Either I write to fill a void or avoid how I feel

Me bottling things up have caused me stress, I have become depressed with all this **** weighting down on my chest

Mix emotions about who I am destroys my mind

Why do I have to settle, when I know I was made to shine

Why do my wants and needs make you think I am trying to over exceed

Expressing myself just gets me looked over and me hiding myself makes people think they can just run over....Me

But now I see,I really do see

You just want me to unleash this beast that dwells inside of me

You want these pretty brown eyes to turn blood shot red and watch in fear as blood vessels burst all around my pupils

You want to see this pretty smile turn gruesome and grim

You want to see the limbs of pass lovers stuck between these rugged sharp teeth that protrude from my mouth

You want to hear me gargling their blood and tears and see me consume what they protested as Love,Want, and Desire

Are you sure you want me to unleash this beast that dwells inside me

WHAT a wonderful day, heart filled with joy, happiness at my door step once again,  IM READY TO TAKE THAT LEAP.... I deserve this warm feeling all over, I deserve this, this tantalizing piece of hope...WAIT WHATS THIS, IT CANT BE, why are these clouds suddenly darkening and im feeling raindrops on my cheek, It was suppose to be a beautiful day....I FOR ONCE WAS GOING TO BE HAPPY, Stop stepping on my sunshine, It was suppose to be a good day. I shouldn't see these dark clouds when I look up at the sky. I guess the forecast lied again or just wasn't ready to give me my sunny day.

I don't care how you leave my life,just as long as you are gone

Jump fences, dive in rivers, your presence never belonged

Wanting to be loved shield me from all the wrong

But as I find myself your mistreatment of me is now shown

I am the queen of what ifs
Sitting on a throne of could've beens

My fears are my loyal subjects
Escorting my dreams to the gallows

My ambitions are now prisoners
To my court of procrastination

I, the queen
Reign over all of this regret

The spring in your steps
And the spring in nature
Playing a match
That let me have a catch
Of a bit of happiness
In all my loneliness

In all my loneliness
This weather makes me
Light as a feather
Dreaming of us together*

Dreaming of us together
In a fairyland
We claim as ours
Where a vast meadow
Filled with flowers
Dancing as the wind blows

Dancing as the wind blows
Taking away my woes
Sun rays kissing our skin
Let the light shine upon us

To have my heart is to know my heart, cherish my heart, and protect my heart

I will not stand for my heart ♥ to be misused

No you will not leave it out in the rain unattended to and unused

This heart of mine is prime time and should always be wined and dined upon without a word being spoken

I take what I need from your heart and leave behind what you need to carry on

No wasted time will I bring , and nor should you bring me

I'm at war with myself and I relive this reality everyday

It's a losing battle if  I am always entering this battle without a plan of action

I beat myself up about decisions I have made that didn't  go how I thought they should have

I never take the time and breathe and look at my options

This battle that I have waged  on myself stirs me from reality

Help me find my way back