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Jonny Bolduc Jan 2013
Friends of Friends

A cup of ocean, steaming like an elixir-
boiling empty water like a primordial sauna.
We drink to the thought of a flawed philosophy.
Cheers.
Cuttting all the corners as we skate around our grey garden.

We are friends. We are the friends of friends. We drink thoughts, slurp insight-
trip on _ to Plotinus, dig to Polycarp, copulate
in the stretched shadow of a specter, a long
skeleton Marxist,
beard coated in Ketchup-
Butcher entrails. **** the saintly each other.
Never stop. Ingesting. Breathing in. Spitting out.
Friendly manifestos, heartfelt wine grinning slipping spitting
blood forever-

You’re a fat cherub. Coated, winking, grinning, sleeping, *******-
you are not special.

On the average day,
Laziness takes a grip and forces you back into the bed.
The blankets have a magnetic pull-
Head pounds. Throbbing like a siren, in and out.
You are-
You’re slushy, like a spring day. Lethargic. Sleepy. Reading.

The day soon transforms-
the restless night comes catcalling-
The slurred voice, indiscernible- indescribable
an existing ode, folklore describing the lonely confines of an empty savior.

Not a hymn, but a dirge. A lonely gysm.
A struggling complex-
a grimy,  violated existence of crust. A damp home, a purlieu,
a place to occupy, a dug tunnel dug bed-rest, burrowing in filth like a worm-

Eyelids drooping. Socks wet. Keep them on-
you’ll get sick, but that’s alright.
Bled out from the scrapes and cuts.
Doing nothing ever ever sure does drain the life outta you.

There’s a little stick in your finger where a pin pushed through.
Bood peeked out like little specks,
like crimson blotchy roses- you smeared, painted
the front of an empty milk carton,
turning the white cardboard
red.
It’ll get infected. You should- no, you won’t, because-
you are a tiny splinter. An infection. A tapeworm.
Eating, feeding, relentless, biting-
the cold draining storm. The white fleck
landing on a bushy eyebrow and sticking-
drinking. For the warmth. For the cold. For the love of nothing,
Whiskey. *****. Sprite, Sprite and Whiskey, Sprite and *****, Salt Lime And Tequila, Gin Tonic *** Coke, endless libations to only gods you know-
an existence, expansive in scope,
covers the ****** of every friend of friend, every sick sad joke-
acquaintance, take it- cadence, leave it-

call a cab with a friend
or a friend of a friend on a lonesome morning,
stumble and fall and ***** perhaps.
Stick the head in the endless *** and
call the bray of the donkey an ******* shrill.
It's not a fib. It's not a lie.
It's an exaggeration.
Blast the mix-tape-
Dig to Hobbes- shuffle out the door while
some Neoplatonist ******* you feign to
understand loops around twists stabs maliciously inside
the skull of the your own Neanderthal
head-
Incipit Liber Quintus.

Aprochen gan the fatal destinee
That Ioves hath in disposicioun,
And to yow, angry Parcas, sustren three,
Committeth, to don execucioun;
For which Criseyde moste out of the toun,  
And Troilus shal dwelle forth in pyne
Til Lachesis his threed no lenger twyne. --

The golden-tressed Phebus heighe on-lofte
Thryes hadde alle with his bemes shene
The snowes molte, and Zephirus as ofte  
Y-brought ayein the tendre leves grene,
Sin that the sone of Ecuba the quene
Bigan to love hir first, for whom his sorwe
Was al, that she departe sholde a-morwe.

Ful redy was at pryme Dyomede,  
Criseyde un-to the Grekes ost to lede,
For sorwe of which she felt hir herte blede,
As she that niste what was best to rede.
And trewely, as men in bokes rede,
Men wiste never womman han the care,  
Ne was so looth out of a toun to fare.

This Troilus, with-outen reed or lore,
As man that hath his Ioyes eek forlore,
Was waytinge on his lady ever-more
As she that was the soothfast crop and more  
Of al his lust, or Ioyes here-tofore.
But Troilus, now farewel al thy Ioye,
For shaltow never seen hir eft in Troye!

Soth is, that whyl he bood in this manere,
He gan his wo ful manly for to hyde.  
That wel unnethe it seen was in his chere;
But at the yate ther she sholde oute ryde
With certeyn folk, he hoved hir tabyde,
So wo bigoon, al wolde he nought him pleyne,
That on his hors unnethe he sat for peyne.  

