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Eternal brood the shadows on this ground,
Dreaming of centuries that have gone before;
Great elms rise solemnly by slab and mound,
Arched high above a hidden world of yore.
Round all the scene a light of memory plays,
And dead leaves whisper of departed days,
Longing for sights and sounds that are no more.

Lonely and sad, a specter glides along
Aisles where of old his living footsteps fell;
No common glance discerns him, though his song
Peals down through time with a mysterious spell.
Only the few who sorcery's secret know,
Espy amidst these tombs the shade of Poe.
Through the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-mooned abysses of night,
I have lived o'er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

I have whirled with the earth at the dawning,
When the sky was a vaporous flame;
I have seen the dark universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim,
Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.

I had drifted o'er seas without ending,
Under sinister grey-clouded skies,
That the many-forked lightning is rending,
That resound with hysterical cries;
With the moans of invisible daemons, that out of the green waters rise.

I have plunged like a deer through the arches
Of the hoary primoridal grove,
Where the oaks feel the presence that marches,
And stalks on where no spirit dares rove,
And I flee from a thing that surrounds me, and leers through dead branches above.

I have stumbled by cave-ridden mountains
That rise barren and bleak from the plain,
I have drunk of the fog-foetid fountains
That ooze down to the marsh and the main;
And in hot cursed tarns I have seen things, I care not to gaze on again.

I have scanned the vast ivy-clad palace,
I have trod its untenanted hall,
Where the moon rising up from the valleys
Shows the tapestried things on the wall;
Strange figures discordantly woven, that I cannot endure to recall.

I have peered from the casements in wonder
At the mouldering meadows around,
At the many-roofed village laid under
The curse of a grave-girdled ground;
And from rows of white urn-carven marble, I listen intently for sound.

I have haunted the tombs of the ages,
I have flown on the pinions of fear,
Where the smoke-belching Erebus rages;
Where the jokulls loom snow-clad and drear:
And in realms where the sun of the desert consumes what it never can cheer.

I was old when the pharaohs first mounted
The jewel-decked throne by the Nile;
I was old in those epochs uncounted
When I, and I only, was vile;
And Man, yet untainted and happy, dwelt in bliss on the far Arctic isle.

Oh, great was the sin of my spirit,
And great is the reach of its doom;
Not the pity of Heaven can cheer it,
Nor can respite be found in the tomb:
Down the infinite aeons come beating the wings of unmerciful gloom.

Through the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-mooned abysses of night,
I have lived o'er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.
writing poetry in second person is easier
because then you don't have to face your own fears.
writing poetry in second person is easier
because then you don't have to face your own feelings.

your basement is haunted with more than just your own soul
the lights flicker every time you forget
to remind the monsters under your bed
that you get a 10 second head-start after the lights are turned off.

you keep track of the moon's phases because you know
that somewhere out there, she's staring up at the same sky
and you want to close your eyes and picture how moonlight
reflects off of her moonlight hair, stars in her midday eyes.

you haven't looked yourself in the eye for a very long time now,
unable to bring yourself to take in more than
the fleeting moment of a mirror reflection. nothing is worse
than a dark phone screen. unintentional observation of what you want to forget.

you want to forget.
you're so terrified of the thought of spending eighty- to
one hundred-K for four years of college that you can't even begin to
imagine what exactly you would dedicate a degree to.
is anything worth that much? you change your mind so easily.

you want to tuck her hair behind her ears,
but she always wears it tied back. the same shade of brown as her eyes.
she's so unattainable that you've settled for just being friends with her,
being in the same space as her, listening to her talk about her home
and wishing that you had the same kind of place for your heart to go.

you're scared of the dark.
you're scared of commitment.
you're scared of the future.
you're scared of the past.
you're scared of your own reflection.
you're scared of your own eyes.
you're scared of never feeling comfortable in your own skin.
it has never felt like your own.
you have never known comfort in your own bones.
they've been the construction crew of too many
of the skeletons in your closet, tucked between stuffed animals and long sleeves.

it's easier to write poetry in second person,
because sometimes i like to pretend like i'm not the one feeling things.
it's easier to write poetry in second person,
because sometimes i'm not sure if i'm ever actually feeling anything.
when you click your heels and wish for home, where exactly is it that you go? i packed away all my ambition in manilla envelopes of faded dreams and sent them away to coral reefs so schools of fish a generation after me could learn from my mistakes. start saving for college when you’re six, a year for every digit, because if you want a higher education then you can’t afford the things that make you happy. (maybe that’s why nemo’s dad didn’t want him to go to school.) sew your stories into the patchwork quilt of your backpack slung across your shoulders and never trust someone that you can’t touch with the tips of your eyelashes.

