My whole life
I felt so much shame in my whole being
like I was born wrong
that everything about me was so wrong
because I was born into a family
where I never recieved love attachment or true joy
where I was always picked on bullied and harrassed by
pretty much everyone in my life.
Where everytime I felt my dysphoria
I felt wrong
Iike it was wrong to feel like a girl
but wanna be a boy at times ...
but now that I am healing myself
I see that there is nothing wrong with who I am
that I am beautifully made
and that I am just different in my own way
and that is beautiful ,
I am a person who thinks for myself
who has always questioned it all
and that's why I was able to leave a super opressive religion
and hometown.
It's been my saving grace.
Someone who is super creative
who has a super big heart and soul
who feels so many many things
so when others even in a well intended way
try to tell me that I am non binary or something like that
or queer,
the labels don't feel like they  fit me,
because I am who I am
and I don't like labels,

I am learning to not  judge myself
but to just accept myself,

that I have a right to exist
to live a good beautiful life
of my own choosing
to learn that I am powerful by just being me
by just existing,
and that there was never anything wrong with me
I AM Who I AM.

In another life,
may the one with genuine heart
receive more than one gives.

In another life,
may the heart healer
find peace one has been longing for.

In another life,
may the heart breaker
taste one's own actions.

In another life,
may we know each other better,
giving all to understand,
rather than arguments.

In another life,
may we find each other
as soul mates,
not heart healer and heart breaker.

Sincerely,
Jia.

this day is grey
inside and out

There’s a shadow

Poking at my thigh

Trying to take attention

Away

From my mind

Not to reality

But somewhere unrefined

And Opposite of divine

Can you hear it call out

Sideways in time

Three different perspectives

Of the same scene

And

Their all upside down nines

I cannot lose what fills
   my heart more than blood
   my lungs more than air
   myself more than me