For ire he quook, so gan his herte gnawe,
Whan Diomede on horse gan him dresse,
And seyde un-to him-self this ilke sawe,
'Allas,' quod he, 'thus foul a wrecchednesse
Why suffre ich it, why nil ich it redresse?  
Were it not bet at ones for to dye
Than ever-more in langour thus to drye?

'Why nil I make at ones riche and pore
To have y-nough to done, er that she go?
Why nil I bringe al Troye upon a rore?  
Why nil I sleen this Diomede also?
Why nil I rather with a man or two
Stele hir a-way? Why wol I this endure?
Why nil I helpen to myn owene cure?'

But why he nolde doon so fel a dede,  
That shal I seyn, and why him liste it spare;
He hadde in herte alweyes a maner drede,
Lest that Criseyde, in rumour of this fare,
Sholde han ben slayn; lo, this was al his care.
And ellis, certeyn, as I seyde yore,  
He hadde it doon, with-outen wordes more.

Criseyde, whan she redy was to ryde,
Ful sorwfully she sighte, and seyde 'Allas!'
But forth she moot, for ought that may bityde,
And forth she rit ful sorwfully a pas.  
Ther nis non other remedie in this cas.
What wonder is though that hir sore smerte,
Whan she forgoth hir owene swete herte?

This Troilus, in wyse of curteisye,
With hauke on hond, and with an huge route  
Of knightes, rood and dide hir companye,
Passinge al the valey fer with-oute,
And ferther wolde han riden, out of doute,
Ful fayn, and wo was him to goon so sone;
But torne he moste, and it was eek to done.  

And right with that was Antenor y-come
Out of the Grekes ost, and every wight
Was of it glad, and seyde he was wel-come.
And Troilus, al nere his herte light,
He peyned him with al his fulle might  
Him to with-holde of wepinge at the leste,
And Antenor he kiste, and made feste.

And ther-with-al he moste his leve take,
And caste his eye upon hir pitously,
And neer he rood, his cause for to make,  
To take hir by the honde al sobrely.
And lord! So she gan wepen tendrely!
And he ful softe and sleighly gan hir seye,
'Now hold your day, and dooth me not to deye.'

With that his courser torned he a-boute  
With face pale, and un-to Diomede
No word he spak, ne noon of al his route;
Of which the sone of Tydeus took hede,
As he that coude more than the crede
In swich a craft, and by the reyne hir hente;  
And Troilus to Troye homwarde he wente.

This Diomede, that ladde hir by the brydel,
Whan that he saw the folk of Troye aweye,
Thoughte, 'Al my labour shal not been on ydel,
If that I may, for somwhat shal I seye,  
For at the worste it may yet shorte our weye.
I have herd seyd, eek tymes twyes twelve,
"He is a fool that wol for-yete him-selve."'

But natheles this thoughte he wel ynough,
'That certaynly I am aboute nought,  
If that I speke of love, or make it tough;
For douteles, if she have in hir thought
Him that I gesse, he may not been y-brought
So sone awey; but I shal finde a mene,
That she not wite as yet shal what I mene.'  

This Diomede, as he that coude his good,
Whan this was doon, gan fallen forth in speche
Of this and that, and asked why she stood
In swich disese, and gan hir eek biseche,
That if that he encrese mighte or eche  
With any thing hir ese, that she sholde
Comaunde it him, and seyde he doon it wolde.

For trewely he swoor hir, as a knight,
That ther nas thing with whiche he mighte hir plese,
That he nolde doon his peyne and al his might  
To doon it, for to doon hir herte an ese.
And preyede hir, she wolde hir sorwe apese,
And seyde, 'Y-wis, we Grekes con have Ioye
To honouren yow, as wel as folk of Troye.'

He seyde eek thus, 'I woot, yow thinketh straunge,  
No wonder is, for it is to yow newe,
Thaqueintaunce of these Troianis to chaunge,
For folk of Grece, that ye never knewe.
But wolde never god but-if as trewe
A Greek ye shulde among us alle finde  
As any Troian is, and eek as kinde.

