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i am
whoever you say that i am,
and that's all that i'll ever be,
(to you).
Falling in love
is like holding your breath,
you will constantly ache
but you're afraid to let go of the way
her hair smells of lavender and spring.

Falling in love
is like bursting into flames,
you will perpetually burn
but you're scared you'll forget
the warmth of his chest when he holds you.

Falling in love
is like taking the first flight,
you will struggle, you will stumble,
you will fall,
but once you taste the clouds
and dance with the breeze,
you are limitless.
Tried being the good girl,
I got nothing.
Listens to whatever you say,
I got nothing.
Did what I think was best for us,
I got nothing.
Pretending to be happy even if I'm not,
I got nothing.
And now loving you even if you don't feel the same,
*I got nothing.
the modernists believed that
a whole life could be
represented in a day
like a strand of DNA
representing the whole
of a person.

if that were true if life
all of it
could be fit into
a day
any day
this day
then

this day, my day,
is cold tea
and empty rooms.

I forgot to have breakfast
and tried to write.
notes
post-its
pens
are scattered across my desk along with
empty cups
and passing thoughts.

if this day, my day,
is all of my life then
there is
so little
love
in it.


if this day is all there is
it has so little
meaning.


living for a day is dangerous she said she wrote

I wanted to walk alongside a river
to see where it would
take me

instead
I sat
at my desk
again

today
is what my life is.
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