frightened bird
i regretted it so that i returned
but, and i swear upon my word.
that they-
they forget all about me
and took down my picture

Happiness never seems to ******* last
in the future,
in the past.
happiness never seems to care its left too early
happiness is a ***** that leaves you hanging
then stabs you in the chest
and claims that it's all for the best
in conclusion:
happiness is a ******* *******
but a loveable *** at that

My days have been all cloud and no sun
like a ribbon from a single young woman,
who's love was fresh
who's hope was right beside her
who's pride was in her friendly appearance
torn and tattered in the winds of change
chaos rains within a shattered heart

But time has tore away all the love in her soul
broken promises have ****** out all her hope
lies, betrayals, misused trust have turned her pride to dust
the wall has grown all around her
darkness in on her
pressing down upon a weakened young woman,
driving her to hidden tears
to hidden anger fits
but she's stronger than she looks

you would never believe this of this young lady
if you saw her
if you spoke to her
a long time ago you may have saw it in her eyes
but now she's mastered the art of the mask
she's mastered the art of hiding
of building walls
of not crying no matter what

she didn't shed a tear when her auntie died
she didn't let even one fall when the nightmares came for her
just like she knew they would from loving
she didn't tear up when her world was broken in one short summer
no she's not cold she's just acting cold
she wants you to think she is
so you won't become another reminder
of how much love is an enemy
cuz its kinder to let her heart go without love
than to tease it with the possibility of love

Poets write sad
poets write happy
but what do we do
when two points of view
come crashing to?
why we write and write some more
till we can write no more
for joy brings pain
and pain brings joy
the balance isn't there
so how can a poet help
but be gay?