As it is, your words cut me like a knife.
I don’t know how much longer I can take the pain.
For the next couple of months, I’m going to put aside a pill for every thing you say to me that hurts me.
And when I finally can’t take it anymore, I’ll swallow all the pills at once and end it all.
Simple

I wish I was your
One and only rather than
Your one of many

I have never understood people who cut themselves.
Like seriously, what in gods name possesses you to take a blade and slice into your own delicate flesh?
I am a religious girl, I believe that our bodies belong to God and it is not ours to hurt.
Last night, I took a dull blade and scratch my wrists until they were swollen. I scratched for such a long time until blood slowly drew and drip down my wrist falling between my legs in my bathtub.

I’m sorry that I never understood before.

I’m sorry that I never felt bad.

But I understand now.

I cut myself because any other pain other than the excruciating pain I feel on a daily was worth feeling.
The worst part is, I believe that I deserve the scars because my pain is self-inflicted.
I know he’s the very source and refuse to let go.

“There is nothing harder than putting yourself back together each morning.”

That is the saddest most true thing I have read in a while.

I want to ******* scream.
I so badly crave your arms wrapped securely around me at night when the nightmares start.
I want you to be the one who dabs my tears away and hugs me while breathing in the scent from my messy hair.
But you’re never there and it’s physically starting to weaken me because it actually hurts as to how much I ******* love you.

Knowing that its going to be a while until I see you again leaves my body numb. Every bone, muscle and joint just barely picks itself up every single day to live my excruciating life.

The crazy thing is, despite knowing that I had an addiction to you, I still consumed you wholeheartedly at the first opportunity I had knowing that consuming you, my drug, would corrode my body inside and out.

Every sensation I felt with you still lingers on my body, your lips on my lips, your hand on my chest, your torso pressed up against mine….

The weird thing is, I’m not sad because I won’t see you for a while,
because I gave my whole self to you, because the feeling of your body still remains on mine…

The ****** up thing is, I am sad because the smell of your cologne is gone from the sweater I wore when we met and ravished each other for the first time.