Waking up slowly
in your arms
it's dark but
I sense your smile
gentle eyes
as you look at me
run your fingers
through my hair
no words
just movements
I lean in closer
taking a deep breath
before I kiss your chin
before you can’t
control yourself anymore
taking control
'kiss me' you said
no time to answer
before our lips met
I guess you’ve missed me
cause I’ve never had such a
passionate kiss before
I’m awake now

I wish I knew
I was just looking for less pain
Too broken for happiness and love
I just wish I knew back then

Every night
I look up at the stars
remembering how it was
how awful I felt

Every night
I look up at the moon
remembering your sweet face
that was never really mine

Every night
I look up at the dark clouds
remembering all the tears I shed
how I was drowning in sorrow

Every night
I look up at the sky
remembering being consumed by your darkness
and how it almost killed me

Be honest with me
If I’m too much
If I annoy you
please tell me

And if you don’t
then why?
there must be
something

Just one thing
wrong with me
I keep looking
searching for

Just one thing
you must hate
about someone
like me

I’m not online
you can’t reach me
but I’m still trying
to go outside
so you can find me
and tell me that we can
work this out
if only you would do that
my dreams would come true
cause I’m sick and tired
of only seeing you
putting in effort
being the perfect guy
in my dreams at night

The way the sunlight hits
you in the morning
waking you up
energised
can’t help but smile
that’s you
when you walk towards me
looking at me
to prepare me for what happens next
let’s melt together, embrace
taste the rainbow from your lips
and let’s stay here
as the universe continues 
as the people around us
keep living
put our time stopped
for this moment

Where do you go
when home
isn't home anymore?

where do you go
when he
isn't yours anymore?

where do you go
when she
won’t be your friend anymore?

where do you go
when they
don't believe in you anymore?

where do you go
when everything
seems lost?

The energy that night,
made it all seem so right

At midnight you had to say it,
I sneaked out for a bit

The rain was poring, 
Bare feet, ignoring 

Most of the conversation were giggles, 
hearing your voice, say it, I felt tickles

‘I just need to tell you that I love you so much,
and I can't wait to see you'

It was the most beautiful lie,
to bad we had to say goodbye

I felt it in the air
this cold, grey weather
it was the same as last year
when I was happy
shook it off because
it made me tense
because now I can finally
smile without you

The old me is gone
this is the upgraded version
you see in front of you
but it’s not fully developed
there has been a delay
because of the pain
struggling with issues
some things still needs
to be fixed before
the launch of this improved version
for now I'm sorry for the glitches
you might come across
thanks for your patience

I don't really fall in love anymore
I feel dead on the inside
it's been like this for some time
give it a try if you dare
but don't get angry with me
for not trying
I might just be too broken
to trust anyone again
cut me some slack
and if not
you probably
aren't the one for me

I wanted you to have me
to be there for you always
but you didn’t deserve me
at least that was was you said

You want your strong arms to be my saving
my safe place

You want to see me glow, smile forever
but I don't have a reason to

You want our hands closely tied
glue them together so you don't lose me

You want to make me happy
but i'm not sure what that means anymore

You want me to trust you
but i've been let down too many times

You want me to love you back
you're just not the one for me

Shot or hung was my possibilities 
I chose to get shot
in the end the wound will heal
if only it wouldn't take this long

I want you out of this bed
you are gone
but I can still feel you
my mind says you are
still laying here
holding my hand
touching my lips
I want you out!

I want you out of this room
you are gone
but I can still hear you
I can still hear
you breathing
your sweet giggle
they way you hum
while holding me
to make me feel safe
I want you out!

I want you out of my head
the only place
you never left
you're with me everywhere
what you would say
how you would react
feeling your touch
playing with my mind
making sure that
I didn't leave you
I want you out!

if you ask me
what I do to get better
i'm going to say
absolutely nothing
because doing stuff
made me sick
broke my heart
destroyed me
so now I'm
taking a break
and healing in peace