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I told you I loved you because I knew thats what you needed to hear
I told you I missed you because I wanted you near
I told you I was sorry because I saw you moving on
All these things I told you, the real you is now gone
i never was the person to play people, but playing people feels better than being played
I spent years running from you
Now I'm running to you
In the heat of the night you gave me hope
I remember that night
It was your grace that stayed my blade
It was your love that kept my heart beating
I was sick of what I had become
I felt so *****
I knew that if I ****** that blade that I would meet you
But that wasn't my time
I knew you had a purpose for me
You brought me through that fight
You calmed the storms
You taught me to keep my eyes on you and not on those waves
Those wives looked so big
You reminded me of the size of your grace
You reminded me of what I was born to do
I wanted to end it all so much
I didn't want to live
I didn't want your grace
Then you called me out
You offered me a place
You gave me a home
I felt so worthless
I felt so hopeless
And you stepped in and made me feel hopeful
Worthy
Something
You made me remember what it was like not to feel pain
You are my God
You are my King
And one day
I will meet you
Face to Face
I want to hate you
In your rightness
And wrongdoings
In your cold shoulder
And your warm embrace
I want to hate you
When the plans fall through
And when theyre more perfect than lottery winning dreams
I want to hate you
When i cant feel like enough
And when you arent there to see me thrive
I want to hate you when the nights are lonely
Or when listless lovers wont fill me up
I want to hate you
On cloudy days
And cloudless
On depression days
And joyous
I want to hate you
When friends ask how i am
Cause im so wrapped up in trying to hate you
I forgot how to love myself
So ready to blame you
Yet so scared to repair myself
I am so lost without you
That i just might find myself
I’m sorry.
My beautiful stanzas,
For not keeping in touch with you.
Somewhere along the way
I abandoned you.
And never wrote back.

I’m sorry.
My sweet verses
I have not forgotten you.
I have only forgotten the feelings in you.
And my heart can't bear to remember.

I’m sorry.
Meaningless Haikus.
I thought I could make some sense out of you.
But I will always be a few words away
from finishing you.

I’m sorry.
Untitled works.
You are amazing.
But I couldn’t give you what you deserved.
I left you raw.
Unpolished.
Unfinished.

I’m sorry.
That I scroll past you.
That I am to forgetful to finish you.
But to proud to erase you.

I’m sorry.
That while you remain
unfinished and unpublished.
I continue giving birth to
New works and
New ideas.

I will finish you one day.
Not today.
Not now.
But someday.
And until that day,

I’m so sorry.
It's not you, it's me.
It's definitely me.
"Are you going to be okay?" The reflection softly asks.

"No," I start to cry. "But I'll keep trying."

"Good." She smiles.
I didn't know what to title it.
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