'And by the cause I swoor yow right, lo, now,
To been your freend, and helply, to my might,
And for that more aqueintaunce eek of yow
Have ich had than another straunger wight,  
So fro this forth, I pray yow, day and night,
Comaundeth me, how sore that me smerte,
To doon al that may lyke un-to your herte;

'And that ye me wolde as your brother trete,
And taketh not my frendship in despyt;  
And though your sorwes be for thinges grete,
Noot I not why, but out of more respyt,
Myn herte hath for to amende it greet delyt.
And if I may your harmes not redresse,
I am right sory for your hevinesse,  

'And though ye Troians with us Grekes wrothe
Han many a day be, alwey yet, pardee,
O god of love in sooth we serven bothe.
And, for the love of god, my lady free,
Whom so ye hate, as beth not wroth with me.  
For trewely, ther can no wight yow serve,
That half so looth your wraththe wolde deserve.

'And nere it that we been so neigh the tente
Of Calkas, which that seen us bothe may,
I wolde of this yow telle al myn entente;  
But this enseled til another day.
Yeve me your hond, I am, and shal ben ay,
God help me so, whyl that my lyf may dure,
Your owene aboven every creature.

'Thus seyde I never er now to womman born;  
For god myn herte as wisly glade so,
I lovede never womman here-biforn
As paramours, ne never shal no mo.
And, for the love of god, beth not my fo;
Al can I not to yow, my lady dere,  
Compleyne aright, for I am yet to lere.

'And wondreth not, myn owene lady bright,
Though that I speke of love to you thus blyve;
For I have herd or this of many a wight,
Hath loved thing he never saugh his lyve.  
Eek I am not of power for to stryve
Ayens the god of love, but him obeye
I wol alwey, and mercy I yow preye.

'Ther been so worthy knightes in this place,
And ye so fair, that everich of hem alle  
Wol peynen him to stonden in your grace.
But mighte me so fair a grace falle,
That ye me for your servaunt wolde calle,
So lowly ne so trewely you serve
Nil noon of hem, as I shal, til I sterve.'  

Criseide un-to that purpos lyte answerde,
As she that was with sorwe oppressed so
That, in effect, she nought his tales herde,
But here and there, now here a word or two.
Hir thoughte hir sorwful herte brast a-two.  
For whan she gan hir fader fer aspye,
Wel neigh doun of hir hors she gan to sye.

But natheles she thonked Diomede
Of al his travaile, and his goode chere,
And that him liste his friendship hir to bede;  
And she accepteth it in good manere,
And wolde do fayn that is him leef and dere;
And trusten him she wolde, and wel she mighte,
As seyde she, and from hir hors she alighte.

Hir fader hath hir in his armes nome,  
And tweynty tyme he kiste his doughter swete,
And seyde, 'O dere doughter myn, wel-come!'
She seyde eek, she was fayn with him to mete,
And stood forth mewet, milde, and mansuete.
But here I leve hir with hir fader dwelle,  
And forth I wol of Troilus yow telle.

To Troye is come this woful Troilus,
In sorwe aboven alle sorwes smerte,
With felon look, and face dispitous.
Tho sodeinly doun from his hors he sterte,  
And thorugh his paleys, with a swollen herte,
To chambre he wente; of no-thing took he hede,
Ne noon to him dar speke a word for drede.

And there his sorwes that he spared hadde
He yaf an issue large, and 'Deeth!' he cryde;  
And in his throwes frenetyk and madde
He cursed Iove, Appollo, and eek Cupyde,
He cursed Ceres, Bacus, and Cipryde,
His burthe, him-self, his fate, and eek nature,
And, save his lady, every creature.  

To bedde he goth, and weyleth there and torneth
In furie, as dooth he, Ixion in helle;
And in this wyse he neigh til day soiorneth.
But tho bigan his herte a lyte unswelle
Thorugh teres which that gonnen up to welle;  
And pitously he cryde up-on Criseyde,
And to him-self right thus he spak, and seyde: --

'Wher is myn owene lady lief and dere,
Wher is hir whyte brest, wher is it, where?
Wher ben hir armes and hir eyen clere,  
That yesternight this tyme with me were?
Now may I wepe allone many a tere,
And graspe aboute I may, but in this place,
Save a pilowe, I finde nought tenbrace.

'How shal I do? Whan shal she com ayeyn?  
I noot, allas! Why leet ich hir to go?
As wolde god, ich hadde as tho be sleyn!
O herte myn, Criseyde, O swete fo!
O lady myn, that I love and no mo!
To whom for ever-mo myn herte I dowe;  
See how I deye, ye nil me not rescowe!

'Who seeth yow now, my righte lode-sterre?
Who sit right now or stant in your presence?
Who can conforten now your hertes werre?
Now I am gon, whom yeve ye audience?  
Who speketh for me right now in myn absence?
Allas, no wight; and that is al my care;
For wel wot I, as yvel as I ye fare.

