On a Friday afternoon, in the Burger joint for my weekly treat
Celebrating another week in, that I'd survived another week in the job
I ordered my usual, a Veggie burger meal
They have this lovely Veggie burger, it's a burger made of potato with a lot of other vegetables through it
Is very tasty, this and some nice big chunky chips/ fries along with it, with some sachets of tomato sauce
All rounded off with a nice Black coffee... very nice...
The restaurant was quite busy that day for some reason, my usual seat was taken
So I had to find somewhere else to sit

As I sat there feeling happy with myself
I was reminded of something I'd once read  about the great Irish poet W.B.Yeats
He was sitting in a teashop once looking out the window at the passing crowds
And he suddenly realised that life was good, that he could bless and be blessed
I thought to myself "I knew what he meant"
Then suddenly out of the corner of my eye I notice someone looking over at me... looking directly at me
Indeed they seem to be staring at me
I thought to myself "Better not make eye contact, might be some kind of ******"
Then I noticed someone else was looking over at me too
"What the **** are you looking at!" I thought to myself
And then there was another person and then another
"What the **** are you all looking at??!" I thought getting a little flustered at this stage
Every few moments a head would pop up and start looking straight over at me
I was beginning to feel very uncomfortable
Suddenly it seemed like they were all looking over at me... the whole feckin' room
"What the hell are you all looking at, you bunch of feckers", I thought
"Had I turned into the elephant man or something !!"
Finally I said I'm getting the hell out of here
Their all looking at me
So I stuffed my bag of chips in my pocket
Drained my cup of coffee and wrapped what was left of my burger in a napkin to take away
As I stood up to put on my coat I turned around
And noticed for the first time there was a big TV screen up on the wall right behind me
So that's what the feckers were all looking over at
It wasn't me at all!!!

"**** !" I thought, "spoiled my whole feckin' lunch
W.B. Yeats my ****".

There's so many different paths I want to run down,
Different places I yearn to see.
I'd like to live somewhere beautiful
Where I can simply be

I fight with myself over the fantasies I keep,
Sometimes I'm sure I'll live somewhere far,
I could have a chicken or two,
My dog could enjoy a huge yard.

Other times I know deep down,
I need convenience and I'd surely fail
Without being somewhere crowded,
Delivery is a privilege.

I don't want the middle between these two places,
Because suburbia was depressing,
Living only two inches away from a bustling family,
I didn't like the times I lived with mine there.

I'd need space undoubtedly.
Then the absurdity starts showing,
I think to myself.. I'll find an abandoned city
Maybe a desserted town like the ones tiktok shows me.

I could pretend I'm in my own story
And the empty streets would be my own
I could wander these houses and see what was left behind...
I think it sounds silly but, it always comes to mind.

If I could live in the house of my dreams
It would be somewhere unimaginable
Underneath the deepest seas.
I'd have glass walls, and a ceiling made of stars

I'd wake up to see jellyfish blooms
And sit in awe, nothing to do
I could swim to the surface somehow
And watch meteors fall

I think what I truly desire
Is somewhere comfortable
Where I can imagine these wishes
Without being bothered by time, or people who don't really care

Or maybe I belong on another planet,
Because I feel alien everywhere.

My own skin feels ill-fitting.
Like maybe it belonged to me
at some point in time,
But now it sloughs off my shoulders
Like a hand-me-down
given too early…

i don't recognise the "girl" in the mirror anymore,
is she still there??
maybe crushed inside
the stars still burn bright just too deep for anyone to see them, or for her to see them
if i'm so uncomfortable in this body why am i still in it
i don't want to play the part anymore
i'm lost, i need to find me
however, there's something comforting about no-one seeing you, but when you leave it too long you can't see you either

parts of you can reappear,
like when you buy a new shirt,
it fits unlike the ones that cling,
you can hide in this one
but it's made for someone else
someone they don't expect you to be
and someone no-one wants you to be
but who do i want me to be
i want to be able to look in the mirror and like what i see, or even just accept it and feel safe within that body that isn't just a skin like this

Cumbersome, I am
Under some profound stress, and
I'm clueless at best