Death-throws

Mar 2015

Lachrymose and Lies

Grey eyes
You captivated me from the moment I first saw you
Keyboard Kafe. Cheesecake and Bourbon
Too young to drink without your fake ID
I loved your youth
Skinny jeans for summer
Singlets and jandals for winter
Uniform otherwise
You looked smart in blue
**** in black
Washed out in red
Like death in white
You escaped to Oklahoma of all places
Discovered the music in your heart
Came home with a farmers tan
Work was an issue
At least you tried
***** was the only cure you could find for your lonely soul
If only you had found me
Friends came and went along with your
Umpteen love affairs
Self respect
Confidence
Inspiration
You had cared all your life until nobody cared for you
Your tan faded
It was time to get off the couch and out of bed every morning
Janice kicked you out
You refused to pay rent
Branna and Harrison discarded you too
You were a man of many friends
Yet the loneliness in your soul reduced you to tears every night
In the bed you wish you hadn't made
You traveled
To Perth
Alaska
The dairy down the road
Prices were reasonable
Divorce rate low
Fake tans ever popular
You could get away with anything
I loved your perspective
Burgers, fries and coke
All you could afford but kept the weight off
You were always handsome
And always in need of a shower
You never married, I know
You never met the right one
You never met me
Your blonde hair faded and your eyes grew redder
A nip of gin and three bottles of whisky kept you sane
You gave up on drugs
And cigarettes
Just drank until you fell
down
Janice
A three year old daughter in her arms with eyes like yours
Grey eyes
Came by your house
Full of spite
She stormed in
You hung by your belt from the trellis in the back garden
It was a sad day
Like today
You've always looked **** in black
I hate the fake tan the mortician plastered on you
I hate the fact that Janice spat on you in front of the wee girl
I hate that you don't remember me
I hate that High School was a *****

And that I was shy

But life got the better of you
So I don't blame you
I love you

Death-throws Mar 2015

short supply

i am a drug, abused drug abuser,
you like to pick me up, take a drag
rip a piece
and throw me away in your disgust,
wear me thin...
and while you work on breaking my spirit
i inhale of my own poision..
pulling clouds of happiness into my lungs
for the low low price of my sanity
you picked me up one night and screamed
threw me to the corner and as usual
but this time you cried
you said"im sorry"
i don't know what that means
my soul is gone, i sold it to the devil for a fiver,
grinned as i counted the cents and he laughed away
my anonymity is stripped even the walls know my name
i dip my head as i walk down the street i don't want to meet their eyes
it hurts ,
to see that emotion,
happiness? content? i don't know
since you picked me up like a piece,
and started burning away my sanity
i became a drug

but im in limited supply

*L.G

not often i write about my addiction to narcotics but its good to achknowledge what brakes you down so you can work on how to improve.. thanks for reading:)

#broken #sad #drug

Death-throws Mar 2015

feel the sting

sitting on a park bench i what i realized
among other things
is that the texture of a product...
comes down to the compassion of the owner
because the silk scarf you gave me once sat so softly upon my neck,
it suited everything i wore
its color was vibrant and lively
it made me warm

but now your gone,
with the wind
with my heart,
and the scarf i came to wear as a daily fashion
sits around my throat
a noose made of barbed wire
a rope of thorns,
a necklace of hot iron
but i still wear your scarf,
it sends venom to my heart but i will adorn it with pride
because i know in crowds my face
is one of thousands
but this scarf..
is yours

and im hoping that one day you will see it
and bring my heart back to me
and place it back in my chest
along with yours

*L.G

Death-throws Mar 2015

hold

let me take a breath
draw.
hold.
exhale.
discard.
let me take you to my lips
like a poorly rolled cigarette
hold you close
for just a moment
taste the edge, feel the hit

then discard me
back to the gutter again

*L.G

thoughts while in an empty class

#hurt #breathe

Mar 2015

Sam M Gladen

Things I Never Said; But Should Have

I'm sorry.
I love you.
I'll never leave.
I'll try harder.
I'm lying to you.
Run far and fast.
Cause I'm falling for you.

#love #words #loss #her #him

Death-throws Mar 2015

Cut

tonight i cut an angel,

her heart in my palm beating away. her words echoing in my brain, theyd been there all along, such beautiful soft words, words that mattered, words that cared , words that helped , words that pushed me up and onwards

tonight i cut an angel,

her trust was as strong as steel in me, even when mine felt soft as yarn, she allways believed and faught for me without sense and without judgment
even when her sword was too dull to cut and too heavy to swing
her armor was so broken there was no point in wearing it,
but she wore it for me

tonight i cut an angel,

she is more beautiful then i deserve,more caring then i thaught possible, but frailer then rice paper.
she will allways love me, even when i hurt her, she would stand and smile and sow the hole in her heart closed again

tonight i cut an angel,

she wanted what was best, she knew what was best, she allways had and allways would, but my heart was beating to fast, my head was to strong. i screamed and faught and squeezed razors into the heart in my palm
tonight i cut an angel.

and now ill pray that to god he will send her back

L.G

#suicide #imsorry #her #cut

Death-throws Mar 2015

The sound of alarms

we sealed the love in ink, on her heart and on my arm
as love casts me i become a man made out off egg shells
supported by craft paper..
let love guide the unweildly.
let it kindle the hearts of the dammed...
let the light fade out the darkness...
and let my hands take hers again
like nothing has become of my pain
forget all images of suffering
forget everything but cotton...sweet scented on strawberry lips..
forget nothing but my hand on her hips,
take me away. for just one more day,
lets stand aghast the way we used to,
lets run through red light lit streets screaming like banchees
we cheat death by existing! take me to your arms!
let me forget nothing but the love i let you hold
deep in your heart
softly on your hands
Let me feel the love...

before i awake once more

*L.G

#love #dreams #fivemoreminutes