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Ash Jul 2018
Does he know
What I feel every time he calls
Can he hear  how my voice breaks a little
Every time he says please stay on the line
Say anything just don't stop talking or snoring
Has he heard what my roommate says about us
I try telling her we are only friends
She says am too naive to see
How his eyes darken a little
when I talk to some guy
How possessive he gets with me
How he tends to laugh more
How he tends to let his guard down around me
I don't see it because I am too busy having fun
I guess I am that naive
But does he know
Why on my part I linger on our hugs
Does he know am afraid of letting go
I can feel it
Am losing him
That's what they can't see
Am losing my bestfriend
And getting someone else
I don't want at all....Or Maybe I do
  Jul 2018 Ash
She Writes
There is too much regret
In unspoken words
The quiet thoughts
Whispered only to the moon

There is too much longing
In wishful thinking
Daydreams
Can quickly become a nightmare

There are too many tears
Spilled onto pillows
Over suffering and longing
From words unsaid
Ash Jul 2018
What will you do Broken Boy?
Your fears are coming to life
Your blood is boiling,
Your eyes are changing
Your claws are showing,
Your voice is changing
Your skin is breaking
You can't run
You can't hide from yourself
The broken boy in you can't wait to play
What will you do Broken Boy?
What will you do?
Ash Jul 2018
It's not just the piano notes
It's not's its sharps or should I say it's flats
It's not the music sheet
It's obviously not my E major voice
Neither is it how well our voices blend
When the concertmaster says start to
Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

It's not just the Violins
G3, D4, A4, and E5 soothing notes
That keep us playing even when the rest stop
It's not our audiation that keeps as late
Into the night writing,meditating,singing
Laughing at each others crazy lines.
Or your masculine tattooed arms, Strumming the guitar
Neither is it your ability to manipulate your voice to both
Tenor and a Countertenor,so that when the concertmaster says start
To Michael Bolton - When a Man Loves a Woman
It feels like heaven has just opened its doors.

It's not how high I can hit the yala leyo notes
Neither is it my ability manipulate my emotions
So that when the concertmaster says to me Start To
Loren Allred - Never Enough
I give the crowd both my voice and my emotion

It's the memories the two of us make
That lead up to this moment
When the concertmaster says Start
The memories trickle in
The laughs,the anxieties,the fun,the fights
Even the shared pizzas and movie nights
That are all joined with the one thing that we share
Our passion for music,it's culture and giving it life
It's beauty and how freeing and liberating it's words can be
Things we both want to say but really can't
So we use the most basic language we both get
Music
Ash Jul 2018
Am always choosing
Between the lesser of two evils
The lesser of two wrongs
Haunted by the shadow of my mistakes
The guidance of my little successes
  Jul 2018 Ash
Hayden Emily Rose Zhara
Let me tell you
About the man I've been dating
He's gentle
He's sweet
He's kind
He learned exactly
How I like my blankets
For when he tucks me in
And he kisses my forehead
When he leaves.
The man
That I've been dating
Isn't afraid to touch me
When we're out in public
He has no problem
Holding my hand
Or locking me in an embrace
Or kissing me despite strangers
Being around.
The man
That I've been dating
Always gives me
The most understanding look
When I'm talking
About a bad day
Or when I'm telling him
About my traumatic past
Or even when
We're discussing random topics.
The man
That I've been dating
Went out of his way
To bring me syrup
When I ran out for my waffles.
The man
That I've been dating
Has cried
Trying to get me
To see how beautiful I am
Because he so strongly believes it.
The man
That I've been dating
Has the most amazing laugh
And my world gets a little brighter
When he's in it
And he makes me feel
Like I'm enough for him
He sometimes even
Makes me feel
Like I'm too good for him...
Something that
I'm not used to.

The man
That I've been dating
Gives me movie kisses
And the most perfect hugs
Like our bodies fit together
And were made for one another

I never knew
Any relationship
Could be like this
Until I met
The man
That I've been dating
  Jul 2018 Ash
Jessica Paulin
How does your garden grow?

With don'ts and can'ts,
and dying plants,
And feelings you should not know.

Does it grow too fast,
But never last,
And promise to stay but always go

Have the weeds crept in,
Or have they always been ,
In the places they should not go

Tell me how does your garden grow ?

With can'ts and why's,  
And annoying flys,
And water that does not flow

Tell me why should my garden grow ?

I feed it right ,
Pull weeds from sight,
And all dispite an endless feeling of woe.

Tell me will my garden ever grow?
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