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39 · Feb 2020
Specter
Ayn Feb 2020
He appeared in the dead of night,
A specter emanating the deathly ice
And he stole out from all entities, a light.
Now the world was dark and cold, a paid price.
The ebon fauna was forever a blight,
Now the night had come, and death to its right.
Just read The Masque of The Red Death. That’s where my inspiration lies.
39 · May 2020
Untitled
Ayn May 2020
Swirling drops of screeching chalk
Memories left untouched.
Life unwound,
And a life better left in the ground.
Too many emotions to write, so I’m taking a break for a while.
39 · Aug 2020
Tired
Ayn Aug 2020
As my body starts to drag,
My mind starts to wander.

Moving becomes a chore,
And listening is a bore.

I think I’ll just close my eyes,
And fall to the floor.
Sorry that I was awake for too long.
39 · Jan 2020
Windy Times
Ayn Jan 2020
The wind moves like a whip,
As if making way for a storm.
The field, a dull golden amber,
Leans to one side in the fiery weather.

The wind pulls me away from myself,
Freezing my saddened body,
But releasing my tortured soul,
Pulling to the healing grounds
That I consider this field to be.
The field is really nice.
39 · Feb 2020
Dissipation
Ayn Feb 2020
She whispered into my ear
“I find boys
Who write poetry
Really distracting.”
Then her flame went away,
Leaving me to wonder,

And forget.
Written like a day or two ago, I completely forgot that this plagued me. I honestly don’t care anymore bc it’s probably some random person I talked to at a convention for a bit, not like I’ll see them again. Also that first line isn’t what happened, I’m pretty sure it just came up in average conversation.
38 · Jan 2020
Corruption
Ayn Jan 2020
As things continue to stand
In this land of the eternally ******,
theres no more room for an honest man.
38 · Jan 2020
Sheltering
Ayn Jan 2020
I know I’m Li’l late,
My love’s just a dying shield
That shelters my hate.
Input a but after ‘late’ and before ‘my’. Just my passing thought I had as the bags under my eyes grew... saggier i guess...
38 · May 2020
Guilt
Ayn May 2020
Even if one thinks
That what is right
Is wrong,
There is an undeniable guilt
That follows in wake.
38 · Feb 2020
Superfluous Liveliness
Ayn Feb 2020
Scraping the blue sky,
Grazing the stoic mountain,
But far above the trees.
Take of it what you will.
38 · Mar 2020
L’s
Ayn Mar 2020
Love
Lies
Little thoughts
Lingering doubts
Living in a lovey drought.

Love escalating, but
Lies pervading through
Little cracks
Lingering of a broken foundation,
Living in this silkily scripted silence,

And hiding from the moonlight.
L’s as in Love and Lies. To me, it seems like lovers keep a **** ton of secrets from each other. I don’t wanna engage in another relation full of lies, especially with one so close.
****. That. ****.
38 · Sep 2020
Untitled
Ayn Sep 2020
Needles working into my throat,
As alarm bells ring through my ears.

A softly falling drop of liquid air
Dispersed into the vacuum of space.

If no place exists for me to breathe,
Then I’ll choke on the music.
I’ll end the show before the final dance,
And let the curtains close,
Bringing closure to my contract with life.
38 · May 2020
Untitled
Ayn May 2020
Amongst a storm,
Inside the raging current,
Iridescent light
Shines once again.

Things are going
To be all right.
38 · May 2020
incorrect output
Ayn May 2020
An incorrect output
to the anger built up over the day.
I wish I could apologize,
but the window just may
have already closed.

I should take back what I say
once in a while.
I'm sorry. I really am.
37 · Feb 2020
Silently Pierced
Ayn Feb 2020
The moon shines so brightly,
Sometimes I find myself
Looking at its beauty,
And stabbed through the heart.
An unexplainably ominous existence,
And an unrivaled luminescence.
My heartstrings tugged so far,
That they snapped into shreds.
The moon is beautiful in its own way.
37 · Feb 2020
Eve of Clarity
Ayn Feb 2020
Under the stars,
two souls become one.
Some may say
that they were star-crossed,
but I say that the stars
ran in tender parallel.