(start wearing mascara so that you can pretend that everyone you love is close enough.)

when you look up at the stars at night, tuck them into your lint-lined backpack pockets and keep the stardust there like secrets. (no one ever keeps secrets.) sprinkle those stars onto your shoes and hope that pixie dust flies you faster than Southwest or Spirit airlines. mailboxes don’t go in reverse, so everything that you’ve sent away doesn’t tend to come right back without being stamped in red. NO ONE LIVES THERE. ADDRESS NOT REAL. SANTA DIED IN THE SECOND GRADE. nemo, go home. nemo, go home.

(cross my heart and hope to die for i have lived a thousand lives each covered by a constellation that dot-dot-dots me right back to the deepest shades of blue. how different are astronomers from oceanographers anyway? we’re all searching for things that everyone else is scared of finding. we’re all searching for things that don’t exist but have to.)

destination: still figuring it out. destination: a desert built from a river that ran out a long time ago, from everyone that ran out a long time ago, a delta of broken dreams peppered with sandcastles of stories that never saw completion. destination: roswell, because i’ve always loved road trips and maybe UFOs will be more comfortable than the backseat of my carolla.

destination: home. maybe these heels will figure out what that means by the time i’ve finished counting: one (home), two (home), three--

(home).
i’ve found that i do the most learning during second semester.

for example, second semester of freshman year i learned that losing friends is a lot like losing a life,
that losing friends kind of usually makes you really want to die,
that losing friends is like a comet blasting its way through your heart--
it sets you ablaze for a moment,
but then by the time you notice its absence it’s already circling another planet.
losing friends is always hard.
keep a death toll if you have to, but adding a tally mark for yourself isn’t worth it.
learn the art of letting go.
learn the art of getting by.
it’s hard, and it sometimes feels impossible,
but don’t expect too much from anything.
don’t expect too much from anyone,
but god forbid you let yourself lose all feeling.
yes, feeling hurts, yes, feeling is hard,
but going numb and cold leads to frostbite
and you'll just end up amputating the limbs that you have left.

the second semester of sophomore year,
i learned what it was like to never feel at home in your own bones.
you’re always drifting, interstate international interstellar intergalactic.
it’s all the same thing.
it’s okay to let yourself wander,
and it’s okay if you find yourself kneeling on foreign bathroom floors clutching porcelain like it’s your last lifeline.
learn that home is where your heart is.
don’t invest your heart into anything.
learn that there are teenage boys out there who will spin galaxies into your spine when they hold you close,
but learn that romance is stigmatized.
learn that relationships don’t have to be forever,
that nothing is ever really forever.
learn that friends will last longer than lovers,
and learn to tell the difference between friends and lovers.
make plans to travel the world with your soulmate,
and make sure your soulmate is someone who wants to travel the world with you.
the second semester of sophomore year,
i learned that losing friends is a lot like losing a life,
only this time it was worse because this time i was built out of scar tissue
and scar tissue is tougher to tear through but they did it anyway.
i’m still learning the art of letting go.
i’m learning that it’s okay to write as much angry, heart-broken poetry as you need to in order to get over it
because friendships wrap tighter around your heart than any other kind of relationship.
learn that the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.
but learn to be kind to your mother, because she is trying.

the second semester of junior year
i learned the names of every single person that i could pour my whole soul into,
and just because i don’t share everything with someone doesn’t mean we aren’t friends.
i’ve learned that i have friends.
just because we aren’t awake together at 3 a.m.
doesn’t mean that they don’t sit next to me in all the classes we’re both in,
it doesn’t mean that they don’t go driving with me at 3 p.m.
a friend doesn’t have to be someone you spend every waking moment with.
a friend can just be someone that you coexist with,
someone who makes you feel like you aren’t really all that alone.

the second semester of junior year i’ve learned that i am still learning.
i’m still figuring things out.
maybe by the second semester of senior year i’ll have learned something closer to, say, what i’m doing for the next four to six years,
or maybe i’ll finally master the art of letting go.

