Ariel: Poems

Am I OK?

Ariel Feb 2020

Am I OK?

Do I even know what happiness looks like?
Were you eve happy?
Do I only care about my own happiness?
Do I truly know what love is?
Am I OK?
I don't know anymore

Brandon

Ariel Feb 2019

Brandon

It's about time
Time I tell them your name
Brandon
Gorgeous blonde hair
Hazel eyes...
But they're filled with lies...
You're not my type..
You're far from it
But I fell for. It
Was it worth it... Brandon?
Was it worth it...
You said I was different from the rest...
That I treated you the best...
Now I'm sitting here crying...
Because you Said you loved me...
Now those words I cannot trust...
A knife into my heart you ******...
Now I can't have a relationship....
Because my self I cannot trust...
And I won't do what you did to me...
To someone else...
Fix your self...
Because you broke the girl who loved you the most...
Worst part...
She.. Me..
I STILL LOVE YOU!

#brandon

Cole

Ariel Jan 2020

Cole

We've been off and on
When we're apart my heart is gone
I love you and you love me too
But you've left so many times
That.. I'm sitting here crying
For fear of when you'll leave me again.

Cole ❤️

Ariel Dec 2019

Cole ❤️

I may not be the prettiest or the smartest girl but I will love you the hardest I will alway make time for you and never have you second guessing where I'm at or who I'm talking to cause I only want you I may not know alot about hockey but I'll still watch it with you I may not have the patience to go fishing but I'll support you in doing it and go with you if you'd like heck momma sue goes with Richard and reads a book I could do that for you ill even bait a hook and buy you supplies I may not be the best at playing pool but I'll still go with you and have fun and learn more and improve my skills i may not be the easiest to deal with at times but I promise you I'm worth it i may not be the perfect girl in any aspect But I promise to be perfect for you Because I love you
And you're perfect to me
And I love the way you smile when you're next to me

Dear future lover

Ariel Jan 2019

Dear future lover

Dear future lover
I'm so sorry
I'm a little unsteady
The weight on my shoulders is a little too heavy
I would say I want you
But I'm not ready
See someone I loved has gone and left me
I loved him
And he didn't love me
He used me and teased and mentally ****** me
Now I want to love you but I'm not ready
Dear future lover...
I'm so sorry

#hurt #love #past #future

Did you love me... Do you love me?

Ariel Feb 2020

Did you love me... Do you love me?

I wanna grow with someone
No I wanna grow with you
I used to smile every time I saw your face
Now my heart aches and sorrow takes its place
I loved you... I love you
But did you love me... Do you love me?

Fuck love

Ariel Jan 2019

**** love

Why is everyone searching for love
Love *****
You get so used to being with them everyday
Now you're alone and broken cause another one left again
I say **** love
But I love love
So let the cycle start again

#**** #love

Fuck you

Ariel Feb 2019

*******

I just wanna say *******.
But I still love you.
You shouldn't have touched me.
Look what you've done to me...
Ever I now ever gonna be happy?
You were already broken...
But you didn't have to break me...
Now I play the game safely..
And never feel too closely.
I walk away too fast
Because I'm hurt from my past.
I want something to last...
But my heart isn't healed from the ****...
I'd love to burn your memory to ash...
And say *******...
But **** WHY DO I STILL LOVE YOU!

#heartbreak #fuckyou #love #hurt #pain

I'm not quite ready

Ariel Apr 2019

I'm not quite ready

I saw you Thursday
You were a bit different if I'd have to say
You smiled and talked to me...
Acted as if it never happened
But for me I still fight it everyday
I start fights with the new guy
But he knows. It's me healing from an old guy
He knows all about you
Why'd you message me...
Why did I come out to see you...
I don't want you or love you
Not anymore
Someone else is fightingg to get in
But I haven't let him in yet
Because. I have it locked from the inside
Due to the pain from the old guy.
The old guy being you

I'm sorry

Ariel Jan 2019

I'm sorry

It started out so fast
I fell. So. Hard.
I wanted it to. Last
But now that's in the past
I still love you.
But not the way you want me to
I know it sounds cliche
But I meant it when I say
It's not you it's me
I fell so fast
With burning passion
It burnt so fast
It faded out like that years fashion
I still want you In my life
But in this story I can't be your wife
I know I hurt you. Pretty bad
And cut you really deep
And seeing you hurt makes. Me weep
I wanna see you smile again
I wish we could do it over again
With a better end
You're still one of my best friends

#sorry

Is this healing?

Ariel Mar 2019

Is this healing?

You messaged me today
I listened to what you had to say
My heart didn't hurt
You didn't try to flirt
You apologized to me
And said you'd like to see...
You'd like to see me and catch up
I said okay
I could talk to you today
Is this healing
Because I have no feeling
I have no feelings left for you

#healing

I thought it was real

Ariel Jan 2019

I thought it was real

I'm really down for you
Like I don't know. What to do
Except be there for you
And do what you need me to. Do
I can be my self
And not hide on the shelf
I cook and clean.
And don't make. A scene
I listen and care
And smile when you're there
I get so. Happy when you come home
And I finally am not alone.
You make me so happy
And I know this sounds so. Sappy
But gah Boi you something special
You make. My heart skip a beat
So caring and sweet
You've became my best friend
I can tell you anything
No secrets no lies
I. Can see. It in your eyes

It's not you it's me, or is it?

