Do me a favor
Save me some time
Write down those lies
At least I can shine a light on it to know determine whether it's see through

I'm somebody's daughter
My lungs fill with water
I scream and I shout
Fled ideas of doubt
Hope is depleting
People misleading
And my life line is defeating the inevitable
Who the **** are you, Mr. Incredible?
Your ego is bigger than my dreams
You're suffocating me
You need to **** that thing
It's driving you insane
Pretty soon no one will want to hear your name
There's a skidmark on your ego, shame
You should be afraid
My words are of envy
I speak when you spit
I kick when you hit
Please back up off me, *****
You don't wanna be me
You don't wanna see me
I hope I see you bleeding
Red and blue are colors to see
I'm somebody's lover
My heart fills with clover
My mind fills with doubt
I scream and I shout

Baby, I'm not Angry anymore
I'm Disappointment

Suus 'got mammam exitibus
Unde et amor alterius innititur
*Quare id faciam, quod est nimis

Your priorities.

I don't know what to write
When you're in pain and crying
I don't know the right notes
To sing the right words for you
And I don't have the right notes
To play for you to rid your pain and suffering

When I don't know what to write
When I don't know what what notes to sing of play it's always you who's there

I can't write anything when you come to mind
You make my writers block show
You make my singing voice speechless
You make my notes sound flat and lifeless
I don't know what to write, sing, or play to make you feel beautiful
I can't sketch away your feelings
I don't know what to write
I don't know what to sing
I don't know what to play
to comfort you
But I can be there
*I can hold you when you're crying and in pain
I will try to say the right words
do the right right things

Leave me the hell alone
Play the broken record behind your own eyes and see that
I'm already dead
Just leave it be
Let this roadkill be on your hands
You swore you'd always remember wiping the carcass from the windshield
And scraping it out from under your wheels
Be still,
Your heart seeks these sick thrills,
then later forgets them
Running over them with ****** hands directing the blood drenched wheel

The sky is blue
But the concrete is black
I'm conditioned to look down
And think of all that I lack
The sky is purple
The sidewalk is grey
Everyday,
Everyday I'm okay
The stars are bright
They have fuel to shine in darkness
Can't I just experience a time of rightness

I'd say my biggest crime is loving
Cause it goes against the laws of my heart
The biggest commandment I've broken was caring
That is why my soul is oh so demanding
It's a chronic pain measurement
My soul is collateral for this huge embezzlement
Doesn't my heart hold any sentiment?
I was never meant for this

Everybody has their ****** up ways,
Funny thing is that it has a way of coming back on you.

They teach you that life has many possibilities

*But they never teach you whether or not they're all believable

"Say something
As I say nothing but useless ramblings
Say something
As I stare at a painting
Say something that will let you in
Say something
Before my heart goes on lockdown
Say nothing
Say something
Before I decide to close up on you
Don't say it
What you're thinking of
Don't say that either
Don't ask what you're gonna ask
Cause it's too late to say it,
to ask it
It's over now
There's no chance
There's no fixing it now
Just leave me and my friends alone
You never cared
You were just someone who I put up with really."
That's what she said
The person who I thought was my friend

Today's my birthday
Finally eighteen
I should be out having fun
Instead I'm here sulking
Over my ex who's dating a baby
But honestly,
That baby can have her
My ex isn't built to keep anything
That's her demise in her little game
But I know I don't love her, too many things about her I knew I couldn't take if the need was before me
She reminds me of my sisters exs excessively
Yeah she was different, but she was also too much the same

And to make this fair
I'll admit I know my own demise
I have slow ears and slow eyes
*****, I unknowingly sabotage
I ain't even gonna lie
I only see it later, after payment's due
Glad I don't **** with you
Cause payment has long been overdue

All these whispered thoughts inside my head
They hate me
I hate me
I'm fat
I'm shy, awkward, and quiet
I'm not beautiful either
Not like other girls
I'm different
I'm weird
I'll never be loved by any guy, even if I loved him
None of my dreams would seem to come true
I won't be the writer I want to be
I won't get married and have kids like I want to
And I'll go out like Juliet in Romeo and Juliet, but without my Romeo because he won't exist
Or I might drown my sorrows in my own blood and wine
Red wine
The blood of wines
I'll drink it down till I don't feel anything anymore, but warm tingles and numbness
I might fill up the bath and grab something to end my pain
But even that is a dream
And it won't come true
None of them do
I've seen better people fail
I'm no better
At least I don't believe I am
*This is what I think of me...