'How sholde I thus ten dayes ful endure,
Whan I the firste night have al this tene?  
How shal she doon eek, sorwful creature?
For tendernesse, how shal she this sustene,
Swich wo for me? O pitous, pale, and grene
Shal been your fresshe wommanliche face
For langour, er ye torne un-to this place.'  

And whan he fil in any slomeringes,
Anoon biginne he sholde for to grone,
And dremen of the dredfulleste thinges
That mighte been; as, mete he were allone
In place horrible, makinge ay his mone,  
Or meten that he was amonges alle
His enemys, and in hir hondes falle.

And ther-with-al his body sholde sterte,
And with the stert al sodeinliche awake,
And swich a tremour fele aboute his herte,  
That of the feer his body sholde quake;
And there-with-al he sholde a noyse make,
And seme as though he sholde falle depe
From heighe a-lofte; and than he wolde wepe,

And rewen on him-self so pitously,  
That wonder was to here his fantasye.
Another tyme he sholde mightily
Conforte him-self, and seyn it was folye,
So causeles swich drede for to drye,
And eft biginne his aspre sorwes newe,  
That every man mighte on his sorwes rewe.

Who coude telle aright or ful discryve
His wo, his pleynt, his langour, and his pyne?
Nought al the men that han or been on-lyve.
Thou, redere, mayst thy-self ful wel devyne  
That swich a wo my wit can not defyne.
On ydel for to wryte it sholde I swinke,
Whan that my wit is wery it to thinke.

On hevene yet the sterres were sene,
Al-though ful pale y-waxen was the mone;  
And whyten gan the orisonte shene
Al estward, as it woned is for to done.
And Phebus with his rosy carte sone
Gan after that to dresse him up to fare,
Whan Troilus hath sent after Pandare.  

This Pandare, that of al the day biforn
Ne mighte han comen Troilus to see,
Al-though he on his heed it hadde y-sworn,
For with the king Pryam alday was he,
So that it lay not in his libertee  
No-wher to gon, but on the morwe he wente
To Troilus, whan that he for him sente.

For in his herte he coude wel devyne,
That Troilus al night for sorwe wook;
And that he wolde telle him of his pyne,  
This knew he wel y-nough, with-oute book.
For which to chaumbre streight the wey he took,
And Troilus tho sobreliche he grette,
And on the bed ful sone he gan him sette.

'My Pandarus,' quod Troilus, 'the sorwe  
Which that I drye, I may not longe endure.
I trowe I shal not liven til to-morwe;
For whiche I wolde alwey, on aventure,
To thee devysen of my sepulture
The forme, and of my moeble thou dispone  
Right as thee semeth best is for to done.

'But of the fyr and flaumbe funeral
In whiche my body brenne shal to glede,
And of the feste and pleyes palestral
At my vigile, I prey thee tak good hede  
That be wel; and offre Mars my stede,
My swerd, myn helm, and, leve brother dere,
My sheld to Pallas yef, that shyneth clere.

'The poudre in which myn herte y-brend shal torne,
That preye I thee thou take and it conserve  
In a vessel, that men clepeth an urne,
Of gold, and to my lady that I serve,
For love of whom thus pitously I sterve,
So yeve it hir, and do me this plesaunce,
To preye hir kepe it for a remembraunce.  

'For wel I fele, by my maladye,
And by my dremes now and yore ago,
Al certeinly, that I mot nedes dye.
The owle eek, which that hight Ascaphilo,
Hath after me shright alle thise nightes two.  
And, god Mercurie! Of me now, woful wrecche,
The soule gyde, and, whan thee list, it fecche!'

Pandare answerde, and seyde, 'Troilus,
My dere freend, as I have told thee yore,
That it is folye for to sorwen thus,  
And causeles, for whiche I can no-more.
But who-so wol not trowen reed ne lore,
I can not seen in him no remedye,
But lete him worthen with his fantasye.

'But Troilus, I pray thee tel me now,  
If that thou trowe, er this, that any wight
Hath loved paramours as wel as thou?
Ye, god wot, and fro many a worthy knight
Hath his lady goon a fourtenight,
And he not yet made halvendel the fare.  
What nede is thee to maken al this care?

