I never professed to be pretty
certainly not beautiful
and okay so...
babies don't actually cry when they look at me
But..
I know what I am
what I look like
you don't have to remind me
Yes.. I'm awkward
I mess up my words
I'm shy until I know you a little better
But..
Do you notice I find it hard to look you in the eye?
I thought not
Do I wish the ground would swallow me whole
more than once a day?
You bet
So.. I'm not really comfortable in my own skin
I know that..
But I refuse to have a thick skin
to man up and to take it on the chin
with or with out a pinch of salt
I refuse to be like you
I don't want to be hard hearted and cynical
and I also don't want to brush off your comments
like they are nothing to me
Because every word you said
every thing you implied
I have thought of myself too
all the time
everyday
And if what you said hurts me
then so be it
But that also means I am not like you
I would rather be me
awkward
self conscious
scared
a great big bag of what if's
But ultimately happy
I care
I want to do better
I love
I am soft
I have passion and dreams
(okay, so weird ones sometimes)
but I won't make fun of you
and if I like you I will tell you
and I will remind you that I love you
You don't know what I have seen
and have been through
You don't know what happened to me
because you don't know me at all
So don't judge me on what you see
judge me on what you know
And by what I know of you
I'm just glad I am me
I wrote this a few years ago.
I was on a bus and there were
some very unkind things being said
by some other people on the bus.
Not just to me but to other passengers.
I came home and wrote this.
I just needed to write it out.
The sad thing is..
this is still relevant.