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  Oct 2018 Dev
c
I spent last night
Crunching numbers

10
Times you led me on

9
Nights we stayed up talking

8
Weeks since you decided I wasn’t worth it

7
Crushed up poems on the floor of my room

6
Outfits thrown aside to make sure I look my best

5
Days I spent trying to get over you

4
Friends that know what we did

3
3 a.m FaceTime calls

2
Coats of mascara

1
Big regret
  Oct 2018 Dev
Elle
I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you

I miss the silly girl in me
Who though we would love eternally

A song, a place I’m right back there
Young, naive without a care

Before I really grew into me
There was always us, you and me

Good times planted in my mind
Bad boxed up somewhere behind

Now I’m older now I see
You were never good for me

I had bad days, tears and sad days
Not knowing what I had done days

Try harder tomorrow days
Fail again and again days

I miss the person you could sometimes be
When you were not hurting me

So do I miss you, don’t you see
I miss the person I though you could be

I miss the way I loved you
With every breath I loved you
Dev Oct 2018
Some people say change comes from within
that if you want to change, you will.
Some people say that change
comes with the rain.
That we don't have a choice in the matter,
that mother nature decides when, where, and how
we wash away who we were
and replace it with an entirely new
picture.
I feel as though I'm at the whim of
something I don't even understand.
That nothing is ever the same for
two mornings.
my days are like snowflakes,
completely unique of each other,
yet my evenings are always the same.
I'm never who I was,
and I'm always becoming.
Waiting for that moment where I find
"The Real Me(TM)"
The rain is coming,
and there's no where to run,
so again my little chalk outline is washed away,
to be replaced again with
a new picture.
I love love love love love rain, its the best thing in the world.
Dev Oct 2018
My heart is fragile
i attach to easily
so when he promises little things
and doesn't keep them
it stings too much
and
i cant bear to feel pain
when his name is attached to it
  Oct 2018 Dev
Luna
This is for you:

-the girl who is so ashamed because of her acne,
-the girl who cries in front of her mirror because she doesn’t
look like Picasso’s muse,
-the girl who forgot how to smile because of her problems,
-the girl who cries her eyes out every night because of him,
-the girl who is so terrified to attach because of her past relationship,
-the girl who is different from the others,
-the girl who wants to save every soul she meets, except hers,
-the girl whose heart, blood and soul runs wild,

-you are so much more than the sprinkles from your skin.
-you're not Picasso’s muse, but you definitely are God’s muse.
-don’t waste your life being so stressed, just enjoy the journey.
-you need to be strong.Cry your heart out, but stop,your tears are too worthy , make them rare, for the real ones.
-try to love yourself first, then someone else.
-your future is not defined by your past.
-you need to save yourself first.
-run with them, darling, and never look back.

This is for you, girls.
You, no matter what, are good enough.
You are lovable.
You are strong.
You are independent.
You are different.
You are rare.
You are you, and that is your power, learn how to use it.
love yourself, girl
Dev Oct 2018
I finally reached what I like to call
"A mini goal" today.
It's not something completely important
it's not life changing
it's no milestone,
but it's a tiny step towards one
And it really is a shame
that I still can't bring myself to feel proud
because I know I'm destroying myself
in the process
of trying to fix myself
I'm not so sure that it's all worth it anymore
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