You were someone,
I thought I could count on.
Someone to comfort,
And ease the pain.
Now you're gone and,
I'm sick with anger.
Thinking this whole time,
I've been insane.

You were someone,
I thought I could count on.
Someone to distract,
And heal the hurt.
Now you're gone and,
I feel like giving up.
My soul ****** dry,
Like a wasted desert.

You were someone,
I thought I could count on.
Someone to protect,
And shield my heart.
Now you're gone and,
My cries for help fall silent.
Believing in God,
Is such a delicate art.

Look in the mirror, what do I see?
You're standing in the hall, screaming at me.
"Attitude Girl, you're so full of lies.
Shut up now and go dry your eyes."

Look in the mirror, what do I see?
You're looking down, criticizing me.
"Sit up straight, quit licking your lips."
Your words still sting like leather whips.

Look in the mirror, what do I see?
Your glare so stern, burning holes into me.
Shaking your head slowly in disapproval.
Like no one before making me feel so shameful.

Look in the mirror, what do I see?
The same person staring back at me.
A scowl fueled by hate and anger,
For all I see is my mother's failure.

Oh how I long for a blade,
Rubber bands don't do the trick.
A sting that feels so temporary,
Uncontrolled so goes the flick.

Oh how I long for a blade,
This welt is just not enough.
Repeatedly striking against my wrist,
Skin recognizes the bluff.

Oh how I long for a blade,
Cold stream of red is not the same.
Ice shrinking from inside my thigh,
So close to the origin of shame.

Oh how I long for a blade,
Effortlessly I watch it glide.
Numb to the demons that are within,
Another day I will not die.

Slowly pressure rises,
Intensity growing.
Water starts to dance,
Anxious and on edge.

Bubbles drift upward,
Heat building.
Steam begging to escape,
Aching and fed up.

Too much to take now,
Kettle screaming.
Rush over to lift it off,
Stove glowing hot and red.

Poured into a deep mug,
Tea steeping.
Feel it comfort from within,
Relaxed and at ease.

Running through a maze of halls,
Every corner turned your face appears.
Desperately trying to escape your grip,
Yet my mind seems to volunteer.

Just from reach of your fingertips,
Out of breath I circle round.
"I'm sorry" consumers the air around me,
Inevitably I am dead-end bound.

And so I find myself trapped,
Your breath searing the back of my ears.
Nails scraping these walls to get away,
This darkness consuming me for years.

Hips aching to forget your touch,
In your stench I will surely drown.
Memories make life feel worth ending,
A request for relief that's too profound.