Stop refreshing your messages.  He has not replied. He will not reply. Delete all his words. Just because he said he cared for you when he was drunk, doesn't mean he will remember when he is sober.

Pistol dreams.
Exaggerated hopes.
Intense ideas of love, furious desires for the stars to be in reach.

Teenage ideals. Everything is deep,
Or can be.
An elephant carries a heavy load but can hold it easier than anything else.
Deep? Shallow? Dumb?
Depends on who is asked.

The future is screaming,
Rolling forward like a train at unimaginable speeds,
Meanwhile I am writing,
Thinking of things,
That won't heal the sick,
Or feed the hungry.

However,
It seems lifechanging,
When the words flow right,
Or throw hope and love together in some new way.

But are they actually?

You love what you love.
When you want to love it.
For as long as you want to love it.
You are who you are.
You are forever unique.
You are literally a miracle.
This is beautiful.
You are free to love.
Free to be you.
Most are normal,
But some are lucky.
Some of us get to be weird.
And sometimes it's hard to be weird,
Normal people don't get it.
Why poetry can raise the hair on your neck,
Why a math problem makes you smile,
Why the little moments in life str the biggest.
And even though most people think weird people are well weird,
They are wrong,
Weird is lovey.
And weirdness is spreading,
Because being weird is a blessing,

Tonight there are no deep thoughts floating through the room.
No wishful words wandering woesomely in my brain.
Just dreams of sleep.
Visions of a light darkness.
Not the evil but the peaceful.
So tonight sleep will come,
Instead of thoughts,
And this
Is
Good.

His personality,
Geeky yet refined.
His knowledge incredible,
Even his love.

When you meet a guy,
Your heart screams try.
Mine did..

my mother once warned me of
addiction
in the form of a bottle
but never told me about
you
and your pale blue eyes would
drive me to every AA meeting
I've ever been to
(s.j.b)