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Ike Jun 2019
I drive way too fast
I listen to music so loud it hurts
I drink to get drunk not to be social.
I take the wrong turns
And the road less traveled
Because I want to.
There are more interesting things along the way
Dangerous or not
I walk into the woods at night alone
I carry a blade not a gun
Our mortality is the very reason I do so

you know something is watching
You can feel it
Sometimes it's good to be observed
By the unknown

It's that very feeling
Right before you are going to lose something dear
When you have to say goodbye
And you know it's forever
And have no choice
When you gain something you never knew you were looking for
Or already had
When you do things that terrify you
Because something inside you says you will regret it the rest of your life if you do not.

The watcher is telling you...you are indeed alive,
And you will be tomorrow.
It's coming and you can't stop it.
Your participation is encouraged but non-essential.

Wake up
Ike Jun 2019
Stop accepting things about me and acting like you are above what I've done.
Stop understanding "that's just the way I am" because its not.
And I could care less about understanding from the likes, anyhow.
It took me a long time to realize, no one even asked.
I'm sick of everyones arm
And its length
The smiles of normalcy,
The jest in parting
Followed by forked tongues behind closed doors.
Everyone and their secrets
no one is supposed to talk it yet are common knowledge.
Well guess what.
Mine are too,
So there are no secrets nor a  choice in the matter.
You either get it or you don't
No one will ever set foot in these mangled shoes
And I'm sick and tired of thinking anyone might give enough of a **** to do so, I'm sure as hell not getting in yours.
Which begs the question, why did I care in the first place.
Well I don't anymore.
And honestly I'm better off without.
The world can still go **** itself
But not for anyone else this time
Just me.
Ike May 2019
I hate love my life so much
I wish it would just end go on infinite
If my entire life has been torture
My entire life has been beauty
Every waking moment pain bliss sleep
I can can't decipher or begin to explain
Yet I am forty eight words in.
Forever to end beginning tomorrow
I love with all my heart
I am dead inside.
Ike Mar 2019
What am I even supposed to do anymore???
I tell the truth and get exactly the thing I try to prevent with secrets or omission of the past
What do I do?
Live my life at arms length from those I love the most?
Or just take it for what it's worth and feel blessed for what I have?
Let go?

Or tell the world to go **** itself and accept being alone in the same biological soup of the same feces with the same faces
Names and situations
Time and TIME again
Accept being alone?
It's all a matter of perspective

Yeah well what if most of those facets are utter ******* because you did everything you were supposed to and still
Dig yourself out of your own grave
And carve out a piece of your heart to say goodbye to
Every. Single. Day.

I'm so tired of forked tongues and invisible ink
All I have ever done is love and want to be loved. Maybe a little understanding would be nice

I can't believe it took me this long to find out, this is just too much to ask.
No matter who they are or how much they say

"The truth will set you free"
Said the one that has never laid their life down on that altar
Or put truth into real legitimate life practice

"Be yourself "
Said the one covered in ink and memetic scars with the same piercings as everyone on the planet

"I love you"
Says everyone.

"I love you no matter what."
Liars.

Don't believe them.
Don't believe them.
Don't believe them.
Ike Jan 2019
It is so cold out
The stars can whisper your name
As the earth slumbers
Ike Jan 2019
Not the answer you wanted but
Thanks political uncle brother!
This is barely satire.
I wish it was haiku,
But who can really make a
Knife that sharp in this atmosphere.
It's a mystery alright
Aliens and Clintons

There was a light in the sky this one time a long time ago when I was crazy that forced welfare down my throat
But It's ok if you talk to god
If god is just the voice in my head then
don't talk to any of the other crazy things that tell you how to live your
Afterlife

Who have YOU been talking to?
Would you swear to it in court?
Remember that time it said
Invade thy neighbor
In a red conversation bubble and Everyone
Died

Love is so 2000 B.C.
Seven billion people and we can't
Find even one of you.
Ike Jan 2019
The inevitables of life have really been getting to me lately
I didn't know her very well but
She died and... it made me question my entire being
It really really bugs me.
I couldn't even cry and still can't and that bugs me even more
Now I don't even know what I want anymore
and I have this impending doom  creeping in my chest
 "The world could end tomorrow and I have wasted my life"
kind of doom.
Now I am a third the way through it
And I can't go back
More likely half

The underwater explorer,
a man on the moon,
the world saving scientist,
love...children
And that's it.
Dreams are just that.
until they die or are killed by
someone elses dream
And I'm sitting here watching my closest friends go through it
Every stage from young until old
Realizing that I have been staring into a mirror
my entire life

Locked in a box made of societal issues so thick I can't hear the people screaming at me
"Your life is a lie and so is mine!"

The dread is overwhelming
That IS the wisdom.
One simple problem one simple answer
It all ends the same
No one ever gets young
And we all think there is plenty of time.
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