'Sin day by day thou mayst thy-selven see
That from his love, or elles from his wyf,
A man mot twinnen of necessitee,
Ye, though he love hir as his owene lyf;  
Yet nil he with him-self thus maken stryf.
For wel thow wost, my leve brother dere,
That alwey freendes may nought been y-fere.

'How doon this folk that seen hir loves wedded
By freendes might, as it bi-*** ful ofte,  
And seen hem in hir spouses bed y-bedded?
God woot, they take it wysly, faire and softe.
For-why good hope halt up hir herte on-lofte,
And for they can a tyme of sorwe endure;
As tyme hem hurt, a tyme doth hem cure.  

'So sholdestow endure, and late slyde
The tyme, and fonde to ben glad and light.
Ten dayes nis so longe not tabyde.
And sin she thee to comen hath bihight,
She nil hir hestes breken for no wight.  
For dred thee not that she nil finden weye
To come ayein, my lyf that dorste I leye.

'Thy swevenes eek and al swich fantasye
Dryf out, and lat hem faren to mischaunce;
For they procede of thy malencolye,  
That doth thee fele in sleep al this penaunce.
A straw for alle swevenes signifiaunce!
God helpe me so, I counte hem not a bene,
Ther woot no man aright what dremes mene.

'For prestes of the temple tellen this,  
That dremes been the revelaciouns
Of goddes, and as wel they telle, y-wis,
That they ben infernals illusiouns;
And leches seyn, that of complexiouns
Proceden they, or fast, or glotonye.  
Who woot in sooth thus what they signifye?

'Eek othere seyn that thorugh impressiouns,
As if a wight hath faste a thing in minde,
That ther-of cometh swiche avisiouns;
And othere seyn, as they in bokes finde,  
That, after tymes of the yeer by kinde,
Men dreme, and that theffect goth by the mone;
But leve no dreem, for it is nought to done.

'Wel worth o
Lilith Meredith Jun 2013
He is ancient steadfast
I am sure he was here when the world was created
I am sure he will be here when it ends
His gentle face carved with hard lines
He poured forth knowledge in his native Persian tongue
He called me Shohre
I learned it was his sister's name
He looked at me like a granddaughter and treated me just as sweet

“Ghabl az enghalab...”
Before the revolution...
After which would follow painful reminiscing of
The days before the current regime
When wine bubbled out from Shiraz
Men and women danced late into the night
And soft voices wove love songs in street cafes

“Ghabl az enghalab moalem dar daneshgah boodam.”
Before the revolution I was a university professor.
“Yeki az daneshjooyanam Ahmedinejad bood.”
One of my students was Ahmedinejad.
And in English, clear as hate,
“He was a *******.”

One night I stayed back for extra lessons
We ate cherries from Costco and
Read excerpts from his autobiography
Pages crafted from right to left, vignettes of
His military service in Mashhad
And consequent teaching career

“Ba'ad az enghalab...”
After the revolution...
Was always followed with war stories
Political dissidents lost to Evin prison
Sharia law imposed on moderate minds
Escaping Iran by night with a phony visa

“Ba'ad az enghalab dar ketabkhane bayad kar konam”
After the revolution I had to work in the library.
“Khoastam yad bedahm, pas man o zanam be Amrika raftim.”
I wanted to teach, so my wife and I came to America.
He has not been home since 1981.

On December third of 2009 he walked smugly into the classroom
Setting a tape player happily on a desk.
He opened a folder from right to left
Produced a well-worn cassette
And played Happy Birthday, in Persian, for me.
He smiled at me with hands folded throughout the song
As I’d imagine he had smiled at
All the other special women in his life named Shohre.

He never played Happy Birthday for any of the other students.
Or gave them cherries,
Or went to their weddings,
Or held them while they cried when their grandfather died.
I do not know what he saw in me
But in each other we found family years and miles away from home.
Part III in a series.
Daivik Apr 2021
They call me Mr.Cadaver
Dead,yet living in hospitals
And schools where they teach how to become doctors
Oh!Doctors My only true lover

I died of a natural disease
You know,the one where you constantly sneeze
Too poor to be buried
Too poor to be burned
So I was embalmed
In certain chemicals
Formaldehyde,then frozen
And in this form turned

It wasn't easy at first
Young eyes looking at me suspiciously
The weak-hearted watching disgustedly
But as time(I have much of it)
Went by I got used to it

I was dissected by stainless steel
So that they could learn how to heal
These various tissues,body parts well
I knew my worth when departed