There are innumerable lines in the sky;
you may see a line cutting their fate,
but I see the lines running side by side,
and know that a red thread stitched this date.
Not about the action of "becoming one" more about a confession between two lovers who were oblivious to the other's feelings. You know, Romeo and Juliet is not really a tragedy, they got to meet each other in hell.
37 · Jan 2020
Knowledge
Ayn Jan 2020
Knowledge is power.
If it’s a sin, then I’ll be
A drug lord in hell.
Hit me hard when writing the previous poem. Also a drug lord is the first thing that came to mind with evil powerful jobs.
37 · May 2020
Notepad 9
Ayn May 2020
The mime drowsily stumbles,
Now awakened from his dream.
All that’s left is the silky memory
Of his imagination’s devious scheme.

The silver sunset awaits his arrival,
So he gallops onwards into nightfall.
I forgot the number. EDIT: it was actually #9 not #8.
37 · Sep 2020
Untitled
Ayn Sep 2020
If there’s an edge above the waves,
I’ll fall fast and hard.

In my twisted world of love,
There’s no room for elegant dives.
37 · Mar 2020
Doormat
Ayn Mar 2020
How could I show you the door
When you’re the one
that picked my heart up off the floor?
37 · Mar 2020
LampLit
Ayn Mar 2020
Broken street lamps
Scattering luminous dust
Along the chalky sidewalk.

The particles fly
And the phantoms fall.

The light summons radiance
And the darkness casts its shadows.
I have no idea where the idea came from.
37 · Jan 2020
Grabbed By The Shirt.
Ayn Jan 2020
There’s a helping hand
That holds me back
From doing what I desire...

Like asking for help.
Oh god, it is all too many times where I’ve stopped myself from doing stuff... things even as simple as saying hi to anyone.
36 · Apr 2020
Psychopath
Ayn Apr 2020
I mean it’s a possible reason
For those years of a facade.

Feeling nothing;
No connection,
No emotion.

Just blank.
Only old morals
Kept me from
Arming myself
With intent to harm.
I’m not sure if you can come out of that though. All I know is that I felt a need to retaliate. I thought of bringing death to those who left me forsaken. No guilt, just righting wrongs. Only a brief remembrance of how harming others has repercussions stopped me.
36 · Apr 2020
Fall
Ayn Apr 2020
I wake up in the morning
Feeling oh so ******* fine
Wanting to carve my soul out with a knife.

Everyone sits dark and empty,
But I’m still light and so **** full of strife.

In an endless battle between my ungrateful heart and soul
I’m starting to lose sight of this god forsaken life.
Written and tuned to a happy acoustic song. I can’t sing for the life of me, but it’s done in a happy voice.
36 · Feb 2020
Double Time
Ayn Feb 2020
Beating hearts
Lined up in parallel.
A growing passion
That will never die.
A life is gained
On a converged route,
But the separate routes
Drop in priority.

Three roads running in parallel.
Two eventually stop, leaving
One road to move until the world’s edge.
Hearts beat double-time. There are two muscles that beat almost at the same time. You can feel it if you check your pulse.
36 · Feb 2020
Invertebrate
Ayn Feb 2020
I’m but a human husk
Fill me with your emotions,
And watch me fail your expectations.
The only expectation I won’t fail is keeping a secret.
36 · Mar 2020
Staring Star
Ayn Mar 2020
A star so bright
I could not hold my gaze,
She brought to much light,
And my mind’s in a daze

He put my mind in a fight
And set my logic a’blaze.
Now I’m lost on what is right
Because of this love filled haze.

Love is a maze,
Both she and he
proved this fact to me.
I tried writing my mind out. “he” actually refers to two different people, one I liked in a romantic sense, and the other one I despise for somewhat unreasonable reasons.
36 · Mar 2020
Stars
Ayn Mar 2020
Above my eyes,
Yet sitting right inside
Lie the midnight stars
Flowing like the tide.

They twinkle without bitter,
And giggle and titter.
Floating flippantly and freely
Through the night so dreamy.

Watching us from above
Just as we watch from below.
The stars signal a guiding dove,
And we follow it’s tidal flow.

The stars are there to guide us right,
So why is the night now void of their light?

