I shouldn't feel this..
I'm a drunk mess.
But I shouldn't feel this.
Let's just hope I don't remember this.

Job offer from a high profile company I don't deserve this?
Do I? Im unsure I'd like some honest answers to this.

Why do I feel the urge to call you explain all of this..
Oh, that's right you never loved me you're not interested in knowing this.
I have to remember I was alone in all this.
You know..
Loving you investing in all this.
I guess my heart still wants to share all my happiness..
This much is true I guess..
I'm drunk on wine such a mess.
So I'll hide my phone till morning better judgement and all the reasons I will never call you..
Yes.

If nobody believed in love...
Why would anyone want to live?

Life is but a game they say.
You can use it to your advantage they say.

But I'd say that's just a lie.
Because no matter how hard I try I feel like I'm always going against the grain.
Picture the wind screaming and blowing as hard as it can, and I'm steady struggling against the winds hand.
Picture me trying to get to solid land, swimming and swimming against life's current.
Picture wave after wave crashing over you.
Slowly drowning your plans.
Diminishing your determination to succeed.
Crushing your courage to stand.
Bashing any hope you thought you had in you that would stand.

Its maddening.
It eats you away.
All you want to do is stand.
To succeed in this life and perhaps the next.

But then life throws its ugly head back and laughs.
Because its got bigger things planned to ruin all your ways to stand.

Maybe, just maybe,
you're going to be the one that saves me.

I just wanted to know you.
Even in the tiniest of measures.
In the most innocent of ways.
I just wanted to know you.

You made me laugh.
You lit me up like all the stars in the sky.
And although it was brief, and even though you may think this is corny,
You woke me up.
I felt there, captured in a moment.
You made me laugh.
And I hadn't in months.
I was in a daze it was too much.
But you shook me right up, right out of my depression coma.
And that is simply why I had to know you.

I thought for sure the day I stopped loving you, my heart would turn to stone.
But alas my heart is simply on fire.
No longer burning for you.
I just wish that I could set you on fire.
Or maybe just turn you into stone.
Decisions, decisions.

Oh insomnia,
Won't you go away.
Someone stop these thoughts.
That continously circle me.
It's true, I crave sleep.
So much more than you.

I wanna slip deep into a dream.
Where a faceless lover consumes me.
In a forest perhaps with nothing but green forest beauty, all around as far as the eye can see.
Where he lifts me up and brings me back down.
Where his lips graze mine in a unforgettable true loves kiss.
What a sap I am, always dreaming of such an unobtainable thing.