I was a precise model
Of a living person
With my help
So many learnt

Basic human anatomy
Which vein goes where
Where lies the spleen
So whenever you are on the hospital bed
Remember
My death gave another life to thee

They sell me for many a dollar
To the blue-eyed scholar
And I will become his loyal friend
I may look creepy
But that's just because I'm dead

The teacher points to various places
On me , sometimes I feel a little ticklish
But I a satisfied by the curious eyes
Who are learning about me for your benefit


And when the session expires
My second life,it must retire
But they extract my bones
Put the skeletal frame in a museum
Or break it into pieces
And give it to students of various fields
The dentists want the cranium
I'm bloodless
Anatomy's life bood

So bow down to me
Ye first year students
I taught Da Vinci how to draw a man
Taught Michaelangelo how to sculpt
From Ancient Greece to modern medicine
My death has given life to many humans
My dentist brother asked me to write this
Robin Carretti Dec 2016
Trees we hike dark coal
"Horror"
He whispers blade eyes
Cut her not to like
White drizzle wedding
ghostly take a hike
Her bare skin shivers
Knocking on heavens door
Those skinheads hit her floor
Life's cruel wicked costly
Silver bullets hit the smoking
potheads
Chattered teeth hearing sound's
He shifted so close desirable
( tasty mound's)

The Stranger  Billy don't B fool
joker
  Dark-love complicated **** it
Computer slammed her fingers
All Choked up Elvis twist

Deep-house music strangled rope 
 seated,
Touching a nerve dead-beat
Harvest-hair Rocky horror seat
Trembling in your
 Rocking Chair
No flair black tears red tip check
of word fears
Elevated you deadly crumb's
in a row nothing to show

Blood was dripping
Someone's eyes pop-out fixated
Dark brain felt polluted
white chalked her stalked
You were being watched
Eye's stalked daggered

Rows and Rows
Cosmic dark Gothically
Webs caught in webs
black tears
satanically
Parasite horror website
Bood ***** bite
Loud drips from the sink
discolored
Wrinkled Hand's Slime Sticky
Her long neck lastly tricky

Rocky-Road yellow brick
lightly pricked Emerald city
Eye's melt fingers slipped
The poppy, eyes I tripped
He's no lover of mine cheaply.
magicbroccoli66 Sep 2017
wunteim i sad to mee mumu wor i *** gee
shaggie sakid we nood to do de smokeng
i sed noo is a bood goy
@lostboy
David Sharp Sep 2015
You woke me in the night
Told me of vampires and demons
The colossal breath of dragons
Lurid fears you'd one day fight

Heart so beautifully torn
Fresh to the elements in distress
You tender path of bood roses
Between roads of howling thorns

Sing with ****** sensitivity
A warm sugar rush symphony
We are guilty spirited angels
Of flesh filled fantasies

The writhing life from your bones
Peeled and gnawed and devoured
Free from rotten memory
Of detritus filled tombs
milo Oct 2016
in 7th grade it was red, bood red, wine red. short and choppy and red, i hated myself. i cried until it grew, thinking my problems rooted in what was left of my hair. i lied that year, red lips spewing black oil, sticky and hard to wash out. in 8th grade, the summer i was a fairy, it was raven black, green under the redwood sun, too thick bangs covering my greek caterpillar eyebrows. a boy had a crush on me and girls carved words into their ankles, i didnt understand. i dont think they understod either. in 9th grade my hair was long, overgrown, knotted. stained colors i no longer could recognize, hugging my neck and back and shoulders when you ****** me over, i buzzed it off in the end.
Vladimir s Krebs Nov 2015
is there any road to follow is there any way of survival for my own hope. where do i turn to if i mean no trouble. theres no hiding cause every one knowes my life like a bood with chapere books. all i can do is turn my silence in to violence. theres only fear where i cant hid behind the sound to hide my stolen omen.

where do i wait for you to show? i ponder on what will happen to me is the danger screams out of the shadows. what is real my dreams that turn into dark!

i can keep running from all the lifes evils of temptation do i follow or not. what s this life
life or death. some one stole my own demons. how long do i have to keep going when i just gett weaker and weaker as time goes i lie to my self like every thing is all right when im slowly drowning out of the light.

my hands arnt stong enouht to hold my silence. holding on for dear life my hands start  to slips as i plumit to my death. seeing my own refection that is only evil that takes no risks.


when i touched the mioir i went in to another world seeing whay ly life is like for every white lie that leaves scares.

