Knock knock!!!
Who is there???

I am the one closest to that you are closest to,
attached to your possessions
                       your loved ones.

I am that numbness over your spine,
that uncertain lump in your throat,
the anxiety that makes your body shiver,
the reverberating chattering in your mind.
that long fuzzy sense of grievance.

I am the most unwelcoming,
And even evaded by your sense of awareness.

I am the battlefield in your paradise.
the termite making your roots hollow.
I am the one that has morphed the taste of your favourite sweet marshmallows into the sour grapes.

I am that dilemma that freaked you out,
And you find yourself clinging in between.

You still didn't recognise me?
Let me give some more of clues.

I was there,
when you saw him with her,
sharing their laughs,
his laugh,
the same laugh that made you fall in love with him,
was disturbing you there.

Didn't you see me, I was next to you.

That night,
I was all there,
very close to your mother,
When you asked her to go out,
And she didn't let you.

Didn't you sense my presence?
with your locked room
while sleeping every night,
in your own house.

I was right there,
when you were judged by your complexion,
& shape of your body.
You were told you are not good enough
And you believed them.

I am the same which made you toss and twist,
in those sleepless nights,
when your pressing need was your sleep.

I am the one intervening your inner piece,
A clear foe,
Sometimes the result of you own overthinking,
Which gnaws you,
Tears your skin apart,
Makes your head heavy.

I am the agony,
the irony,
Still inexplicable.

I am called your insecurities.

I know that that heavy burden has been clawing inside your heart,
Years has passed,
You never tell,
I never asked.

I've seen your fall from the catastrophe,
And I know your pain in immense.
But what worse it could be,
I am standing helplessly,
Feeling like a *****,
But not doing anything.
I wish you'd have allowed me just for once
To enter there
Where you have suppressed your pain so hard.

Just tell me once,
how is it valid
to share the laughter aloud
but when it comes to tears,
(your tears)
You back off.

Just tell me once,
Why is it easy
to talk about all the beauty and the bounty the life has given,
to buttonhole me with all your talks,
Squabbling around the irrelevant sometimes,
But it scares you to talk about the story of your scars.

Just tell me once,
how is it fair
that my pain, my trouble, my problem becomes ours,
and yours is always yours.

Just tell me once,
why you are so hard to explore.
It's been years of our being together,
why you are always this mysterious.

Just tell me once
how is it relevant in our strong bonding of ages.

May be it's too painful to talk about,
May be it's me who isn't worthy enough,
Whatsoever it may be,
but I know you ain't much healed,
And it bothers me.

I can't assure you that unveiling your scars will heal you definitely
But the one thing I am sure of:
It feels good to be listened,
listened in enchantment.
I know it because you do the same to me
And It bolsters my strength.

Honey!
We all have our shadows
Pour it out &
Burn them down.
May be then you'll feel a little lighter.

Dear Poet Friend, I have tried to render a true story in verse, which our school teacher had told us way back in the 1950s! If you like it,
kindly re-post the same. Thanks, - Raj Nandy            

           ON THE PSYCHIATRIST’S COUCH !
A man under depression met a psychiatrist one day,
And began to speak as on the couch he lay.
“Doc I feel depressed all day, as if a pall of mist is
surrounding me,
I move around like a lifeless robot you see;
I wonder what has come over me?”

The doctor said, “Cheer up my friend, from your
daily routine you must now take a break!
A new circus has come to town, and there is that
famous Grock the jovial clown.
His antics will make you laugh your guts out.
For Laughter is the best medicine for you no doubt!”

But the sad old man with his long drawn face,
Was not impressed with what the Doctor said.
He got up from the couch with a frown,
And said, - “Doctor I am Grock, that circus clown !”
                                                -Raj Nandy, New Delhi.

But I know the things you once told me was never true.
i hadn't had the clue.
adorned words used meticulously,
and I believed them.

I am not saying I am hurt very bad.
or literally sad,
but I can't deny, it did bother me somewhere.

just a single effort you'd have made.
just a single thing you'd have said.
to rekindle what we had.
glum silence followed,
but now the wedge is crystal clear.

considered you were free of deceit,
what I found was a jigsaw instead.
and I was utterly perplexed.
this sordid affair was like a HICCUP,
Completely unexpected.

it bothered me a bit,
But believe me when I say this,
It caused no calamity.

albeit the contortion was required somewhere,

so that I may fathom
HOW SOME PEOPLE ARE SO FAMILIAR YET UNKNOWN.

We are scared,
We are scared of forever,
Forever of being together,
Forever of not being together.

You and I,
he and she.
We all know
that our life is temporary,
then why to seek forever.
They say "Nothing lasts forever."
then what is forever?
As per as I sense forever,
Its hypothetical.
so what are we scared of?
Are we scared of what doesn't even exist?

Let's just stop sleeping on it so hard.
Let's just live through it.
Let's just live thoroughly.

Let's just walk through the path,
enjoying the journey,
without thinking where the destination will lead us.

Let's just watch the flapping  wings of flying birds,
higher
lower,
everywhere,
without questioning where their nests belong.

Let's just swim in the ocean of our spark,
following the waves,
without the dread of drowning into it.

Let's just love living,
Let's just enjoy the freedom of being.
Let's just adore more,
when there is world to explore.

Let's just not think of,
What will stay
& what will perish?
When we have a whole lot to cherish.

Cause what will stay
or what will not..
Who knows !
so let's just cut this crap aside.

Let's just free ourselves a bit more.
Let's just inhale "NOW".
lets inhale it thoroughly.
Let's just feel the beauty of " NOW".
The more of it.
Every single bit of it.

You the nature,
Surrounded by the nature,
Nature, that is always there
and has always been.
is an epitome
to your nature.
Nature should be the nature.

From the cold breeze caressing your face,
touching your body,
passing by.
From the blazing sun in winter,
Kissing your skin,
Soothing your eyes.
From the music
Setting the harmony,
inner and outer.

From your swinging feet in the flowing water,
From sitting under the sky and just watching the stars,
From your barefoot walk over the moist sand,
From the fragrance of the flowers,
From constellations,
From oceans,
From trees,
From breeze,
From sun,
From moon,
From clouds,
From rivers,
From rainbows,
From everything to everything.

The whole of universe spreading something yet everything.
Something so magical.
So pious,
So sacred,
So peaceful.
Sending you healing
the energy,
an inexplicable power,
an immense pleasure,
something beyond,
something immortal.
Like The whole of universe is working in your favour,
Is here for you,
and has always been.
Like you are the universe,
the integral function of it.
Like you are the nature,
& nature is you.

Everything from everything to everything,
Is there,
Subtle,
Yet there,
For you of course.