Writhing, violent rebellion
Systems shutting down
Uncontrollable behavior
Powerless, I frown

Fresh wounds by the second
Digesting razor blades
Flickering old habits
Born of old flames

Shredding softest weakness
Corroding iron strength
Nothing will escape
Mind snaps, and bends

Healing salve corrupted
Swallow all the same
Eradicates stomach lining
Emptiness becomes pain

Consciousness cradled
Craven slumber, debased
Maybe this time

Maybe - !

Maybe not.

You were the reason why this was so painful
For you could not see that I was not simple

I was placid and deep
Like the wine you'd drink
Before you fell asleep

I was gentle and mellow
Like the whispers we shared
Under sturdy pine's shadow

I was fire and passion
Like the wars we waged
Our tongues colliding, clashing

And I was firm and unending
Like the long road ahead
My perseverance, unbending

My mistake, my benediction;
Why could I not see
That you were my Armageddon?

Recorded my goodbye
a whole month ago.
I dropped that heavy word
but now, I just don't know.

Because if I had ****d you,
Wouldn't I have fought?
Wouldn't I have bitten back,
Against the end you wrought?

And if I had ****d you,
Wouldn't I have tried?
To swallow your friendship,
Even knowing that you lied?

These questions seize me,
And rattle my spine.
Brand me ashamed,
As though I crossed a line.

And then it floods back:
My certainty, my rage;
That howl of grief...

If this was not ****, nothing is.