Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 May 2020 Dev
One of these days the world will wake up
And I won't be in her bed anymore
Stroll through the earths kitchen commonly
To no blueberry sounds or pancake feelings flat
And then just like that
She'll know and know
That I'm nothing like her
And so this morning
I go
What can I say? I'm a good pretender and I'm nothing like you.
 Feb 2020 Dev
moon child
"I'm an open book"
She says

Written in
 Feb 2020 Dev
Am I
 Feb 2020 Dev
Am I kind?
Am I good?
Am I all that you think?
Or am I just a curse
Such an awful little jinx
Chewing up your soul
Leaving you broken links
Rueing the day you choose me
Drawing you to the brinks
Cursing my name under breath
Sighs in anger and defeat
Growing tired of this self-hatred
Sipping on poison-filled sweets
So silence the roaring cries
Of this good person that you seek
As they are nowhere to be found
I am but another selfish freak
 Feb 2020 Dev
I need an outlet
 Feb 2020 Dev
All I want to do is


To yell so loud

The world around me shakes

As these endless feeling

keep piling up




And I know very soon

I'm just going to

B  R  E  A  K

 Feb 2020 Dev
Rule #4
 Feb 2020 Dev
Your past does not
                           determine your future...
 Nov 2019 Dev
Not yet
 Nov 2019 Dev
I can't love you, Not yet
How can I when your words are so hard to forget?
They aren't malicious, or cruel
they aren't filled with bad intent
But her name keeps ringing in my head

You've fallen in love with me you say

You wouldn't tell me such lies
Though I can't bring myself to believe
Even with that heartfelt look in your eyes
You warm my heart, make me smile
You've shone a new light into my life
You are kind to me, good to me

Though your words conjure strife

I know in your heart you still love her dearly
I would have to be blind in order not to see it so clearly
There is no future in me, as you hurt from the one of her
And perhaps in the years to come you say

Who knows what will happen with her

I don't expect or want plans for a wedding or a family
I just wish that while with me now
You'd think of the us of now
, not a future of her
So how can I love someone who's heart can't choose?
She's like a haunting ghost that's long overdue

And you know it hurts me, it tears me apart
That you're still longing for her not so deep down in your heart
So forgive me for being hesitant and unable to return those words
But I'm only trying to protect myself from the hurt
Because I care about you so dearly it drives me insane
But I can't allow myself to fall in love with you
Not yet

I'm sorry that I'm trying so hard to protect myself, but I know if I allow myself to fall in love I will just be more torn apart in the future. There is no security blanket or safety for being with him forever, I know that and I don't expect that of him, I just want him to believe in us of now, but his longing for her and that future hope of getting back together is what kills me. He cares for me and loves me, but he still loves her as well, So how can I allow myself to be so vulnerable and to give my all to a boy who see's me only as tempory.
I'll never match up to her, so again I'm sorry but I can't allow myself to fall in love with you. Not yet.
Next page