Everything I feel.
Every memory that comes back to haunt me.

I just keep running from them.
Knowing they can never be redeemed.

Some days are a burden on me.
Other days, I see a ray of hope.

I need to remind myself
To stay in the present.

Ignore the things that cannot be changed.
And face my future
With a smile.

No matter how difficult some days can be.

Like glass.
He saw right through me.

Right down to my core-
Where everything was in pieces.

Lost with a fragile heart.

Verbally and emotionally abused.
Shunned from reality.

To bleed was her escape.
She had her words taken away one night.

Voiceless
Suicidal.
Too distorted to have a mind of her own.

Selling herself to strangers.
She never left so numb.

The world was bleak.
She only lived in her shadow.
The memories of him.

She took her luck too far
She made a deal with life-
Choose the wrong path and you'll come face to face with Death.

Death came and took her soul.
'I love you' it whispered.
Silence enveloped her body.

Shattered in to pieces,
Naked on deaths bed.
She was cremated into a lost soul.

No number of cuts were enough
To take the agony away.

An imprint of her identity was sewn on to her heart.

How much longer will I have to remember?
How many times will I have to tell myself to 'just forget it'?

I can not seek revenge,
I mustn't let death win.

One day
I will have the power to **** off the memories of you.

i will keep living.
Give hope to others.

I will create poetry
from this reality you've given me.
I will break this silence
which you've permanently stitched in to me
and made a part of my life.

Lost in time
These words aren't mine.

Unable to see reality
I plunge in to the darkness.

My hopes distort my dreams.
It seems I can’t tell them apart.

I fear I will never find my calling.
I feel alienated
By my own consciousness.

I don't feel I am ever on the right track.
Everything shifts
From one place to the next.

An uncontrolled mind
Feeding me only lies.

I am my own burden.

I'm walking on glass.
Every step is a risk I take.

Only to fall through the fragile shattered pieces.

And from there
I start again.

These feelings that stir within.
I keep lashing out.

Hurting myself
Instead of standing my ground.

Im weak.
Desperate
And alone.

I lose all sense of control.
Naive and small.

Lying in cold
Painful regret.

I let them walk all over me.
Like a carpet full of stains.

Fear,
Shame,
and regret.

When will I get it right

I am nothing.
Only a shadow
To be forgotten in the end.

Grieving for my lost child
A part of me I never knew.

For she was taken away from me
One night
Long ago.

She was hurt by a man
Taken to her grave
Where her limp body lied.

I cried for her loss.
She lost everything she held on to
For those last minutes on earth.

Till this day
I grieve her death.

She only longed to be loved
And seen for who she truly was.

A fragile heart-
Bound to break
in any moment.

A soulless creature
Feeding herself

To others
Who only crave flesh
And dispose the heart-
Where all her true colors lie.

She neglects herself
Losing control of her self worth
She spirals down.

In to her abyss-
Of self mutilation
And abuse.

She never was able
to find herself.

Lost in the cold
Dark world
Of suppressing
Her emotions.

She only found love
When the blade was pulled.

And there,
lies never spoken
Words of truth.

My age does't define me.
I'm underdeveloped
and mentally delayed.

I burden others
with my ways-
Of making mistakes
Which even a child
would't make.

I see myself
as a weight
on everyone I touch.

Like an illness
that can't be understood
or seen.

I feel at a loss-
knowing I'm odd
Unlike others my age.

I feel independent-
Only to see,
that in reality
I'm not.

Premature at birth
is not an excuse.
To others around me,
I need to try to function
the same.

But I never get it right.
As if I try only to bring myself
back down.

To feel I'll always stay delayed
and betrayed by
my own efforts.

They say I was a miracle baby.
Surviving a 90% possibility
of death or permanent mental damage.

But no one knows
This all comes with a price-
That only degraded my worth
as I grew older.

I can't blame my own birth.
I know it's a blessing to be alive.

It only makes me wonder.
if others would perceive me differently.
As stupid.

The real world
may turn away
when they see me.

How little I could do.
However;
I was born to stay alive.

With this underdeveloped mind-
To be able
to empathise with others
in pain.

Others can judge me,
but I'll never judge myself
anymore.

I will meet others
who carry the same
heavy heart.

And we will create
a movement-
To love others just as they are.

The iridescent light
Lingers in to her eyes.

I feel silence envelope me
As I stare in awe.

Her voice whispers
She will come back to me.

I watch her footsteps,
Slowly fade.

With the sound of the rustling leaves
An imprint left
in to the soft soiled ground.

As I see her
She smiles back at me.

Her presence aglow.
I feel her embrace me.

A last goodbye.

Our last moment together on earth.
As we silently cross paths
Only to find
that we were't meant to be.

As I say my last goodbye.
Tears stream down my eyes.
For I feel guilt
In not understanding you better
Not being patient enough.

But, now I see.
I did all that I could
To give you time and respect.
Only to realize you never loved me.

You were too selfish
and afraid to love me back maybe.

I changed my self for you.
But
It seems you never realized what I did
Only to make you see what I would do for you.

I only wanted affection.
But,
You could care less
About making me feel cared for.

Although,
Maybe I was too needy for you.
In the end,
It's better that I broke up with you.

You taught me to never expect things.
To love myself more
In case, the one you love does't love you back.

Everything happens in life
For a good reason.
Whether it's good or bad.

Life teaches us more than we think it does.

The calm always comes after the storm.