Time doesn't steal anything from you,
it changes you.
It lets you watch your grandmother,
a strong woman, sturdy,
a force to be reckoned with:
shrivel,
become small.
Her size reminding you
of when you'd lay beside her
as a child.
Her back to you, watching her massive shoulders move
like calm waves on a shore with each
breath.
The presence of that giant
chased the nightmares away.
And you realize that it was the only time that feeling small
felt so good,
and being big now
felt so terrible.

Time doesn't steal anything from you.
It conspires with your brain
to help you perfectly
remember
the time the boy you loved gazed down from above you,
the moment
before a kiss.
The moment that will always feel longer
than any other in your life.
But time obliterates any words that were said
from memory.
Obliterates any useful information,
any conversations.
Does not allow you to remember
each
and every day.

The momentum of time allows you infinite moments
to live in your past
today.
Like living in the moment
that you woke up on your 5th birthday
to your mom who spent
all morning
blowing up hundreds
of balloons.
Time let's you remember that feeling
of opening your eyes
to magic.
Remember feeling more loved
than you will ever feel.
Time gives you this moment,
but takes away
the day.

Time is indifferent as you plummet into the future.
Dragging behind you the images and words of
an optimistic kid
that you hope to keep alive.
Time is indifferent
as it demands you wake up,
and start over
again
and
again.

feet on below
mind up above
it is yet to know
where she wanders, my love

come down already
from the foam of your dream
you float yet you're steady
playing notes down a stream

I can hear your voice
and its echo in distance
it's a morning rejoyce
it's a call to existence

waking up and it's you
holding me in a clutch
so simple, so true
your smell, your touch

in the night then you shine
standing in for the day
I can not make you mine
but I want you to stay

the sun standing up there
looks below when you rise
because under your hair
you're the moon in disguise.

Pills Pills Pills
Catch me in free-fall
A medicated safety net

I wear my diagnosis
          Major Depressive Disorder
Like a scarlet letter

Existing on an island
          Between crazy and calm
          Lost and found

Pills Pills Pills
Pull me out of obscurity
So I can begin to forget.

I was born with baggage
The stamp of your disease
     branded on my newborn flesh.

I watched you cry behind doors
And collapse with exhaustion after school
     until your sadness infected me.

20 years later
I take the same pills
     covered in your fingerprints.

Today I cannot write,
my soul crawling in  misery
I have a lump in my throat
and all I can do is fight the wish
to cut it out.

At the end of my fingertips
the words are dying
as I touch them with my red nails
and in my mind I am slowly realising
that the world is not the place
where I belong.

I'm a misfit,
a creep ,
my ugliness  building walls in my soul,
my eyes are bleeding,
while in my heart I am still wondering
whether I deserve to be loved.

upon myself the sky cries
icy teardrops
cracking up my brain
my skin hurts
and in my soul
the answer to my question is a big NO.

*No, love will never find its road towards my soul.

You came into my life
the way spring comes to wake up everything around
planting flowers in my soul
making the sun rise
and the stars shine
when all I could see was darkness
and moonless skies.

Like a prisoner dreaming of freedom
I spend my darkest hours dreaming of you
in my heart there was such a hole
and you with a smile
filled it whole.

Water has a bad taste
cause my lips are pinning for your sweet wine
and nothing  can compare with the elixir
my hearth wants to have

I would fall in hell a million times
to feel the way your flame burns my body,
I will prey to all the gods of the world
to  have you in my eyes
the way I have you in my mind

I am a prisoner and you such a free soul
I am a prisoner
dreaming of the freedom
the freedom you are
in my weakest bones.