it's been a while since I've been up here
at least a year
sitting on the textured, plastic roof
of a child's playhouse
it resides permanently in my yard
despite having been outgrown long ago
outgrown like the flowers and weeds
that surround it
the flowers and weeds that are unkempt
like one's hair on a windy day
they blow in the wind now
and hit my feet
to my surprise,
when the flowers touch my toes
tiny white petals
drift into the air
showering my bare feet
with small snow-like specks
slowly, I shake my feet
and then kick the flowers
I laugh as the Ivory petals
descend into the air
and kick again
and again
and again
the flowers are almost bare now
and my time here is spent
I look out over the long grass of my lawn
it too is uncared for,
in the summer the owners of it
are never there to tend it
and in the winter
it dies anyway
a jungle of a backyard
swept by a summer breeze
leaves me feeling just a bit freer

You wanna know a secret?
Just a you and me secret
just a little whisper in the dark secret
just a little take it to your grave secret
just a little silent confession
just a little tremor in the voice
and a quake in your step
a
please help I cant keep this in any longer secret
a
don't tell anyone I'd be ruined secret
but no one can keep those secrets,
can they?
they turn it into
a
don't tell them I told you this they'd be so mad
secret
or a
I'm only telling you because I tell you everything
secret
secrets are meant to be kept
but secrets rarely remain secrets
sometimes people aren't trustworthy
but maybe
maybe secrets aren't meant to be kept
maybe
just maybe
it's only natural
the way they sit in the back of your throat
and throttle you
making you want to turn them into a
god you won't believe what they just told me but don't tell anyone
secret
maybe
we have to tell secrets
if we want to let them go
if we don't want them to strangle us
grow into our flesh and
infect our bloodstream
and consume us until we are
our secrets
so can I tell you a secret?
just a you and me secret
if you promise you won't keep it

Two brains, eyes, ears and lungs,
Two feet, legs, arms and hands;
Ten toes and fingers,
Two kidneys too,
And teeth to spare,
Still countless are my thinning hairs.
I'm ready for the deluge,
I'm a walking ark.

And why not two souls too.

If I had two souls,
I know what I would do;
Like Dorian, I'd degenerate.
Let one be ****** eternally,
The other gets Paradise.
The odds are in my favor,
I'm rolling dotless dice.

And two hearts would do.

If I could have two hearts,
How'd I be today?
One could be broken,
One stay whole,
Not to be given away.
Yet my outcome
Would be the same;
A thousand hearts won't do.

I suppose
I might have liked you more
before you liked me
when you were a
castle in the sky
a faraway dream
for others to have and to hold
but not me
certainly not me
when you were a
shining vision
of unattainability
I suppose
I've always been this way
always wanted more
wanted what I can't have
bored when I get it
always wishing
always wanting
dragging myself through the pain
in order to say
"look, I survived it
look, how strong I am"
nevermind
that I caused it
so I don't know
if I can deal with
your sudden attainability
don't know
if I can coerce myself through
the boredom of
happiness

Remember
When we were kids
And a planetarium
Was a most wonderful place
Everyone simply obsessed
With outer space.
It was strange
And new
And beautiful
It was full of wonder
As was everything
A galaxy of stars
And empty space
We were flying through it all
To a new planet
For us to discover
Floating towards the future
It was like a dream
But as we grow up
We realize
Falling stars are chunks of ice and rock
Not wishes
And stars and the sun
Are ***** of flaming gas
The wonder fades
And you realize
Outer space
Would truly be a lonely place
Alone out there
But I guess it would still better
Than here
And you yearn
For that wonder to come back
But even if it would
Someone would take it away
They always do.
Growing up is sudden
And shocking
And changes you
Forever
And you wish you could go back
To planetariums
And outer space
But you can't.
We are all stars
***** of fire
That will eventually die out.
But some of us are falling
And hoping someone will catch us.