Here's the thing
I loved him first
I really did - boldly, undoubtedly (fearfully)
I loved him with a piece of me I didn't know I had

Here's the other thing
Maybe he loved me back (he did)
Maybe he wasn't all sunset smiles and blue summer eyes
But maybe we could have been happy

But the truth is that we didn't-
We weren't-
We never will-

I have seen his face in a thousand sunsets
Met his eyes in a thousand skies
And while I've come to the realization of living  without him,
That old scar on my chest still bleeds (and bleeds and bleeds)

The thing about the unrequited
The thing about the unfulfilled
Is that it almost would have been better to have crashed and burned
Maybe I wouldn't miss him then

In this life time he loves me

And Icarus never laid eyes upon Apollo’s grace.

In this life time he loves me 

And Persephone eats from the pomegranate with a steady hand.

In this life time he loves me

And Achilles holds Patroclus without the knowledge of loss.

In this life time he loves me not 

And I ache for gods who do not ache for me.

The truth was painful, so you buried it
Dug a hole into the earth six feet deep
Nestled it right beside your childhood
Threw some dirt upon its coffin and fashioned a crude cross out of bones and teeth

In death, Truth is just as ugly as it was in life
But you feel safe with it out of sight
You loosen the fist you weren’t aware you were making
You tend to the ****** red crescents from where they’re branded into your palm
You say a few words but what words are left when they’re buried below your feet?

You tell yourself it was a kindness
You swear to yourself that it was a means to an end
But there was no justice when you held its life in your hands
No mercy when you buried your fangs in it’s heart

You convince yourself that it was an act of love
“The truth is painful” and “the world is ugly”
Without the truth, you believe maybe there’s still some beauty in the world
Can convince yourself that the blood red rose on an unmarked grave is a sign you were right

Six feet under, Reality is weeping.

This is to the lovers I regard
with a fondness from the heart
looking back through the years
at the ones that I’ve embraced

single digits are enough
to measure the base frequency
though the count was too low
to truly gain knowledge’s boon

experience notched fades away
dimming as the years proceed
insufficient at the time
now even less without practice

those very few that I touched
exists beyond the corporal ways
memories left now only fade
with only names left to say.

© 2018. Sean Green. All Rights Reserved. 20180611.

You make me shiver
You make me smile
Just Like First Love

You make me high
You make me thrive
Just Like First Love

"You give everything and you give too much"
Just Like First Love

And we'll never forget how it feels
Just Like First Love

'Cause baby you make me
You make me want to do it best
You make me want to be your last
Just Like First Love

with each word that you speak
i am paralysed with a fear i have never felt
frightened by each syllable because i can never tell if you mean the words that drip like poison from your lips

your eyes send shocks through my body
my bones are cracked from the electrocution of the fear surging in my veins, striking everything it comes into contact with like lightning

you as a being haunts me, your very soul possesses mine and while the horror of what you evoke inside of me is a nightmare coming to life
you make me feel like morticia addams, i crave the fright.

Hello everyone,

  I'm so very sorry … I feel horrible doing this, but I have no choice. You see, I have published my first book on Amazon/Kindle! This piece (and many others) had to be taken down because they do not allow published material to be available online for free. (Go figure) I wanted to leave the shell of the posts because I felt compelled to leave all your helpful and loving comments. (Silly sentimental, I know), but I also didn't want to just have the pieces disappear without an explanation. I feel bad enough as it is!

  I owe ALL of you so, SO much for all of your reads, love, and support. It was YOU that gave me the gumption to FINALLY get off my **** and publish! Thank you all for the warm comments, camaraderie, and encouragement! I will still be here, reading, uploading and just being the Rascal that I am. How could I EVER leave you guys?

  The book is called “The Way I See It – FictionPhilosophySoul Food” and it will be FREE for the first few days on Kindle Select, so watch for it, if you are interested. I hope that you go and grab it. If you do, I would also hope that you find it worthy, you would leave me a good review. That will help me get in the public eye! Soon afterward (2-3 days or so), it will be available in paperback. I will be building my Author page tonight (12/21/2018) and my website finished first thing Monday!

Find the book(s) here: www.amazon.com/author/jeff.gaines

Or find the book(s), and all about me, here: www.JeffGaines.world

  Soon after, I also hope to have my first novel (a supernatural thriller), called “Wanderer” available as well!

  Wish me luck!
Big, Biggest Love,
        Jeff Gaines