i've never felt more comfort
than of the heat that radiates
from your skin
i've never felt more alive
than with the love that comes
from your lips
and i want to hold you close
closer than i've ever held
anything

and i don't want to let go

i
There's a boy I've seen
He's keeping me awake
But leaving me alone
We never spoke, not really,
And yet my thoughts
All lead to him.

ii
He's not much of a man
Looks just like a boy
He's got a cherub's face
And laughter just like wind
Still, he's big enough
To make me feel small.

iii
He wears this dumb beanie
In the middle of august
But it draws my eyes back,
Time and again
His sweet hair falls in his eyes
But his grin pierces through.

iv
I guess I like him for his charm
And the easy way his fingertips
Glide across a keyboard
Maybe it's the nerdy shirt
That first caught my eye
But his smile pulled me in.

v
I don't know why I'm so obsessed
It's not like we're even friends
I have no excuse for feeling badly
When I never even tried
Anyhow, it matters naught
I'll never see him again.

I've spent years
Trying to find romance
In the tragedy I swore was love
But there was no love
In that basement

There was obsession

I was madly in love
With the idea of being in love
I let it consume me
I spent a year trying to patch myself up
For nothing

There was no love
There was no wounds
But **** I swear

Sometimes I still feel the scars

Had I know that yesterday
Was the last time
I’d have the chance to hold your hand
I’d never let go
I’d squeeze your carpal bones
So close that they’d snap
Built pressure bursting blood from your fingertips
Seeping onto my own skin
A subtly violent fusion
That would still hurt less
Than you walking away.

you have ruined me for everyone else
every text, i think is you
every call
every "notification"
every doorbell, every knock,
every word belongs to you
you have ruined me for everyone else
or perhaps,
you've ruined everyone else
for me.