i slip way from the light with some ones othere hands pull me away soying dont go eve if you chose. we are hear to fight for what neddds to be changed.

letting go of my  souls as it puours out of my breath.

our world is full of dangers that linger every corner but i kep slipping from the light cause i ont have any thing to hide be hind my sound so i dont break



what am i
what will i be
how will i survive
what do i need
love
free of fear
how long do i have to keep running
my sound is now where to be hurd
the cold weather bites
my anxiety grows
with what limits
idk who the real me is
cause looking in the water seeing what you look like
what would be left
if i went missing
what would you do
do i really know who the real me is

cause i dont have any thing to hide be hind the car radio no sound my silnenc turnes in to violence




(MY SILENCE TURNS IN TO VIOLENCE) when i dont have a place to hid

drowing my life with music has saved the pain way from all my (ANGER&HAT;;)

all i can see when i sleep is this world dyeing with ******* hatred and small war

i dont have any thing to hid be hind to stay safe  

(MY ANGER%HATE) becomes dangerous making me snap and go psychoticly crazy
idk i feel like i only can bee free is when i turn my head phone up really loud tunning people out
Jesus

Written by: Mario Vitale
We all walk on a loose line that leads to debris

Silence

Etched in the fabrication through the elapse in time,
The Lilley of the valley the bright & morning star/

The illumination in time through degrees of solace
A hand extends through the cosmic debris in circumstantial evidence;

Just to touch the very hem of his garment
Just to hear to pitter patter of soft sandeled feet...

~
A myraid chasm through a gulf fix in sight;

We all fall short in the midst of violation...
Having planted our seeds in its timely proclamation
A side was pierced for sorrow to be gained;
In times of want their is a clear change

In the violation of the innocent proned to bitter chains..
~

The hand to hold as you are told until the rights to you are sold;

Jesus in the garden pearls of sweat fallen down
Jesus in my heart while painting the town
Jesus after the rise in certain days to see
Jesus in the formidable way making sweet history
Jesus helping neighbor or the hero in disguise;
Jesus offering breakfast to his followers in disguise
Jesus who will pray in the tender hours of need
Jesus is in you & also in me!
~

Torn

With days in thought & delicate prayer with humble quest
A rest in view to its timely crest;
We each our given a choice regarding heaven & hell
Yet Jesus is the perfect gentleman who doesn't force himself on anyone

Through briars, asps & serpents layer...
Jesus
We all were born into the world & given a choice?
Repent for the days our cursed;
Don't live your lives in a fishbowl circling around year after year choose the fear
In sorrows quest the follow draws near in desolation filtered through a straw
A sore vex sway to take the time to bow the knee to pray
Some may even insist it ought not be that way yet who are they?

The liberal makes his or her heart fat on the worldly vices with false choices;
~

Through ages past as Abraham had grasped & Moses was exposed
Jesus
We watched on as you were ripped to shreads;
Your tender touch through eraser heads
In vile repute hence the opened door to explore...
Yet the past is the past & now is now
A heart saturated with truth thus in order to withstand the truest test in time
Elapsed fervor,

Bood soaked messenger exposed to the elements;
Jesus
Come into my heart I know I'm a sinner
I ask you to be my Lord & savior;
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