Hollow
The glass between my fingers
The smoke that
Follows
Fills my lungs
Gives my pain replacement
Feel
Myself until I'm numb and aching
I need this nothingness
Real
Emptiness is so confusing
Your eyes can only dream
Your lungs can only
Scream,
Give me my anything
Give me my nothing
I'll change my prayer
My heart's still thumping
My lung's still pumping
Give me nothing
Gotta make me something

I sometimes miss what I never had
I sometimes feel what I've never been through
I sometimes think so much I feel like screaming till my lungs clasp
I sometimes don't feel things at all
I sometimes just don't care but I pretend to for others
I sometimes think I'm too extraordinary
I sometimes wish I were more normal
I sometimes can be stupid and ashamed
I sometimes can be annoying and intruding
I sometimes can be many things and nothing
I sometimes think of all the answers to the questions left unanswered
I sometimes wish I were wiser
I sometimes make mistakes because I'm ******* human
I do so much things sometimes
Wanna go out sometime?

Let it age like fine wine
Cause, baby, for this sipping, I merely do not have the time
So bottle it up
Save it for someone who cares
Save the need to insult somebody
When being mad is a crime you deny
But I'm all fine,
Not wondering my head off about if.
I'm calm
Knowing
That denial has something hidden.

She's afraid of thunder
She's afraid of lightning
I'm afraid of plunder
I'm afraid of fighting
Wish she had the key
Wish someone would crack this heart in half
It's of no use, not anything I want to have
I want everything and nothing beginning at never and ending at forever
I'm a queen with fresh diamond tears on a silk handkerchief
And all I do is complain like a pampered princess
Yet I'm still trapped in a tower of my own making
I built this
I created this hellish feeling
I string along a dedicate in training
Teach me a lesson
Everyone knows I need it
You do
And I do too
Hopefully I can comprehend it

It doesn't even matter anymore
If I exist or not
Or if I'm at death's door
I've knocked on it eleven times and hopefully twelve times a charm
What's the ******* harm?
I'll be gone
Just another life that did not matter
Just another soul buried in the ground
The one you said had a face that was round
The one you said had a heart that was proud
And a spirit so stunning and loud
I was never one meant to live so long
My fate was a song
A song sung from the me inside
I've accepted I'm not good enough
I've accepted the way the world is, but I can't seem to take it cause it drives me mad
And that
That is what shortens my fate
My fate to die
I'll wonder what death's arms feel like and how much Hell scorches in my veins for internity

A thousand words
A thousand times
Words we know
That are lies
“I'm fine."

What if each of us were a small piece of God's soul and the devil only wanted to steal us to weakening him?
I could believe that
Could you?
I don't know why I've thought of this
It just came to me at 6:01am
If we are a small part of his soul why don't we know?
Or does he just create our souls out of his power of faith and love?
The devil takes that away from him to weaken him?
Every soul he takes
Every soul he creates
Is a part of him
And the devil only tries to take it to be ruthless and weaken him
If this were the case I just hope God wins against his old son Lucifer

If not at my worst, you can't get my best.

Why do I look in the mirror and still not like what I see?
You should be happy
But you're not
You should love yourself
But you don't
And you know who I blame for that?
You.
I hate you. God, I hate you.
And I can't blame you, I feel the exact same way.
Why do I look in the mirror and still not like what I see?
It's because of you
I'm sorry.

Sitting on a bridge
Looking at the river water
The moonlight reflects onto my skin giving tonight a better lighting*
Falling in the river, the current pulls me under
I'm not afraid, but I find myself clutching at the water, my instincts kicking in
I get to the bottom
The necklace that slipped from me while the current pulled me down slowly flows down
I stop clutching
And I let the round silver locket fall into my hand
I see the picture of us and the word that's written *Forever

It is so fashionable to let out your crazy in any form.

They only miss you when they're miserable or have nothing to do.

It's amazing how I see things and others don't
Their eyes are ******* in wrong

And I wonder,
If my eyes are ******* in right.

*They just might

And just think
Does your "logic", make more sense than mine?
Put it inside another shoe
Does it fit?
Guess not.

You can show me the door and tell me what to do
But I'd never have the courage to walk through.

Who is this voice in my head?
A demon
My demon,

*Those things are so hard to get rid of

Life after life
Kingdom after Kingdom
Century after Century
Again and again
The hate
It happens, again and again
You cannot tell me my love is a sin when it feels so right
When it feels so just
You cannot tell me what I feel inside is wrong when you have never been inside my heart
You cannot tell me the mate of my soul
You have never touched it, nor seen it to tell me anything so bold
Your will can bend my body to do anything, but your will can never bend my soul
Like the tree who never bowed to any living soul

For someone whose had their heart broken,
You sure do love breaking other's a little bit too much.

