a fool
i am
  to convince myself
  that the words that flowed
  like the sound of a perfect melody
  from your lips,
  were the words
  of an honest man.

I’m scared as f*ck
to want you.

But here
I am,

Still wanting you
anyway.

I'm surrounded by these four walls,
My thoughts bouncing off of them;
Loud and clear.

I find comfort in these four walls,
Knowing that my cries for help never leave,
That when I wail at night no one can get to me.

I also feel trapped by these four walls,
They make me feel small,
The white colour blinding me when I come up for air each time.

But these four walls know me better than anyone else here,
They know the real me.
Because when I leave these four walls every morning,
I leave as a new me.

i used hate the way i would be awake at four in the morning.
i remember the way everything used to feel so haunting and scary.
there were no words to describe how deep inside my mind i would sink into,
scared and afraid of no return.

but now,
oh now,
i love it.
i fell in love with the quiet.
there was no more worry or fear.

I am alone so don't call I won't pick up the phone dripping from my mouth as I lie cold will be foam I am so done with losing friends with evil comments that never end die die bye bye no more taking off to fly die die bye bye