Temporary fixes
Is all I've ever looked for.
A little something to take the edge away
A little something to make me forget
A little something to make everything okay
But it never lasts
This temporary fix of mine.
It's prescribed for my head
But never for my heart.
I keep wanting more and more
Because more and more
Just piles up
With
Each
Passing
Day.
This place I call home isn't the safe haven
I've grown up in anymore.
The endless laughter and smiles
Can't cover up the pain I dig into.
My precious notebook and pen
Can't scratch out reality.
Things have changed,
And I just want to get away.
But the more I've tried,
The more I've been denied.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work.
The pain can be buried,
But uncovered once again.
The cuts might not bleed,
But they've left a scar.
There has to be something more than
This-
Than this temporary fix.

I feel like trash being ready
to be picked by whoever has
the worst taste
finding out later
that they only needed the bag.
emptying my contents on to the grass
half broken and dismembered
pieces of glass left behind from the time
I broke my mirror
unfinished 40 ounces from winter break.
the first time I ever got drunk and threw up.
It felt good.
Half a dozen 8ths
I smoked for a whole month
after she left me and my parents
kept lecturing me about
how much I ****** at
being alive

Feeling lost and gone
In need of simple song
The shortest stick is drawn
Lies, but you'll go along

Touch you one last time
"Goodbye," and all your cries
A final sign
To sever all your ties

But it cannot be done
You will not be drowned
Under my midnight sun
You cannot make a sound

Amazed you have been saved

Hurts ,
Trying so hard
Not to think of you.

Hurts,
To ignore you
To keep my distance.

Hurts,
To see you so close
Yet not touch you.

It's the only way
I know
To get over you.

Each day when I think of the way you hurt me
when my heart wrenches in pain.
I think of what I did to deserve this
When u know that there was no other way.

I don’t know why u can hold my heart ransom
Crush it with unkind gesture of yours
When I loved you so truly and madly and
didn’t think even once of the loss

U see it is I who stand to loose from what you’ve done
Cause for me there can be no one
not after what you have done
The doors of my heart have closed forever
Never will these open again for anyone.

For you this was just an attempt to see if your charm worked
For me this was a soul shaker, the one that changed me forever.

I resisted every attempt of yours
For your eyes scorched me day and night
Still I bore down your charm
and stood my ground alright.

Our chemistry was in the air you see
We could never hide it from prying eyes
Any blind man could have told
they way we looked into each others eyes.

I fought and resisted you for long
And thought I was strong
Till that fateful day when
I decided I would have it my way

But fate would wish another way
For the day I decide to part
That was the very day I lost my heart.

Your fun and jokes and childish pranks
Your endless teasing had me in splits
You knew very well that
it was beginning to grow in you as well.
A strange feeling of falling head over heels.

We were one and we did not need those words
Until you started expecting me to cross my limits
Limits I had set long ago, and you knew
I would never never cross them for anyone.

What did you want me to say, say that I love you
I already did it a million times
Didn’t my eyes say it all.
You knew you felt it too.
But now, I don’t know what’s wrong with you.

I am done with the deciphering
I am done with your cold ways
I am done with your pushing me around
I am never going to stay that way

For all that could have been done is done and over
My Lord, my energy’s drained and u have run me over.

I wept and cried and wondered why I deserved this fate.
You see miscommunication is to blame that closed the gate

For I cannot reconcile the same heart that rent sweet words
were tossing me out cold and dry.

I could not let u go for you were the sweetest thing my eyes beheld,
and I did love u truly, but you’ll never understand.

Its over now..what a mess!
The only prayer that escapes my lips

May our paths never cross again!
For I cannot afford loose my heart again.