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Flowers in their hair
Smiles on their face
Demons in their head
Drugs in their veins
Knives in their drawers
Puke in their toilet
Blood on their floor
Pain in their hearts
Storms in their souls
 Aug 2018 Lazarus nyakundi
Nekron
I saw you just taking out the trash, but I didn’t want to seem like a creep, so I let things skip a beat and now I’m thinking of your smile and your face but I’m at windows distance and I figure that you want some space or you’d be hitting me up and right now so I stand between the

Crater filled lakes of ash and ****,
scoured landscapes sickened by flame.
Fire and breath of choking ash distended disarray

Lava lakes and crater making mash
the splintering soul coming through, gashing and weighing in on itself.
it knows little of the chopped trees gutted for domicile.

The fresh roots poke from soil
and I sit and think about how I can dig holes around myself and with that somehow take something away,
like a tree or a treasonous wish.
Pitfalls and kush. Smoking the herb and with wishes of last dishes

Misguided missels firing,
their exhaust coughing plumes,
and strands of future tears,
and beams of heat pierce the sky,
molding oxygen to any form fit.

Distraught I revisit the past.
The crashing pain and aftermath,
the raking claws, the jaws and teeth, seeping from the soil.
Coiled snakes flicking tounges
and young souls.
old and putrid piles of bones,
left alone to shine bright,
and tranluscent as night falls, my mind is old and misguided.

I’ll cry out in distress I’ll never find the proper time to relax
I now know I’m worth nothing
I’m suckin in air taking up gas
I’m stressed but I’ll find
That throwing refuse onto a pile
Of burning rubber. the cooling bubbles

The trying times of today.
Getting out of slumber,
waking up to stay alive,
gritting teeth I hate myself
I am the pain and suffering, and that is why the suffering exists only in myself. without a body such as my own, perhaps suffering could cease.
If you're a lover, then where is your passion?
Where is your interest in me, your
curiosity of my affairs?
If you're a lover, then where is your attention?
Any given day, you ignore me for the TV.
You turn and say, though, you burn for me.
Given how you wait to be prompted,
is it hard to imagine I don't feel interesting?

If you're a lover, when's the last time you expressed
at least some minor urge to **** me?
How am I supposed to buy a charade
when I'm the one who must wind the key?
If you're a lover, why do you never write
about me, but when you're sad?
Where is your urge to hold me, as I've held
you cradled for all these years?
Don't you think I ever need protection or intention
without a beggar's plea?

If you're a lover, then why do you forget my presence
until I remind you that I'm alive?
you are my muse
but i cannot make music

you are my inspiration
but my ideas are gone

when i write for you
the words turn sour

i cannot sing for you
the notes go flat

i love you
but we do not fit together

we are puzzle pieces
that belong
in different puzzles

we do not fit

i do not fit
i am not good enough for him
Let's smile
To hide our pain

Let's smile
Even if it's fake
It will be real in a while

At least, that's what everyone says

But I've been smiling,
For quite a while

Is it working?
I still taste bile

Still, I have to believe
That one day I will be whole
I have to keep going
Until I'm in control

Let's smile
:)

:>

:}

:3

Smile.
I want what you have got
Because you have what I have not
And as an afterthought
You also want what I have got

Never are we satisfied
With what we're given in this life
When all we think of all the time
Is I want yours and you won't mine

Because you want what I have got
When I have what you have not
And then as an afterthought
I also want what you have got
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