Here’s to scrumptious nights.
cats and boots and cats and boots
We went clubbing last night, to recalibrate
ourselves on the dance floor, where magic happens.
cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots
To focus on sensory experiences, the beat,
and share in the fun and tangible sense of freedom.
cats and boots and cats and boots
Feel the wave, show your energy, be the wave
cats and boots and cats and boots
be disheveled, swing your hair like a weapon
abandon, silly, self-protecting vanities
cats and boots and cats and boots
flashing lights on dancing figures
make it all seem slo-mo and extreme.
cats and boots and cats and boots
It’s been too long since we’ve done it like this.
Work-worn, I’d lost my lucidity and stumbled badly on a quiz.
Lisa pushed my books onto the floor, declaring, “Get UP, we’re grabbing some bliss.”
cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots
failure has a reality, a gravity and pull all the more shocking in relief.
I’d started out the evening gloomy and ashamed - a figure of regret -
but I’m better now, buoyed and recharged and soon I’ll have a plan - hopefully.
cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots
There was a guy there, on the dance floor, who looked like a young Leonardo DiCaprio.
We made eye contact, nodding and smiling at each other in motion.
We gyrated, together, sort of, for a second, in our separate orbits - no conversation
I just watched him for a moment or two, sexualizing him like eye candy.
Just seeing him was sensual fun and I wondered what he smelled like.
He had a gritty, sweaty, idealized beauty, like a dancing ‘David’
that no Michelangelo could ever capture in stiff granite sculpture.
The music ended - momentarily - we knew it would start up again
and we were there for it - til 1 or 2 am anyway - then it recranked.
cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and..
Lisa grabbed my hand, jerking me onto the dance floor almost
before I could set down my drink. Eeek! “Slow Down!” I yelled,
but my complaint was lost in the din and my involuntary laugh.
cats and boots and cats and boots and cats and boots and..
.
.
Songs for this:
Dance To This (feat. Ariana Grande) by Troye Sivan
Good Time Girl (feat. Charlie Barker) by Sofi Tukker

i laugh without listening
and cancel all my plans

in black and white
dressing every windshield in dew

i dream of you in bars
in bars
i wake up wallowing
hollow
in all our distances and headaches

every day a ****** hangover
my dry eyes are rooftiles
in wait
for the acid come pouring
out the cracked ceramic sky

umbrellaless

i cancel plans 'cause of my veins'
caramel sludge cravings ever
clear embers and
candy climbing tumbles

i crumple through the openings
of every suburban sliding glass door
to sear the acoustics of some stranger's
morning cigarettes

make clouds
and disappear vapor-burned valleys

i cancel plans 'cause the moon
has been full for three months
and the atmosphere's been seizing grandly
in time to my throat's theatrics

in time to the tics of my lighter's
flickers and clicking calls

that won't stop
'cause i don't leave my bed

As much as I loathe my life
Hated it more without you
Pain inside I thought would go
Instead feeling grew

Days had become dark for us
I made the choice to leave
Tried and tried to make it work
You tried to deceive

I couldn't take more lies
Couldn't handle the hurt
Was so tired of being put second
I always put you first

So said goodbye to the greatest thing
Most amazing person I've ever known
For us to find felicity
Even if it meant being alone

It cut deeper than I thought possible
Every morning hated to wake
Pushed on by telling myself
Time would ease the ache

Months passed with no success
Stopped counting each "better" tomorrow
The agony did eventually start to fade
Not the emptiness
Exasperation
Sorrow

I did best to stay away
Not listen to alluring speech
Finally caved in realizing
Peace on own I wouldn't reach

Now you brighten each day
With texts and concerned calls
Every week continue to struggle
Around you the world isn't bad at all

I wish I would have understood
The first moment I held your body near
That my love for you couldn't be stopped
Though I attempted to make it disappear

The stars shine brighter now
Nearly lost love pure and strong
Don't know why I thought I'd be happier without
You in life cause I was so **** wrong

"My drops of tears I'll turn to sparks of fire ."
Shakespeare :
Henry VIII , act II , scene IV


I'm
mixing alcohol
with . . .
my silver tears of fear

While . . .
I'm am
looking back
on all the agony
of my life
whose demise
is now . . .
drawing near

I dream of being Phoenix
with red plumage
and desire
To be consumed
by the tears
I have set on fire

So . . .
let me pour another drink
and
rake the coals of life

Then I'll be
setting my tears
on fire
While waiting
on new life


Song : Set Fire to the Rain
by Adele

I carry you in my heart;
in my head; in my bones.
I would have carried you to the earth's end,
but now, you are simply mulch.