Drink the taste from my lips
Below you kiss what I show
To only you
As far as you know
And though I cannot hear your voice
Any
More
I still can feel your soul

I hate to say it
To your face
You make me
Want to ****
The chase
I had to call you
Just to hear you say
Nothing
And when you didnt answer
I knew you were
At least
Awake

Your name
Shoots my heart into two
Your name
Makes me come unglued
Your name throws me against the wall
Your name rubs my **** ever so soft
Your name makes me beg for pain
I love you I love you I love you
Please be with me again

A chicken flocks to birds who can't fly
I swat at a mind reading fly
Take me down to where the bullets shoot the sky and the writing on the walls seem to grammatically resign
Show me where the lights hum low and rent 1st knows nobody is home  
Just driving under the bridge
Where all the ancients sip and wish
And I'm down here looking at parked cars wondering where all the car parts are
It's a color of orange and green a bit of rust when you dwell in the scene it's alot of color and music and Como se dice and we're all abusive

Sitting on the edge of the bed
Time moving forward and back
I wish I had an off switch
Watching the door move by itself
Watching the mirror look around for help
All I know is the clock on the wall moves too slow
Am I still sitting
No
Choking on my saliva
Laying on a pile of coats
And my best friends are the objects in the room
The only ones going through this too
The only ones who really understand how hard I'm trying to get my brain back in my head

Trying to sleep 16 hours a day
Is hard when your mind is hooked on decay
Walking all day back and forth in a hall
Hurts a little bit when the tile starts to crawl
You can't feel when you're starting to sleep but everytime I do my nose starts to bleed
Wish I was with somebody knew but I can't get you to let go of this noose
Would be nice if I could have the other guy
But I'm at a different place in my life
And he's in a situation just trying to survive
And everytime we talk I have to justify
Why it's all okay and it's not that wrong ok now goodnight

I feel you on high
I see you in tides
I want you forever
You kindly decline
I need you right here
You don't seem to care
I helped you to climb
The cliff helped me slide
I still think of you
Each day that we're through
You don't seem to know
Where all that I go
I need you so
You're
All I want
You're all my thoughts
You're all I am

My neighbor and I take showers at the same time
I know because his shower wall is next to mine
He hears my shower water flow through the pipes and I hear his at the same time
My neighbor and I only see each other sometimes
I don't think he works
I work all the time
I don't think he does much except shower and get high
And I know he gets high because one time I heard him while I was getting high at the same time

I can't love just one person
I tried for a long time
My mind wanders and my heart aches
I find myself leaning on your shoes
I find myself smelling your hair
The therapist says I'm bored
I know what would fix it
She suggests painting
I don't want to paint
I don't want to knit
I'd like to see him again
I will see him again
But I can't be with him
And I can't think of him
And I can't love just one person

You make my heart stop
Then jump
High
Higher than you
Hi
How are you
And I know that you
Are always
Happy
With me
A drink of water
Discretionary
And I am unavailable
Because you are unobtainable

On a street
somewhere in nowhere
is where you were killed
when a no one kills someone in nowhere
it burns
when no ones are people with badges and guns
oh how I wish they would have used the guns
but no one is humane in nowhere
only tazers and kicks will do
then the heart stops and the blood pours
and then they decide they're  through
but someone is already brain dead and swollen and blue
and I can't stop crying at even the thought of you
and now you're underground and I can't see through
and now you're underground and there's nothing anyone can do

In the ending of
all that starts with love
all that lies ahead
all that feels nothing
I still think of you
and all the things you'd do
my bruises melted off
and now I'm feeling lost
I can only try
to leave until you pine
for something you can't taste
and if the apartment window stays like it is
and the pantomime outside continues to spin
I can't stay and settle in
I can't waste myself on content

no you see it was totally not like that
you see you see you see
white girl answers clean and clear and crisp and full of syllables
Who is it you like?
i cant say
but you can tell me
ok but if i tell you you cant say
I won't say
ok
you see you see you see
its this one girl
it's not me?
well like you see you see you see

Tongue Mouth- Swish Swash
Tongue Twister- Tongue in Cheek Smile
Time is Coming Up
Take a Step Back
Here's the Rush
Head Starts to Swirl and Collapse-
Cold Beneath- Sticky Grains of Encompassing Cool Fresh-
Up Again- Heavy Head- Can i Hit Again-
Yes- Always and Free
Sheets so Cold and Hard
Bed so Hard
ceiling stark white
Already In
Always- Just a Friend
Body like Lungs- Detached from my Head
Ice Blue Eyes
And... Over
Time is up
Clarity Waits Outside the Door

Take your hands away from me
Please
Don't
You ever think about the repercussions of your actions
Don't talk to me that way
Please
Keep telling me why I'm your favorite
If we could just have one moment together
Our lives would crumble
To nothing
Would change be so bad?
At this point I'm not sure
I think
And then I see you everyday

My key doesn't work
Quite right
In the door it twists
Sometimes
Handle up
Handle down
Hit the top
And click
Still nothing
The cabinets in this room
Belong to you
If you want them to
Come in in-between times
You can
If you want to
But if the door is locked
I can't help you
It sticks
It slides
It's scrapes
I've had to ask several times for help
But they don't know how to
After I've tried so many times
They sometimes will try too
And hit the top
And turn the handle up
Then down
Twist the key
And click
And how easy they make it seem

