bring me back to those times
when people were truthful
when true love existed
when people don’t just come and go
the mask we are wearing now
getting thicker everyday
hiding the genuine within us
just so to fit in
we change ourselves to a complete different person
please turn back
look at what u have done to yourself
remove that mask of yours

What if
I had fallen to my knees
On the cold parking lot concrete
Tears washing over my cheeks
And cries no one should ever have to hear
Bellowing out from beneath my ribs
Screaming at the sky
Looking up at your face
Forcing you
(and everyone else)
To see me in this godforsaken state
Of absolute chaos
Heartbreak
In it's rawest form
What if I had begged you to stay?
What if I'd told you I can't do this without you?
What if I'd told you how much I needed you
What if I did anything other than fighting back the tears
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Mostly for the crowd of people gathering
Saying their goodbyes
Anxiously looking around to bear witness to everyone else's reactions
And I didn't want to be that girl
That girl who falls to the ground
Kicking and screaming and crying and begging
But what if I was?
What if I was any girl other than the one I pretended to be that day
The one that held her tongue and kept her mouth shut because she knew the second she opened it to speak she would sob
The one that wrapped her arms around you for the last time,
and the one that let go
The one that couldn't bear to watch you walk away
So she kissed you goodbye
Got back in the car
And drove home
What if i wasn't that girl who didnt allow herself to completely fall apart until she was alone in the privacy of her own home?
What if instead I'd made a scene,
Doing what everything inside me so desperately wanted to
Grabbing hold of your hand and refusing to let go
Losing the facade of confidence
The charade of strength
But I'm not that girl
And I never will be
So each and every time you leave
I kiss you goodbye
I unclench my fists and retract my anchors
I untether my heart from it's human home
And I put on a brave face
Maybe for myself, maybe for you,
Or maybe
For that girl.

sometimes i visit a place
where the fire always burns,
and the sun never fades.

a world
where my words
cut invisible scars
that only bleed when no one's looking.

a land
with mile-wide canyons
that shelter a dark abyss,
one which can curl its smoky whispers
and turn any heart against its soul.

a locale
with double-edged mirrors
that hold truths too harsh
for the ordinary beauty of reality.

sometimes i visit a place
fueled by the flames
and stretched wide with darkness,
where no one can hide
from that ugly inside.

When all is said and done
Look how love has ruined us

What once was soft now turned to steel
I lost myself in the labyrinth of your actions
Unable to find sanctuary in the sanctity of my mind

"This is how you lose me"
I whisper to an empty room on lonely sheets
"This is how I leave you"
I observe in the wreckage of our antipathy

I cut my lips on the sharpness of your words
Stained my soul with the color of your rage
You pricked your finger on the thorns hiding within my heart
The garden once between my ribs now a barren wasteland

"This is how you lose me"
I sowed myself among seeds that never grew
"This is how I leave you"
I buried the heart I once offered to you

Look how love has ruined us
What once was kindling now turned to ash
Look how love has ruined us

Look

Cross my heart and hope to die,
I loved you like that first sunrise
A soul to bind and heart to take
I prayed this time we would not break

I wished upon a star that night
Held hope close and your hand tight
And when I lay to close my eyes
It’s you I dream of again this time

Oh love, my love, please wish me well
Keep me in this gentle spell
And if this love is not meant to last
Then love me hard and leave me fast

In ten years they’ll ask me how I’d ever come to love you


I’ll tell them that I can’t remember your name or whether your laughter was like thunder or rain -

but I’ll remember your eyes


Even now, centuries of stardust gazes back across the abyss to ask forgiveness once more.


It has been years since I have found unwanted galaxies painted on my skin.


Years since the supernova consumed all that was within its path when it died


You called me a black hole at the center of your universe and you the stars trapped in my gravity


In ten years I’ll say I was the comet that escaped your orbit


In ten years, I’ll say that Eons ago, two stars collided in an explosion of energy and matter 



The echoes of their passing still resonate in their surviving atoms

My mother has sewn silver linings into every sky
Hands weary with the weight of the world
And I realize I have always seen Atlas when I stare into her wisened eyes

Is it strength knowing only struggle?
Is it sorrow to be bone tired in a graveyard of all the butterflies you never set free?

How do we save the ones who never ask?
How do we save the ones who cannot save themselves?

I have watched every stitch across a starless night
Every regret and dark thought displayed before  me
Like a pool of shadows

Atlas spent eternity with the world chained to his shoulders
Sometimes I wonder if the forgotten gods come again in the hearts of the lost

i buried my fangs in your heart and tasted ash
i suppose even monsters had hearts once upon a time

we could have been beautiful

my claws carved maps into flesh
your hands tightened around my throat

we were wild beasts searching for paradise in the other's veins
curling up in the other's arms, biting at whomever dared draw us out

we could have been beautiful

daring the world to bare its throat so we too may be conquerors and myth
a story so breathtaking that even the moon dare not show her face

we could have been beautiful

fang for fang, claw for claw
you were the monster and i, the beast

instead we were madness.