Holding the smile on my face feels fake,
Talking about it only brings more hate,
I fear it might already be too late,
Outrunning time and tempting my fate.
They stand around me laughing at my mistake,
Not knowing what I'd do to just not be awake,
To not feeling as pointless as the poems I make.
Watching as it gets harder,
Drowning in the running water,
Hoping they turn the tap off at my offer,
But it brings them pleasure—to watch me suffer.
Laughing while i slip away,
Taking drugs to help the ache,
Taking pills like candy—with a smile on my face.
I fade away to only a whisper,
Watching life flicker.
The tap water is turning into a lake,
Slowly pulling me below the surface,
And all I do is hope to break.
But even drowning I still breathe,
Clinging to truths I half believe.
The mirrors cracked, but it doesn't lie,
It just tells half the truth, yet
There's still a fire beyond this cry.
The current pulls, but I don't cave,
Scars may flood, but I won’t drown—
This time, I swim in the lake. Barely not going down.