the second half of high school
i’ve learned that, yeah, scar tissue grows.
but scars fade.
and the concave space in your chest doesn’t have to keep on growing into a black hole,
that you can fill up your cracks and crevices with stardust and iron.
losing friends is like losing a life. but, god, when they come back--

it’s okay to feel things.
it’s okay to feel too much and all at once.
it’s okay to vent and rave and scream.
it’s okay to write bad poetry about sins that you’ve already forgiven and people you’ve already forgotten and places you’ve already left behind.
it’s okay.
it’s okay to hold onto your humanity.
make maps with your own freckles and follow your veins to your eyes.
make eye contact with your own reflection.
if you can’t teach yourself something,
then how is anyone else ever going to listen?
EVERYTHING WILL BE OKAY
 Jul 2016 EtherealOmega
Seth M P
‘it’ he said
to my chagrin
a lying snake
he was akin

‘it’ she said
he called me so
i had been led
i fill with woe

‘it’ i heard
i’ll show him how
he is absurd
he’ll rue it now

‘he’ not ‘it’
boy has no class
he’s such a twit
again? i’ll kick your-
Dedicated to the a-hole in my gym class. I can't take him in a fight so this is the next best thing.
It was a few days ago
The last time you touched my hair
I ignored it and told myself
"Doesn't really matter"

My grades were failing
I was not able to cope up
Prom was nearing
And no boy nor friends came up

Those were dark days Gran
I can barely recognize who I am
You told me that everything will get better
You told me I'm stronger than Mom

I can still remember
The last sweater you knitted
The last movie we watched
The last food you heated

You were there for me
When my friends left
When Luke and I broke up
The night I cried, you sang and I slept

Those were the good in the bad Gran
But now, you have to go
And I was not there for you
I was busy with myself, I did not know

I came home with the usual routine
Called you while the house is still dark
No answer
I placed my shoes under the rack

I saw you
On the floor
Sleeping
For what seems like forever

I think that was the first time
I got worried about you
It is also the last time
I would ever be able to

You stayed in the hospital for weeks
I went to school because I need to pass
Focusing was a hard task
I should be by your side, I must

The skies were gray above the sea of black
Everyone was crying
Saying "she was the nicest"
"You were lucky to have her when she was still breathing"

I took you for granted
I never appreciated the small things you did
I was always looking for something far away
When all this time, you were all that I needed

In this house, I'm haunted by memories of you
Cooking, cleaning, knitting, watching
The feeling never abandoned me
Constantly there, reminding

That I should treat everything like it would be the last

Cherish moments while we're alive

Because once we stop breathing, we will become a memory

And we can never bring it back

I miss you Gran

×
“For everyone that lost a loved one or is in the verge of losing one.”
 Jul 2016 EtherealOmega
Lucy
I had a dream
That life was joyful and free

One minute has passed
And I’m still in glee

No one should fear life
No one should fear death

There’s no time for this or that
Please just take a deep breath

Life will never be perfect
Nor will it be fair

But for all the perfect times
It all makes you aware

That life is precious
You're an essential part to this world.
 Jul 2016 EtherealOmega
Lucy
I know you’ve been told that you’re not pretty
That your hair is too short
And you’re not witty
Your nose is too wide
And you smile too much
But above all, you rose

I know they say your eyes are too plain
And you have a round face with big ol’ lips
But pretty girl, those are all lies

I know they say your skin is too dark
And that you try too hard
But what a bore it is to be anyone but you

I’m here to say
Your beauty is greater than the nile
And there’s no mile left to go
You’ll reach your final journey
And when you do, Pretty girl
I promise you’ll never be lonely

They may curse your name
And hate on you
But I believe you can handle the worse
Because while your enemies hate
And your lover cheats
That doesn’t determine your fate
And when you think there’s nothing more you can take
You will recover

I know you’ve been told you don’t matter
And no one will miss you when you’re gone
And that you’re not smart enough
Or nobody likes you
Which may have made your heart race
But above all, you rose

And Pretty girl?
Your nose is perfect
Your smile is beautiful
And you will be picked first

Pretty girl, you’re more witty
Than the entire city
And your eyes hold history in them
Don’t listen to that liar

Pretty girl, your face is wonderful
Your lips are fantastic
And nobody can take your place
There’s simply no race
No arguments?
I think I rest my case

Pretty girl, your skin is alluring
And your confidence is not a sin
And the way the sun dances on your skin
And makes you glow
Simply makes everything flow

Why would you want to be anybody else?
You’re already a shining star
And a key that opens any lock
Don’t mind those who mock
There’s nobody more special than you
Oh, how I wished you believed it true

Pretty girl, you’ve already won  
So flaunt your pretty self
And leave your haters feeling sore
And begging for more

Don’t you see, pretty girl?
Those liars tried
So here’s a toast
For all your troubles
Because above all, you rose.
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