I could be heartless
I could reply with who is this
And some part of you would shatter
knowing that I have attempted to remove you from my life but
the truth is you are still on my phone as much as you are on my mind
There, but not given much attention
Sure, you exist, but only quietly

I think of you sometimes like when my toes are touching sand or
when I have a glass of maker's mark in hand or
when I hear your name in someone else’s mouth
But to be completely honest
I am not broken over this

So your hello comes a few months too late and mine from a few months before has been left without response
I could say hey I miss you too but
that would be considered a lie
Maybe I do now and then but mostly
I only miss you when there is nothing else to miss

Like a vague memory of something that used to sit in the corner of my room
I know it was there but I don't remember much else about its presence
I don't know what to say after it’s been almost a year
I waited for you, too long but
I am not broken over this
Summer has passed and another is coming,
Maybe I will find another you in the next

When you send me a text five months too late I will not be heartless
I will say hello like time hasn’t added pressure on the ache, like
maybe I could still love you the way I did yesterday and
some part of you would be whole knowing a part of me is living in the past,
where we are alive together

When you have those mornings
when you wake up and
you can't
love yourself,

I will love you.

When you have those afternoons where you cannot
hold
yourself
together,

I will hold you.

And when you have those nights where your thoughts take over
and they won't
go
away,
I will stay with you 'till the morning

And I
will
love you
all
over
again.

I feel like I am losing you.

Perhaps you've taken another form of yourself,
Or you have always been this way...

And if you have, I painfully regret not noticing it before.
Unless I did see this, but I ignored the truths in your past's pattern.

Either way, I feel like I am losing you.
And I cannot do anything but
Watch.

We met under the night sky.
With bitterness layered in the breeze,
Yet with that came honest intentions and curiosity.
And we played under the stars, tracing out unsaid promises into each other's skin...
Saying things to each other
as if the
morning wasn't going
to come.

But the morning did come,
And you were still there.
The sun rose and shone on my flaws,
And you were still there.

His warmth I love
Though never touched
Cause suns still burn
From far away

He'd hear my thoughts
Though never speaks
But silence talks
In many ways

Oh how I'd love
To have him near
To talk even
For just a day

But I know well
As dreams reveal
When I come to
That he's not real

I'm starting to notice something,
I'm unsure if it's true.
But when did all of my writing,
become less about me...
and more about you?

It'll be okay, *I'll be okay.

If I am only a chapter in your story book...

I am the height of the adventure.
I may not be the light at the end of the tunnel,
But I am rising tension with the quotes that you wish you wrote,
And the kind of love that you'll find on the lips and fingertips of every character,
but won't be able to find in the real world.

Perhaps you're in love with fiction.

Perhaps that's what I am.

I don't understand
why we measure time

Time does not pass in a uniform action
Minutes can seem like seconds
and seconds like minutes

The amount of time we spent together seemed endless
but the amount of time it has been
since the last time we talked
seems infinite

The amount of time is not equal
to the amount of meaning
that something has

so if there is no meaning in time
why don't we measure meaning instead?

I don't understand why we measure time