Ariel Sep 2019

It's not you it's me, or is it?

My Mind Is Screaming TOday
Saying *** YOU'RE Not OK
STARTED As A normal day
THEN MY Thoughts began to decay
Thought Of Me And YOU
HAPPY THOUGHTS
THEN Outta The BLUE
The Thought Of Losing YOU
NOT BECAUSE YOU can't love me
But BECAUSE Im Unlovable
This Is Why They Always LEAVE
I'm Mentally broken
I'm too needy
I Attach so quickly like a leech
They ALL End Up LEAVing
ONE TOLD Me I was the best but left me anyway...
If I'm THE Best THEN WHY Give Me Away?
I am happy....
So WHy do I wanna cry today
I Am Beautiful in and out...
It's MY Mind That's the one that likes to shout....
Am I Unlovable...
Or DO I convince my self I am?
DO I Make Them LEAVE...
Or Do I LOVE TO Hard?
Is IT Actually them like they say
... or is it me...
And I'm Really Not OK

#mentalbreakdown

#mental #breakdown

Love hurts

Ariel Jan 2019

Love hurts

I tried to find you in everyone I meet
Your hair. You eyes your smile your personality
But no one will be what I want...
Because you're the one I want...
But I'm not good enough
I'm sorry I can't be good enough for you
That's why I need to go
Because. The pain of not being yours
Is opening up my sores

#love #hurts

Lumina

Ariel Jan 2019

Lumina

Driving is my relaxation
Helps me ease my frustration
But the car I have now
Doesn't help I hate it so much
Doesn't even have a clutch
It's so full of rust
It's a car I barely trust

My broken heart

Ariel Jan 2019

My broken heart

I am just a broken girl with pain in her heart...
For I will never be able to love the way I loved you for fear of being hurt...
But I will try my best to move on and love with all my heart...
But I can't promise alot...
Coming from my broken heart

#broken #heart

My side

Ariel Jan 2019

My side

I didn't leave you for him
I wish you wouldn't listen to them
I left you for me
I just wish you could see
I wasn't happy
Afraid to be lonely
Yes you treated me perfectly
But it just wasn't meant to be
This thing between you and me
It wasn't meant to be
More than just a friend to me
I like our friendship
But I can't stand being tied hip to hip
I'm not an alcoholic
I take sip by sip
And it hurts to see
You drinking more after me
It's temporary happiness
But that life isn't full of bliss
Keep going like this
And the good moments you're gonna miss

#herpointofview #thetruth

Sadness

Ariel Jan 2019

Sadness

The saddest people hide be hind a smile
But it. Only. Lasts for. A. Little while
They try to fix everyone who's broken.
But it leaves them aching
Why do I wanna help you
When I am as well feeling blue
I honestly don't know what to do
I wanna break down and cry
But I don't want my pain to catch your eye

#sad

The bottom

Ariel Jun 2019

The bottom

I feel my life slipping through my hands
I honestly don't understand
I had my own place, a car and friends
Now im at my dad's with a broken car and just him
Watching all my loved ones lives come to an end
On June 13 of 2019
Is this the bottom or does it get better?
My face have never been wetter
I want to give up and give in
But "it will get better" ok.... When?
This is not a suicide note...
Just a thought that my mind wrote..

#riplexi
#10/27/95-06/13/19

This is me

Ariel Jan 2019

This is me

She's crying one the inside
Afraid to reach out for help
Every word, she says is a silent yelp
She can't find her way
She's run out of words to say
She's hurting inside
But too afraid to let anyone in
The girl you saw today
Is honestly... Not okay

#relatable

Untitled 1

Ariel Feb 2020

Untitled 1

You're not a bad guy
You're just coming from a hurt place
I thought I could be your saving grace
But I guess that wasn't the case
Now my heart is off pace

Untitled 2

Ariel Feb 2020

Untitled 2

You inspired me to better myself
But not that you've gone I don't care about myself
I can't eat
I can't sleep
I don't want to leave my house
I'm so depressed
And so stressed
What am I gonna do next

Untitled 3

Ariel Feb 2020

Untitled 3

I had plans
I had goals
But with out you
I feel so cold
I'm lost and all alone
I just wanna go home
But when I do
I think of you
You're all around my home
You are my home
I miss you
I love you
I'm sorry

Your love is my curse

Ariel Dec 2019

Your love is my curse

Tried to get you outta my mind
But my heart has you in rewind
Everyone says you'll hurt me again
But I honestly don't care in the end
I just want you and only you
I tried to replace you
To make him into you
I honestly don't know what to do
I've made him feel so blue
But oh the touch of your lips when we kiss
Is something I always miss
I'd move anywhere for you
For you there's nothing I wouldn't do
My heart is yours
It's like a curse
A spell I never want broken

— The End —