Now choose to celebrate your commitment with other believers in the fellowship;
Embrace the cross.
Amen
Offer an invitation to come to a relationship with Jesus.
Mateuš Conrad Mar 2018
only that the poles don't know how similar
they are to the Russians,
in Poland the priests receive the major
scorn, the paupers the minor scorn,
while stray dogs run with the ghost
of diogenes of sinope,
        there's hardly a work ethic by
merely talking,
              woe to the scribblers under
the umbrella of technical labours,
woe to the dreaming aloud with
a horizon as wide as a breath,
     but the feet of a drowning man...
woe to no rigour and to the waiting
game of sighs, woe admiring
                            sand blocks playing
like children beneath the gaze at Giza.
now i can understand an angry voice
aged 17, 18, 19...
         8 or so years later and i have
no shame: which is more useful than
to cherish honour...
      like might be said of what Nietzsche
looked for and what Diogenes likewise
did, with the same lantern at noon:
far easier to find god, than an honest man,
gesticulating is plentiful,
     but in what deed is man to unlearn
blabbering like a baby?
unrepentant or remorsless, whichever,
but when the fire is poured
    and there is laughter in this aloofness
and no sulking for a breadth's worth
of night, only then: hardly a reason
to drink in company, or to keep any,
the barrenness of sulking,
       no tender shoulder to hide into,
morbid cold gravestone and the howling
moon, smile and scythe and
the perpetual harvest of man,
    somehow too much lunacy goes
into this religiosity to simply allow
material absolutism of this here and now...  
too much lunacy and in grief
excused, as a man might be found
hunched over a grave talking,
   far beyond god willing...
        because the heart is already invested
far beyond paying a deity its
supposed "dues"...
          sidewinding back into politico,
who are these non-cis non-this-that-and-the-other,
or rather the this-that-and-the-other?
back east i am still an abnormality for
a life of a bachelor, pseudo-cenobite,
suburbia and among the living
it's hardly a convent to mirror silence,
yet still the norm to take a wife,
but as i have only this for my defence:
YOU CAN'T MAKE SOMEONE HAPPY
BY FORCE...
                         perhaps the customs
of Kazakhstan are to forcibly take a wife
as is their ancient custom,
           not by force not by genetic
existentialism, frankly not via the Anglo
lineage of argument,
            patron saint of bachelors Emmanuel
and a new church where but a thought
is enough to give motive, watching
lunatics gesticulate beside themselves,
    slaughterhouses of critiques
and far from the atheistic notion surrounding
it as some sort of debilitating conjuring,
a sign of a low i.q., intellectual fallacy,
immaturity of seeking manna from heaven,
or reading the books with a dusting over
with poo'ems...
                   fixations on a fidgety metaphor,
certainly, some might think they're
the best poets in the world,
    but if they don't have something to stand
on, a heavyweight reading list:
   you can see them, glaring in spring's
sunlight like the mirage of seeing a puddle
of water, when instead a bed of shining platinum.
censorship-in-reverse:
    just like the awkward moment when
a novelist shows his extra limb by using
the thesaurus: suddenly the flow of lexicon
hits a hydroelectric blockade...
     stuttering, stut' stut' stut', stuttering
presence... already Atlas and the strict
take on Sisyphus, who, could have just
sat there at the foot of the hill and looked
at the smoothness and lack of: flip flop
in-grooves and promises of flint knives.
anatomical atlas and his brother,
        the bottom-most vertebra of the backbone,
toy: standing vertical,
                  brother Ccyx, two sugars, brown,
cappucino -ye'bood'yed'ka'put!
   imshi, y'allah!
                      twice removed from kicks,
      and thrice from: sick 'em!
                past all meaning and back into sounds,
that subtle layer of freedom
known only to dogs barking, crows harking,
and sparrow jittering and chatting
up to the high heavens...
         past st. Peter's street to watch
            the golden calf and the crucifix contend
for the laurel crown of ceasar...
            hardly a time to start performing
tango on your knees...
               and when all these horrible,
horrible, cis white men will die,
   and no more children of God are born,
when in vitro overtakes in vivo...
    and when the norm from cis will
shift to bi etc.,
                 comes the snowman and
overshadows the new norms,
                            gateway in the attic,
pampered closet, and what some might
call closet intellectuals...
                             atlas and his titan
brother Ccyx, depicted wearing nothing
but chinos, chiseled brain fudge to perfection,
who holds the weight,
     of the entirety of the human lexicon...
**** it, some random dictionary cascade
to deviate from the Ítálıano:
   chambers of gold chiseled by churning
butter, da da da... charcoal harvest
       of night from a vacuum with an echo
looking for its charitable cavern...
          chasing checkers at Chequers,
we you i: cue queue, and the inexhaustible
chasm of cameos...
           a dream of two chairs
    and a curly ginger imagining gelato,
in later life oral goes out of the curriculum
and it's back to man on top of a woman
as depicted in movies,
   loss of adventure in the bedroom
translates into trips to the amazon
and photo-tics at the taj mahal...
                                  and her name was
Tamara and she lived with 3 gay guys
and i still don't understand why she
wanted to do it under the bedsheets
rather on top of them...
                                hard to get a *******
when you're finding it hard to breathe
in a cocoon like that...
                            elsewhere otherwise...
i always thought you tended to sleep
under the sheets rather than play a game
of ken & barbie...
                                   i was 7 and she was 6
and we were trying to figure out why
we had the parts that the dolls didn't have...
and we inspected each other while taking
a bath, as children of neighbours do.
X May 2020
gut feelings
Give me a reason
For self treason
Bood up all season
Just to find out
Nothingness
Keeps
Me
breathing

— The End —