The past holds many secrets,
That maintain control of me.
The shame and regrets,
Are the only ones I see.

I am lost in what was,
Instead of what will be.
Dark and twisted memories,
Keep their hold on me.

Dreams of other times,
Haunt my days and nights.
Do others see my burden,
My internal daily plight.

I try to focus on today,
And seal away this pain.
It's frozen in my mind,
And will always leave a stain.

Today is a new day,
With new pasts to create.
I choose to focus on this moment,
And determine my own fate.

Not cancer within our bones,
But it’s a cancer of our homes.
It’s a “hierarchy” deemed “alright”
But it’s a battle – a true fight.

It’s a longing for control and
It’s a simple punch, fist, hand
Or not even that. It could be
Lashing words that ignore her plea.

He denies her to her loved ones
For that’s who would step up with guns
Of love, ropes of safety. “Keep quiet,”
She’s told, which is now her best bet.

It’s shame that keeps her in silence.
It’s love that frees her from *violence.

Breathe...
I walk into your room,
And turn away from the caution sign that greets me.
The room is cold and smells of disinfectant.
I creep up beside you so as not to have you wake.
I avoid the lines that provide you life.
How small and helpless you seem.
Just a fragment of your former self.
A stranger...

I hear someone enter the room and I turn my head towards them.
The judgement and embarrassment are evident on their face.
I feel pity from those who watch his torment.
Eye contact is avoided.
They recoil from his touch and reach for the gloves,
That place a barrier between them.
I turn back towards my father.
So many memories...
Both good and bad.
I focus on the memories filled with joy.
The ones I wish to remember you by.
I keep the pain buried deep below the surface of my heart.

The silence is unbearable.
I reach for your hand and you turn your head towards me.
Your smile is quiet and no longer reaches your eyes.
There is no need to speak.
I feel the anger bubbling up inside me.
At the thought of the pain you must endure.
So many others out there in the world
But you were chosen to bear the stigma.
How did he contract it?
Is he gay or an addict?
I tried to ignore their ignorance,
But I just want to hurt them,
And have them share our pain.

I remember the day they told us,
"Sir you have AIDS".
I froze and looked up at you.
You told me it would be okay.
A lie to protect me from what the future would bring.
The end is near.
I love you Dee with all my heart,
And I will share your memories.
I give you one last kiss before you close your eyes,
You will now be free of the pain in this world,
Let your soul finally find peace.
I say goodbye for the last time,
And watch your breath fade away.

My love is like a sickness
A bringer of disease
It infects all those it touches,
Destroys all that it sees.

Your love is like a razor,
It cuts me to the core.
With promises of passion,
Like all the times before.

This love is like a poison,
With no known remedy.
It weaves between our souls,
And ***** all life from me.

I long to feel your touch,
And your lips upon my skin.
But the love we have between us,
Is nothing more than sin.

Now I'll slip away,
And wipe you from my mind.
You are a shadow on my heart,
And I'll leave your love behind.