Where have the stars gone?
Where has the light gone?
36 · Mar 2020
Winter hands
Ayn Mar 2020
If close hearts really do warm the cold,
May I steal your summery heart of gold?
36 · Jan 2020
Stillest Moments
Ayn Jan 2020
As I sit ever so still,
I seem perfectly calm.
But on my visceral inside
Erupts a magnitude 9.
Ugh, I hate butterflies when they roam my stomach.
36 · May 2020
Notepad 7
Ayn May 2020
Remember,
You’re awesome.

Who you ask?

You! The person reading this.

Now don’t forget that!
We are all awesome because we are all ourselves. These times have been trying and are most definitely uncertain, but I think we’ll make it through, together.
36 · May 2020
Ring-a-ding-ding
Ayn May 2020
What if the things I say
End up as too much?
And that line
Was long since breached.

It’s something I will regret,
But a something I can’t take back.
If words were really that easy to take back,
Why are there still wars.

All I can do is apologize
And hope that this game
Wasn’t rigged from the start.
It’s a reference to Fallout: New Vegas. A quest is called ring-a-ding-ding, and in that quest you **** someone that shot you in the head (it’s weird). That person has a famous quote at the start of the game “From where you’re kneeling, it may just seem like an 18 karat run of bad luck, but the truth is, the game was rigged from the start.”
35 · Mar 2020
Firey Mask
Ayn Mar 2020
A cloak was drawn over his shoulders,
And set aflame, flickering in the passing wind.
He grabbed his mask of flame,
And set out to take in his name.

A house was on fire,
And death needed to take those lives,
Quenching the water
That flowed from their eyes.
I tried to write.
35 · Apr 2020
Lost
Ayn Apr 2020
What’s lost
Shall be missed,
Held dear,
And close.

But remember:

The lost
Can be found,
The broken
Can be repaired.

The only true dead
Are the ones lost
From heart,
And mind.
35 · Jan 2020
Perversion of Poetry
Ayn Jan 2020
I know I swear a lot,
And many think it’s ******.
Sure words have power,
But who gave them the power?

You.

And.

Me.

We gave words power,
And I gave them less power than you,
These words are ways to express myself;
Showing how things **** me off too,
Not words to used to destroy poetry.

I thank you for your time.
That last line... it’s stayin’ because it’s necessary, but it’s kinda awkward.
35 · Jan 2020
slop
Ayn Jan 2020
Have you ever felt
Like pushing down a friend
And kissing them senseless?

A regretful feeling,
As fleeting as the twilight sun,
Yet as memorable as the colors
That existed during that frame.

I still wish I acted differently,
I wish I acted without my inhibitors,
And sized my embarrassing moment,
Spending it on the floor with him.
Yes. True story, I don’t even like the dude like that, I never did. I wonder what would’ve happened if I did do that. The story is stored under a locked note on my phone and the title was the password. Christ this is some embarrassing ****... but I don’t know you people IRL so it’s ok...? Eh *** it’s not that bad.
35 · Feb 2020
E
Ayn Feb 2020
E
Everyone es:
ecstatic, erratic, eh?!
Eternal ending!
a haiku written with only e's. I did it in math class a while back. It actually is more than just a jumble of words. ('es' is Spanish for 'is')

A LOT OF ELLITERATION HA... HA... HA...
35 · May 2020
Movement
Ayn May 2020
When shall this fast world,
Stuck in a lasting stasis,
Start to move again?
I wonder if I’ll have a ponytail by the time barbershops open again. My hair’s longer than it’s ever been.
35 · Sep 2020
Untitled
Ayn Sep 2020
The little widow’s weeping
Stopped my heart from beating.

The hourglass branded up on its spine,
Signaling the end of my time.

A teardrop stains my arm,
But that’s just the venom in my souls.
34 · Feb 2020
Resistance
Ayn Feb 2020
Starting the journey
Is far harder than the trek.
Just as finding a reason
To leave my covers
Each draining morning,
I have to strive and strain
To find a reason to start
On this journey.
I want to continue reading “The Murders in the Rue Morgue” by Edgar Allan Poe, but I don’t know whyI can’t start it. I really enjoy it so far.
34 · Feb 2020
Sensitivity
Ayn Feb 2020
The wind sneaks up on me,
And lightly caresses my body.
Hands so soft, yet so firm.