I'm stuck in this cycle of rain called a hurricane.

Should never be the biggest place of judgement.

Time can never mend
What was once worthless
What is still worthless
I know they say "one mans trash is another mans treasure"
Not always true
Most men want the same thing
They just want treasure, not the trash
None of them want what's broken
That's why I'm worthless
Not a treasure, yet not trash either
I guess I'm both, yet, neither at the same time
Sometimes I'm this or sometimes I'm that
Dull or shiny, hot or cold, empty or full of thoughts of everything
I'm not a treasure
I'm not a trash
I guess I'm the chest that contains either the trash or treasure
Time will tell
Time will tell but not mend
And someone will have the key
To the treasure or the trash I carry
And they will tell me whether I'm golden or a throw in
But until then
I'm locked
The small chest in my heart locked
I had the key, but someone else has it
And I've never met 'em nor seen them
I had the key when I was a baby, but my guardian angel gave mine away to my true love and she gave me my true love's key
I've kept it in my heart ever since
And he or she has mine
weather they know it or not
And hopefully I won't be afraid anymore
And hopefully they won't either

Pull and pull
Till I rip
Separate me
Sew me back
But I will never be the same
How much can you break me before everything has changed?
This was far out of my range
But you were willing to stretch the restrains
Rearrange my brain
Drive my being insane
I'mma say it all plain
Breaking is an ordinary thang

My walls are caving in
crumbling beneath my touch and echoing my every whispered thought
I'm shaking
I'm breaking slowly inside
My foundation is cracking almost beyond repair
And it's dark inside
I can't see what's breaking
what's falling or what's shaking and crumbling
I can't see what I'm trying to fix
It's like trying to find your hands in darkness
or falling while your still asleep and unaware
I'm a fallen angel I feel
I feel I'm alone but I'm not
Sometimes I feel like my walls should be empty and falling
I feel like the world could stand to lose one more person
But my walls won't fall, won't cave or crumble enough to end me
My foundation won't crack deep enough for me to be lost completely
Sometimes I feel like it's fixing itself only to fall apart again
And then it feels worse
It feels like your slowly getting crushed by yourself
And you just want it to end
and it feels like you're falling inside a dried up well that has no bottom to fall on
Just an endless fall into darkness and nothing

Three girls jumping rope
“One, two, someone's coming for you"
I couldn't help but listen to the old song I used to sing
“Three, four, never open up your door"
I never noticed it had an erriness to it
“Five, six, grab your-"
A piercing sound drums in my ear
Waking up the first thing my eyes see is an old horror movie on TV
“Opps, must have fell asleep."
Click

I could make the most amazing thing in the world
And not know it
Not let anyone see it cause I think it's terrible
I could be very beautiful
But I hate my face as well as my weight and body
I could be anything I wanted
But I think I'll fail at everything so I never try
I could be a lot of things
But I am one thing
A writer and a poet
And if you don't mind me by asking,
What could you be?

How can I look at myself in the mirror and still not like what I see?
Am I just never meant to love me?
Ghastedly
I am ashamed
Of everything I am a part of
A monster I am
But cannot destroy
Can't destroy the pain of many
Can't destroy the pain I feel
Can't detox the poison of man
Can't block everything with steel
How can I look at myself in the mirror and still not like what I see?
Why do I let the monster inside get to me?

Love eventually leaves
*Hearts eventually bleed...

Is everything talking to me?
I don't know
It seems to be
It seems to be telling out my feelings
The words I hold onto, really.-.
But I know this feeling
However it's so painful it feels so new every time
My mind is just letting this time do a drive by
I swear time is killing me more than healing me
My dreams show me killing me!
My soul has a cold sore
And my heart ain't on chill, B
I'm enraged and deranged
But I'm wondering...
Is the universe talking to me
Or am I just pulling all this **** towards me?

Because of me
Your heart is broken
I'm your world
And the skies have taken a token

I'm a world of pain
I'm tattered all over
With poverty and rain

I wish a rainbow would come through
If only this thing could conclude

Because of me
I cannot love
I cannot relax
And I cannot be loved

I'm not willing
My heart is locked
And time will tell
As it ticks on that clock

I need to figure out a way to clear my mind of this world.

"When sweet fruit rot, they have a fowl and bitter taste
But the core still holds the seed of sweetness
All you gotta do is grow nurture the seed."

I'm not worse
But you're no better.

You're so mesmerizing
I couldn't ever believe that you were ever lying