When words taste sick
And I can't seem to
Say the things
I want to
When air is thick
And I can't breathe
The way I'm
Supposed to
When yesterday was better
Tomorrow can't be worse
When I do what I'm told to
And things still twist and turn

I remember when
You picked at your face
And I didn't realize
You were doing what I was feeling
And if I had known that it might help
I would have done it too
You and I are rare in this world created by you
We feel and think
But now you're gone
And I'm still here
Picking at my face
Like you used to do

This is
The beat
And you are the fire
They dance around you
And when they're gone
You engulf me
And you say
So confused
Why don't you dance around me

I don't get to **** up
And when I do
You don't see it
I fall in line
And you think what a weak coward
Lost in the cacophony of the insecure
Jaded and torn
And did you know I'm better than her
And you carry a badge with you that says
I'm one of you
******* and your coconut milk lattes
Pretentious over weight girl with abusive boyfriend

I
Can't
Find
My
Keys
She said so slowly
As she crumbled
Down the
Staircase
While
We stared
At her

Up and down
The streets of gold
Oh how you must feel
To know that you have gotten old
And made it to the honey fields
I see you've finally found your place
Which of course you've always known
And oh what a relief it was
to get away from home
You wave to us down here
Up in your silver throne
You invite me up
And I have to decline
I'm afraid the ladder just won't hold

On top of Panda Mountain
I saw the ocean grow
It rose above the trees
It melted all the snow
And oh to my surprise
A watermelon tree
With two pandas embracing it
Shaking like 2 leaves
And I don't know just what I saw
To be honest perfectly
And I don't know just was I saw to be perfect honestly

I'm leaving Friday
Because
I can't sleep at night
I can't think straight
And I can't stop thinking
I'm leaving Friday
because
I can't keep fake laughing
I can't keep watching the same dance
And I don't owe you anything
I'm leaving Friday
Because
I'd rather serve in heaven than watch you reign in hell
My heart wants to leave
My mind says to stay and go and stay and go
Maybe I'll leave Monday instead

I'm the one you didn't care to name
You formed an attachment
You rigged a game
And watered a plant
Just enough to grow
It shrivels and reaches
Withing the sun's glow
So it should thank the window
Yes, the one you placed the plant in
Yes, thank you.
Narcissistic *****

Does your spirit swim like mine?
In a sea of ecstasy
In a land of cliche
Does it dig it's way out of the sand
And reach back in when it sees you
Does your spirit ache with fright
And joy
And anger
Like mine.

To the girl who stays up weeping,

   I hope you find some rest. I hope you wake up to the sun's warm rays and feel it's slight caress. I hope you don't remember a thing that made you cry the night before. Of course you will though. You always do. I know you'll stay up weeping, tomorrow night too. It would be strange if you didn't. No, you don't need pills. Well you do. But you don't. Don't. And when you wake up the next day- I hope you forget the night before-again. Even for a minute or two.

If I could see across the sunny ridge
I'd make sure you saw it too and I'd fall back down again
If the Earth could grab you with it's arms
I'd make it let you go even though you'd never know what had happened
I don't need you to pay me in your false gratuity
I know your smile is nothing and aching
You never disappoint me
You're the easiest one to read
And I hope that you can see it someday
Because your mirror shines to bright for you
And the winner isn't always you
And if I threw it all away
Maybe you would see but then you'd watch yourself cry
You're such a waste of time

In desperate times
When the radio doesn't sing like it promises
And the jokes aren't funny
I climb into a box and wait
And after that wait I climb out
And I hear the radio sing the way it should
And the jokes are funny

Ginger ginger ginger tree
Upon the window seal you hang
Taunting me taunting me taunting me slow
Thank you for never letting go
I miss seeing you

I know the greats don't use click bait or even know what that is. I drank my best friend. It left us both dry. Now I've been branded. It's my choice. You have a hold on my soul. I'll never tell you so. He thinks I'm a **** and you think I'm gold. I think I'm neither but what do I know

I just want to tell you that I miss you and I think you're great and there's no one else I'd rather spend the entire night crying my eyes out over than you. But  I don't walk backwards as easily as you so I'll just stay where I am.

Love sometimes,
Me

In the night the tears wash ashore the salty skin
Lashes casting shadow on a lonely beach
I see you
High above I am
Held up by ***** like you
Does it still feel good to lie to me
A friendship based on my control
And the moonlight shines bright on this beach and the starlight is forevermore
But this delusion you carry isn't fair for me to keep
So I'm here lonely, combing the beach

I lay here
I'm sad
I hate you
You know I do
You know why
I'm lonely again
Just like you said I would be
You were right
What can I do
I suppose I'm just a ****
All those words dipped in honey meant nothing
I knew they didn't
I know they don't
But they tasted sweet on my dry lips
Sometimes I wish I could taste again
Just a little
But what good is that
I hate you
You know I do
I'm alone in a field of sound
It doesn't matter
There is no one I value
There is no one who values me
You were right
I'm bored and lonely again

I'm here now
And even my best is rotting
I buried myself to my neck
I buried myself vehemently
I watch you crawl
Away and away
Til only the sand you eat
shows on the edge of the world

I held you close until you let go
And now I'm here, alone
Will you think about me down here?
No, no you won't
Away on your mountain top
Where nothing is ever as it seems
While I sit and rot
and you climb to the top
will you ever think of me?