A kiss on the cheek,
And disappears once again,
Leaving me to wonder
If she ever missed me.
34 · Feb 2020
Invocation
Ayn Feb 2020
I call myself a writer
Yet I’ve never made another cry
With the pieces I’ve written.
I’ve seen looks of disgust,
And those of disappointment,

But how does one invoke
The emotions felt in that moment
In the hearts and minds of the literate?

I want to create tears from one’s eyes,
Let the warm water streak a path,
And then send a fearful shiver
Up their chilled spine,
And freeze those beads of water
Into spikes of ice.

Maybe a boiling rage can follow,
And dissipate those trailing tears.

But when all is said and all is done,
Others spike emotion.

I spike none.
I realized that I’ve never seemed to have the same effect on others with my writing as others’s work has had an effect on me. Sometimes, there’s more to believing than seeing though, so I’ll hope that somewhere, sometime, I’ll invoke the intended emotion into someone.
33 · Mar 2020
Faith
Ayn Mar 2020
Reigning down upon my body
Like an emotionless hammer,
Swinging hard and fast,
Leaving nothing untouched,
Leaving my love to be amassed.
The title has nothing to do with the poem, just the song I was listening to (“Faith”, by Limp Bizkit).
33 · Nov 2020
Untitled
Ayn Nov 2020
A step to a wade,
Shivering water
Will always shine.
Even if the day is done,
Even if you can’t run.
33 · May 2020
Silence
Ayn May 2020
Why should I speak,
If your flawless voice
resonates with the earth?
Why disrupt
The unparalleled song?
Your voice is the glassen sky,
To shatter the flow
Would surely be a crime.
When they wanted me to unmute myself, so they sang a song about it.
33 · May 2020
Untitled
Ayn May 2020
How
Many
More
Words
Before
My
Denial
Turns
To
Realization?
33 · Jan 2020
Sealed With Care
Ayn Jan 2020
The suppression
left an impression
on my healing heart.
A closing hole,
a dented body,
a golden reality.
Release has come,
so I'll carefully
push the envelope,
and watch it bend.
Bending the envelope is fine, but don't break it. After all, tampering with the mail is a federal crime ;). Jan.10.2020. Release isn't talking about any bad habits, just for me dancing around my room to music bc I be very happy.
32 · Mar 2020
Risen
Ayn Mar 2020
Do you know why
The sun has yet to fall?

Will you retry
When you are left to crawl?

Inside your eyes
A light shines down the hall.

Now look in mine,
You’ll find no light at all.


Are you to fly
When I fly from fear?

Hey, please don’t die
So just persevere

No, please don’t cry
I won’t leave you here.

Give life a try
‘Cause I hold you dear
Kind of a song, I guess. The first part follows a 4-6 couplet rule thing (4 syllables, 6 syllables), 4 should have an “I” ending, 6 should have an “all” ending. The second part is 4-5 couplet rule thing, 4, again, ends in “I”, while 5 ends in an “ear” ending. Kapeesh? Kapeesh. (Another way I say “Got it? Got it.”)
Oh yeah, forgot, thanks to Caleb for the idea of writing a song.
32 · May 2020
Icy chains
Ayn May 2020
Cold and frozen
Inside a cage of my own.
There’s nobody out there to thaw me out,
Nobody to listen for my frostbitten shout.

Maybe I’m just a mannequin,
Singing lullabies and lies
Until my stifled cries
Reveal the real human inside.
After all, mannequins can’t get frostbite. So obviously I’m not one. But maybe my entire personality is just another puppet. Maybe I am a puppetmaster?
32 · Jan 2020
Upwards
Ayn Jan 2020
Above the ever changing trees
Lies the ever growing tower of stone.
A swift mountain breeze,
Causes the stout wood to groan.

Like a pebble
Being blown lightly
Across a desert storm,
I was unknowingly blown
Off of the towering stone.
There was more, but it changed the way what I had written appeared to me, so I cut it off.
32 · Feb 2020
Foundation
Ayn Feb 2020
Why not cement
the foundation of our world
on something as flimsy
as the petal of an iris?

Why not live a life
where we perceive
the fallacies of ourselves
above the undeniable truth.

Why not compare
every aspect of our beings
to those who stand above us.

Why should we not
just look into each other's eyes,
and smile, happy with our world?
"he had cemented the foundation of his world upon something as light as a fairy's wing." From The Great Gatsby, by Scott Fitzgerald. I think that's how the quote went.
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