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Aawatef Sep 24
I remember being normal
Full of life and cheerful

Now it's a memory far-flung
Since the day you came along

Your knock made my heart beat profoundly
Not the good kind, it was unsoundly

I thought my heart was gonna explode
And I shook uncontrolled

My knees gave in and I felt heavy
It was a chilly night but I still felt sweaty

I couldn't begin to fathom what just happened
I brushed it off as an off occurrence
But who would have imagined?
It was the first of many to happen

No it's not a loved one or a friend
It's the demons inside my head

Mr. Depression and Ms. Anxiety
The demons invisible to society

Ergo my cry for help and screams of pain
Became harder to explain

You say everyone hates me
And I am to blame
Enough! Go away! Stop calling me names;
Fat,
Ugly,
Crazy,
Worthless,
You say I put my family to shame

You have made me hate own reflection
Rather than loving it, I loathe my imperfections

Can anyone hear the silent screams in my mind?
No you have made sure I tell everyone I am fine

You have ignited a fire that just burns bridges
I am concerned, I am alone, I can't keep up with this

I often want to pull the trigger ending it all
I am drained and tired, a little push and it will be curtain call

Mr. Depression and Ms. Anxiety ENOUGH? STOP! I plead for my life
I can't bare this anymore the burning is making me go blind

The darkness is ever so consuming
It's pitch black, very confusing

Some days I am Jekyll, some days I am Hyde
I have lost myself
I can no longer tell which is you and which is me

I want the normal days I remember
Where I was happy and cheerful

It has become a distant memory
I just want to be me

I beg you, I implore you, I am on my knees!
Have some mercy, LEAVE ME ALONE!
I just want to be me.
You are not alone!
Sep 15 · 113
Pale Light
Aawatef Sep 15
Amidst all grey, the moon peeks through
Shining a pale light, a wind fairly blue
A cigarette lit, my mind racing through
Looking for a place for my head in this world so untrue
Consumed in this darkness, the pale light is you
Saviour of mine, you are the truth
Sep 13 · 84
When You Are Around
Aawatef Sep 13
I can't explain why my heart beats lightfast
Can you hear the thumping sound? Quiet fast
When you are around

I can't explain why my knees feel weak
A giddy feeling, red are my cheeks
When you are around

Everything seems a little brighter
My soul moves to the beat of the choir
When you are around

The world conspires to perceive a feeling
For my feral heart is healing
When you are around
Most luck ones have that special someone who makes them feel weak in the knees. Appreciate them, tell them you love them.
Sep 12 · 419
MISFIT
Aawatef Sep 12
A boho hemmed into a perfect circle
Misunderstood and invisible
Where everyone goes right, he prefers left
The is told he is bereft

They force him to fit in
But how can he?
He is like oil in water, a hippie in suit quarters
His free spirit just won's blend in

They hammered and bent him to belong
But turns out he has been a misfit all along
For his spirit demands to be vivid and vibrant
In a rather monochrome circle, it is a tyrant

His heavy heart needs to let it all out
His thoughts, his dreams and all his doubts
His is a white noise, he seems very far out
Everyone is deaf to this boho's screams and shouts
We are all different pieces. Forcing that piece to fit somewhere it doesn't just won't work. Be yourself

— The End —