He doesn't burn photographs
He doesn't join therapy sessions
He doesn't smoke too many cigarettes
Nor he drown himself into alcohol
He scratches his wounds daily
And never let them heal
He doesn't try to get rid of the pain
Instead he let it grow on him
He waters the seed of sorrow with his tears
He feeds it with the manure of old memories
He takes it to sleep with him
And nurtures it in himself
Till the moment when every single drop of his blood gets replaced by this pain
Until his fragile heart can bear no more
And his soul starts overflowing with emotions
That's when he dip his pen into this pain
And empty his heart on a piece of paper
He bares his soul for us to feel
He creates poetry that the world would cherish for centuries to come

Like a ***** holding up a ceiling tile
My life has been a spiralling circle
Growing upward, getting closer to seeing my angels
While going in circles, living the same life listening and running the same lies
Until I finally come to the point of darkness and utopia and reimburse my time with the ones I miss dearly , in the point of the upward spiral

Just like my life my heart is an atrocious mess
Trying to do right but the only way I seem to go is left
When I try to cry no tears seem to form on my bottom lid

I think of you and my chest feels shot with a volting stun
Sounds stupid but this time I think Cupid said uc the arrow and blasted a gun
When I wanted to help you I lost my mind when my demons wouldn’t let me give you some

I didn’t want to go back to what I knew would end
But my hearts too real and everybody knows we had a past back then
Told myself I’d be there for the moment even tho when it was over I’d want to bury my face in pills & soft dust again

I wouldn’t say my heart is broken cause that already happened a long time ago
But it’s so conflicted and it’s like instead of fixing it I just step on and crunch the broken pieces and **** brain cells so memories drain from my dome
I wouldn’t say you have to forget to fix things but that’s all I wanna do when I get to missing you cause of my heart , just cutting too close

As I write this first poem I think of how you motivate me to do things I always wanted to do but simply just never did it
Like this meditation of words explaining the conflicts in my heart, like a peaceful flashback you give me a warming vision
I still hope to go to sleep at 4 am having a miraculous dream with only me and you in it..

-AP